Tag: moving forward

Time To Simmer

Published on by Kimberly Novak1 Comment

A friend of mine recently visited The Butterfly House and was  lucky enough to release some butterflies.  After taking the lid off the container she gently slid in her finger.  The butterfly perched on the tip, as she extended her hand to set it free she said “enjoy your 21 days”.

It got me thinking….Did that butterfly set out with a plan?  What will be important over the next 21 days?  Will she live out her dreams?    Imagine if we only had 21 days.  What would our plans be?  The butterfly has no idea that it only has 21 days, just as we have no idea what our life span will be.

People spend a lot of time worrying about the next day.  When we leave work we are already concerned about what our day will be like tomorrow.  Children leaving school worry about tests the next day.  As we are driving home from work we are stressed over what traffic may be like.   Then there are the evening worries…will I get everything done so I can get a decent nights sleep and wake up and do it all over again?  That is life for most of us.  Are we making the most out of our lives?

If the butterfly worried day after day about what was going to happen next she wouldn’t have much of a life in that short 21 day span.  All of the strength she gained while in the cocoon would be wasted.  Instead, she set’s out on a course of discovery.  Fluttering around from flower to flower, embracing her life and the time she has.  Imagine what could happen if we embraced life.

I’m not one to talk, I’ve spent a lot of my life in the worry stage, but I”m also realizing that I am much happier if I make the choice to embrace life rather than worry about it.  Recently I was stuck on the side of the highway with a flat tire.  A natural response for most after hearing the POP is to immediately get angry.  I heard the sound, looked up and noticed how blue the sky was; sun was shining; it was a beautiful day…I chose to embrace it.  After calling work; calling for roadside assistance; I rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof and enjoyed looking up at the brilliantly blue sky.  I had 40 minutes to enjoy.  I was also blessed with an hour and a half walk around town while waiting for the tire to be fixed.  My responses set the course for the rest of my day.  Anger would’ve turned to stress, which would’ve brought on physical symptoms and so on.

Living life as if we only had 21 days could be kind of exciting!  It forces one to make the best of every moment no matter if it’s a good or bad one.  The bad days are the ones that make us stronger.  When I told a friend about my flat tire experience the first reaction was negative, she was upset for me!  I just smiled because I knew I had made the best of that incident.  I know it sounds silly, but I did feel like I gained just a little more strength that day.

It was a start to conditioning myself to see the good in the bad.  Yes I had a flat, but I also had time to enjoy the nice day that I never would have allowed myself.  I was given a few hours to simmer.

It takes 21 days for a butterfly to soar to the greatest heights it can.  In that short time the glasswing carries up to 40 times it’s weight and is the strongest, but most delicate, of the species.  What do we need to do to be the strongest we can be?  Similarly for us it takes 21 days to change or create a habit.  Kind of like we get a chance to reboot if we are stuck in a bad habit or strengthen by creating a positive one.  

I’ve begun my reboot and I’m confident that once I’m past my 21 days, I will have more strength to soar to the next.   Life’s obstacles are just stepping-stones of strength that will carry us on to another bad day.

How will you spend your next 21 days?……..Comment below on how you have  changed.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/16/12

 

Related Articles/Blogs:

Day one of 21 days

21 days to health eating habits

How to remain positive in adverse situations

Smile feel happy

Positivity Challenge

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunate Events

Published on by Kimberly Novak3 Comments

Anyone remember the book series?  A series of unfortunate events.  It was a very popular book series when my boys were younger.  My oldest read them on his own then I read them with the younger two.  We all really enjoyed the series until the movie came out.  Sadly, it was not as good as the books and we were all very disappointed.   Sorry Jim Carey.   Each book focused on an unfortunate event that led to a bigger one and then a bigger one and on an on.  Eventually it got to a point where an important decision had to be made.

What exactly is an event?  The dictionary says it is a significant occurrence or happening.  Which means that most of what we go through in life is an event.  Even the little things are significant in our lives.  So what happens when we have a series of negative or unfortunate events?

I’ve had my fair share of big, medium, small, extra-large, extra small, and double extra-large size unfortunate events unfold over the past few years.  I’ve struggled through them with friends, counseling and making changes in my life.  I’ve been moving in a positive direction with my job, friends, and even dating.  Things were going so well until………..Another unfortunate event.

I fell……fell how?  Lost my balance and hit the pavement.  People fall all the time, why is this a significant event in my life?  It’s forced me to ask myself why the fall?  why now?  Why in the midst of my happiness am I being forced to STOP, REST, and THINK?

Anyone see the movie City of Angels?    The angel falls so that he can be human and enjoy all of the senses we do.  He falls so he can smell, taste,  touch, and be able to love.  What a silly angel!  He quickly learns just how painful life can be when we are able to use all of those senses.

During the series of my unfortunate events I’m sure I’ve missed out on a few things.  I have let my emotions get the best of me sometimes and didn’t allow myself to fully enjoy my surroundings.  Even with the divorce aside my life has still been stressful. Trying to adjust to my new lifestyle, living away from the kids, the new job (s), and learning how to be close to someone again.  I’ve adapted to it all but have I really let it all sink in?

