Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within


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Purple Brave!


Purple, the color between red and blue.  Light purple or lavender is soothing both for the sense of sight and smell, where dark purple can be less appealing.  Purple can signify power, and embody wealth.  Purple can come in the form of a heart given to a hero; a soft flower; and a mean black eye or bruise.  Being a part of the color red, which is a hot color, and then the calming blue makes purple very important.  It is the place that can capture every bad and every good feeling, emotion, memory, fear, strength, defeat, and accomplishment.  Today, I am harnessing my PURPLE!

IMG_1587 (1)My purple came through when I had a “moment” while on the treadmill. It took all I had to fight back tears, there was no way I could have a breakdown in a gym.  I was not on an episode of the biggest loser!

Let’s rewind just a moment, prior to that workout I had stopped to purchase appropriate footwear.  After trying on several pairs I ended up with purple shoes.  Its been a very long time since I was into purple and I was a little worried they looked like kids shoes, but they fit so off to the gym I went.

I was set to push myself and see what I had in me. Armed with all the accessories I needed, water, ear buds, music, couch to 5K app, and my new shoes.  I felt determined and as the warm up began, I even gave myself a little pep-talk.

The workout was going great!  I was following the prompts on the app and I remained focused.  I could feel myself getting to a point when I was going to have to dig my heels in and push through.  I began to feel a little uneasy, it was harder to breathe and all of a sudden I felt transported back in time.  I saw myself standing in front of a mirror and not liking the reflection.  I had flashbacks of opening presents that contained fitness videos and meal replacement shakes. I was being asked to say “moo” rather than “cheese” while having my photo taken.  My self-assurance was being depleted with each step.  I wanted to slump off the machine and just call it a day.  I was in the midst of a PTSD flashback.

During this time I was brought back to the last time I was working this hard and it was just before my divorce.  I had participated in an infomercial. My goal was to get skinny for my husband, feel better for my family and improve my overall health.  I accomplished more in a 12 week span that I ever thought I would.  I ran, I hiked, I swam, I exercised through injuries and I succeeded.  I was at the top of my game! I was fit, I felt powerful, and for the first time in my life I had confidence.  Fast forward two weeks…my life is forever changed, my self-esteem tossed out the window, my confidence buried under a very heavy rock.

Mind you I’m re-living all of these memories and emotions in just a ten minute span. Alternating walking with running, trying not to cry and wondering where do I go from here?  At this point is when I looked down and saw my purple shoes in motion, I knew I had to change my focus and I thought to myself, why in the world did I buy purple shoes?

I pumped up the music and decided to finish what I had started.  Watching my purple shoes I felt excitement in knowing what I will feel like when I reach my end goal. I was reminded how I felt after I hiked the mountain.  I needed to channel the feelings I had in that moment standing at the top looking down at where I had come from and realizing what that accomplishment meant to me.  It’s a place I had been before, except this time I have a different motive, ME!  I can only imagine how I will feel  when I celebrate this triumph knowing that I am its end result.

infomercial

Wearing Purple 7 years ago….not a coincidence.  

During this process I will bring my red and blue together and I will delight in creating the purple within me.  I will allow myself to be encouraged, spiritually nourished, motivated and fully engulfed by my new signature color!  I will be PURPLE BRAVE!

Do you have a similar story of pushing yourself and wading through the mud on your journey?  Please share.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/27/16

 

Related topics/blogs

Purple, The Meanings of Purple

Personality, Color Purple

Coping with Flash Backs

Safety and Grounding Techniques for PTSD

Flex Force, Infomercial

 

 

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1 Comment

Time To Simmer


A friend of mine recently visited The Butterfly House and was  lucky enough to release some butterflies.  After taking the lid off the container she gently slid in her finger.  The butterfly perched on the tip, as she extended her hand to set it free she said “enjoy your 21 days”.

It got me thinking….Did that butterfly set out with a plan?  What will be important over the next 21 days?  Will she live out her dreams?    Imagine if we only had 21 days.  What would our plans be?  The butterfly has no idea that it only has 21 days, just as we have no idea what our life span will be.

People spend a lot of time worrying about the next day.  When we leave work we are already concerned about what our day will be like tomorrow.  Children leaving school worry about tests the next day.  As we are driving home from work we are stressed over what traffic may be like.   Then there are the evening worries…will I get everything done so I can get a decent nights sleep and wake up and do it all over again?  That is life for most of us.  Are we making the most out of our lives?

If the butterfly worried day after day about what was going to happen next she wouldn’t have much of a life in that short 21 day span.  All of the strength she gained while in the cocoon would be wasted.  Instead, she set’s out on a course of discovery.  Fluttering around from flower to flower, embracing her life and the time she has.  Imagine what could happen if we embraced life.

I’m not one to talk, I’ve spent a lot of my life in the worry stage, but I”m also realizing that I am much happier if I make the choice to embrace life rather than worry about it.  Recently I was stuck on the side of the highway with a flat tire.  A natural response for most after hearing the POP is to immediately get angry.  I heard the sound, looked up and noticed how blue the sky was; sun was shining; it was a beautiful day…I chose to embrace it.  After calling work; calling for roadside assistance; I rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof and enjoyed looking up at the brilliantly blue sky.  I had 40 minutes to enjoy.  I was also blessed with an hour and a half walk around town while waiting for the tire to be fixed.  My responses set the course for the rest of my day.  Anger would’ve turned to stress, which would’ve brought on physical symptoms and so on.

Living life as if we only had 21 days could be kind of exciting!  It forces one to make the best of every moment no matter if it’s a good or bad one.  The bad days are the ones that make us stronger.  When I told a friend about my flat tire experience the first reaction was negative, she was upset for me!  I just smiled because I knew I had made the best of that incident.  I know it sounds silly, but I did feel like I gained just a little more strength that day.

It was a start to conditioning myself to see the good in the bad.  Yes I had a flat, but I also had time to enjoy the nice day that I never would have allowed myself.  I was given a few hours to simmer.

It takes 21 days for a butterfly to soar to the greatest heights it can.  In that short time the glasswing carries up to 40 times it’s weight and is the strongest, but most delicate, of the species.  What do we need to do to be the strongest we can be?  Similarly for us it takes 21 days to change or create a habit.  Kind of like we get a chance to reboot if we are stuck in a bad habit or strengthen by creating a positive one.  

I’ve begun my reboot and I’m confident that once I’m past my 21 days, I will have more strength to soar to the next.   Life’s obstacles are just stepping-stones of strength that will carry us on to another bad day.

How will you spend your next 21 days?……..Comment below on how you have  changed.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/16/12

 

Related Articles/Blogs:

Day one of 21 days

21 days to health eating habits

How to remain positive in adverse situations

Smile feel happy

Positivity Challenge