If you’re the parent of a prodigal…don’t give up!


prodigalDriving home from work yesterday, I flipped over to a  radio station on impulse and the phrase being spoken, which still echoes in my heart, was “If you’re the parent of a prodigal, don’t give up”. Having missed more than half the broadcast, I was hesitant to continue, worried I would not get the gist of what the intended focus was to be.  My heart, on the other hand was leading me in the direction of staying, listening and learning.

Families are complex in themselves, but when a severe trauma is thrown into the mix the possibilities for destruction of the family unit are endless, and the risk of a lost sheep is inevitable.   I have found myself on many sides of this unfortunate equation, from being directly involved to a concerned friend looking on from a distance, and no matter how the stories develop or what the reasons are, the pain and struggle are real and should be considered an extreme loss.

In the parable of the Prodigal (Luke 15:11-32), the focus was the mans son, but who is to say that in our lives, the prodigal can’t also be a spouse, another family member, or even a friend; any Child of God, who has separated themselves from family, those they love, and our loving God.

I have always been impressed with the father in the parable and his commitment to waiting with complete love and respect in his heart for his son’s return.  I believe it is his faith that gives him the strength to do so.  It is his faith, which allows him to welcome his son back into his life with no questions asked; and it is through the need for compassion, they are reunited.

Remaining on the radio station and listening to the last five minutes of the broadcast, meant the world to me.  First, it reminded me that no one is alone in suffering, not only are we held in God’s embrace, there are other’s going through similar circumstances.  Secondly, strained relationships are far more prevalent than ever before and it is a fast growing concern for any family, broken or not.  And lastly, I learned that it is OK to be in a state of unrest, frustration, sadness, and despair when grieving the loss of a prodigal as long as we know what to do with those emotions.

One of the callers on the broadcast suggested simply praying “Help me God”.  Other suggestions are “Heal his/her heart”, or “Please love them as I love them”.

Prayer, an intimate conversation with God, can be a replacement for picking up the phone and setting yourself up for the rejection that is most likely on the other end.  When that urge hits to reach out to your prodigal and you are not sure if it is the right thing to do…pray and let God lead.

In the meantime, if you need to fill an empty space, imagine that all of the energy which goes into the worry, frustration, and sadness, will, in God’s time, be transformed into a beautiful reunion, filled with compassion, love, understanding, and the blessings of God.

For anyone suffering from this loss, please know that you are being lifted in prayer by all others who are waiting, wondering and hoping for their returning prodigal.  If you have a similar story and would like to share, please lift other’s up by commenting.

Many Blessings to All,

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

Related posts/pages

Moody Radio, Cleveland

Luke 15:11-32

Welcome Home, Prodigal Child of God

 

Normal, except for:


test resultsResults are good, everything checks out except for the following:  There are trivial amounts of an abnormality and the source is unknown. You may go about your normal daily activities.

Would you find this helpful on your healing journey or do you see it as a way to hide an underlying reason for what you are suffering with?

When I was in the midst of my divorce I tried very hard to make sure my life looked normal.  I did a lot of pretending, some saw through it but other’s did not.  As I look back now, I think if I had just let things ride out naturally without hiding my actual feelings I may have made my healing process a lot easier.

Instead I chose to make it look like my life was normal knowing inside that there was an “except for” clause attached to it.  Unfortunately, I let that feeling of normalcy be a guide to making some poor decisions.  I was living as if the results were 100% what I wanted them to be, when in reality that was far from the truth.

So, am I behind in my healing journey because of that,  or am I that much further ahead for recognizing it?  When I think back to what I can apply it to I am reminded of a series of questions and answers.

Q:  How are you holding up?        A:  I’m great, thank you for being concerned.

Q:  You look like your handling things very well are you ok?  A:  Ya, it get’s better every day.

Q:  Your so strong, how do you do it?         A:  I have God at my side.

I could go on but will stop at those that were asked the most.  The important thing is what all of these have in common.  Every question resulted in a normal answer, one that seemed like everything was in control.  However, each answer neglected to give the details about the “except for” that I felt with every part of my being.  Same questions but honest answers: results

A:  I’m great except that I feel like my life is a mess, and I’m not sure how I will come out of all of this.

A:  Every day is a constant struggle I need all the help I can get to make it through my day.

A:  I need the prayers of everyone I know to make sure I survive this.

The first set of answers were all warm and fuzzy right?  Sugar coating makes us feel better and we appear to be strong to those who are watching us survive our tragedy.  But are we just hampering our healing and the ability to move on if we are not being honest with how we are actually feeling?  Healing from anything can be a very long process and we all do it in our own time.  Nothing is cut and dry especially when it comes to getting “normal” results.

My advice to you is, if you want a 100% normal result, put in the effort to achieve it. Be honest not only with yourself but with those around you and let them carry you on whatever part of your journey they are meant to be on.  It will be worth it.

If you can relate to acting normal but living with the “except for’s” please share your stories.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly 6/13/16

 

 

 

 

Fly with Grace, Peace and Hope


flygirlI was all set to call it a night, I leaned over to turn off the light and my body paused.  I looked at the lamp and was reminded that I still carry pieces of my past with me.  As I embark on yet another move, I am determined to let go of these items that have lingered in places where they really didn’t need to be.

Take for instance the lamp…which I made from a wine bottle…that was given to me by my ex.  I have moved three times since my divorce and apparently this lamp has made the trip.  Why is it still at my bedside?

I sat down at my vanity earlier today to begin to clean out the drawers and found an old wallet.  I pulled out old business cards and in the middle I found a photo probably 15 years old or more of the two of us on a New Year’s Eve…why is this photo still in this wallet?

I shopped at the grocery store today and gave the cashier my phone number for my rewards card…she repeated the name and it is still registered under my married name, why?

I received mail this week that was addressed to Mr. and Mrs…. why?  The company who sent it clearly knows that I am divorced.

I am in a place in my life where I am making positive changes, and for the first time I feel like they are changes that God wants me to make.  Things are moving smoothly and in a positive direction.  So then why am I getting all of these little reminders of my marriage?

It’s been five years and yet every time I make a literal move I find more mementos of our life together. I thought for sure I had done a formal cleanse but items still seem to surface.  This move has to be it…I no longer want to find these items that carry so much weight.  I like to think that I am at peace with my circumstance.   Truthfully I am, until that moment that I’m not.

fly freeYou can’t forget life and you can’t undo what’s been done.  What you can do is learn, grow and survive.  I know in the coming weeks as I continue to pack I will most likely stumble across more things that I thought I had let go of.  I will put on my wings and FINALLY set the items free.  Lightening the load will make it much easier for me to move both physically and emotionally.

Soon, I will return to the area where I grew up,  without the restraints of where I have been. Fueled with the power given to me by my children, friendships, experiences, and all of my scars, I will be at peace.  I will be ready for yet another transformation to become the best butterfly I can be! Fly with grace, confidence and hope.

Have you flown? Have you let it all go? Are you at peace?   Please share in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

5/12/16

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