If I were to analyze this past week, I’d say my fall is a really good reason to stop and smell the roses.  I need to take a minute and a big deep breath to see if I am where I really need to be.  Now that I’m past the divorce, and somewhat comfortable in my surroundings, it’s time to reflect on the decisions I’ve made.  I no longer have to make any decisions based on what I’m going through.  That is all behind me and I need to focus on the future.    First step is to determine if the fall is in any way related to my other health concerns.  Secondly is to embrace the resting time to really reflect on where I am heading and what makes me happy.

So, was the angel really silly to fall?  I’d say no!  Even though I’ve been through hell and back and have fallen yet again it has made me realize that I was missing out on some of those senses.  I need to close my eyes and really taste the pear, smell the oranges, and feel the fruit in my mouth.  (if you saw the movie you will get that, if not rent the movie!)

I guess the point I”m trying to make is that when you fall no matter what the circumstances are, take the time to really figure out what you are supposed to be doing during your down time.  There is a reason we fall be it just in a slump for a while, fall in love, fall out of love, or literally hit the pavement.  It is a moment in time that will lead to our next event.

I have two to three weeks to embrace my fall and reflect on where I am and why.  I cannot wait to see where I am headed!  I’d love to hear your experiences on how a fall or unfortunate event changed something in your life. Comment below.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/30/12

 

Life Happens….

Published on by Kimberly Novak8 Comments

I want to start off this post with a heart-felt apology.  I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post.  I feel like I have disappointed my readers, followers and friends who check on a regular basis to read what I have to say.  It has not been from a lack of interest that is for sure, I have been caught up in the happenings of life.  Not only have I let you down but I have also broken the number one rule of blogging, post regularly!  One other order of business before we get to today’s topic.  The eBook is still happening, though it’s a slower process than I had first anticipated. Who knew it would be so complicated to self publish your own online book?  I will continue to keep you updated on the progress, and I thank you for your patience.

Life and stress all seem to continue no matter what we are dealing with emotionally.  I have found this out most recently.  I like to think of it as Life Happens, instead of the more popular Shit Happens. (pardon my french)  Wouldn’t it be nice if when dealing with emotional stress, grief, loss, and worry we were placed into a quiet space until those troubles resolved themselves?  I’ve pictured my setting many times.  The room would be cream and soft blue with pale yellow window coverings.  It would look over a brook complete with a waterfall.  I’d spend mornings on the veranda with herbal tea, a rocking chair and a soft blanket draped across my lap reading an inspirational novel.  Afternoon walks along the brook would serve to be relaxing and bring calm to my spirit.  My day would end with a light massage, red wine, smells of lavender and honey, while sounds of the ocean play until I drift off to sleep.

Hello….Hello…..Back to reality!!!!!  In the real world we have to learn how to function in our daily lives along with the emotional issues we carry with us.  Our lives do not have a hold button and reality is not the scene I described earlier.  Figuring out how to get through our day and live with our stress is not an easy task.  For starters you need to acknowledge what it is that is causing it.  Once you have your finger on the trigger, then putting a plan in place will be easier.  

For me recently my stress triggers have been my health issues, weight gain, finances, and sale of a property (or lack of sale).   Some of those I have no control over, my job is to work on the ones that I do.  I have begun to implement a plan and all I can do is take one day at a time and focus on the important aspects of each day as it happens.  Looking behind or into the future will only add more stress to the pot.  The key is to remember to live life looking through the windshield, see only what is right in front of you at the present moment.

After you acknowledge what your triggers are and you have your plan in action the next and probably most important step is to just let life continue to happen.  Try not to live in the past, live in the moment of each day.  Try by saying an affirmation everyday when you get out of bed.  Some examples are :  I choose to see each obstacle as an opportunity to grow; I choose to be happy; I approve of myself; I am proud of myself; I light the world with my smile.  Just today I found a perfect song for daily affirmations, it helped to inspire this topic.  It’s called Good Morning by Mandisa.  I will attach the link at the bottom of the post.   The daily affirmations will become a habit once you start doing them.  It may be easier for you to leave reminders around the house.  Write one on a mirror, leave one on the fridge, in your car, etc.

So to review, we know life happens and unfortunately we cannot retreat to our happy place until what we are going through is over.  In order to move through life and the situation in a positive manner it is important to first find your stress trigger, secondly chart out a plan of action to live each day while dealing with the stress, and lastly remind yourself with daily affirmations that you will get through it.  Also, you can find a way to bring yourself to your happy place.  I have found a wonderful tool called guided imagery and I pick recordings or scripts that describe the happy setting that I see in my mind.  I listen to it at night in order to calm myself for sleep and it has really been helpful.  Simply Google Guided Imagery and a plethora of information will be at your fingertips.

My plan is to listen to this song every day before I even step out of bed!  What are your tips for daily affirmations?  Respond in the comments.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4Sj6TmSG4w&feature=related

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/22/12