If you’re the parent of a prodigal…don’t give up!


prodigalDriving home from work yesterday, I flipped over to a  radio station on impulse and the phrase being spoken, which still echoes in my heart, was “If you’re the parent of a prodigal, don’t give up”. Having missed more than half the broadcast, I was hesitant to continue, worried I would not get the gist of what the intended focus was to be.  My heart, on the other hand was leading me in the direction of staying, listening and learning.

Families are complex in themselves, but when a severe trauma is thrown into the mix the possibilities for destruction of the family unit are endless, and the risk of a lost sheep is inevitable.   I have found myself on many sides of this unfortunate equation, from being directly involved to a concerned friend looking on from a distance, and no matter how the stories develop or what the reasons are, the pain and struggle are real and should be considered an extreme loss.

In the parable of the Prodigal (Luke 15:11-32), the focus was the mans son, but who is to say that in our lives, the prodigal can’t also be a spouse, another family member, or even a friend; any Child of God, who has separated themselves from family, those they love, and our loving God.

I have always been impressed with the father in the parable and his commitment to waiting with complete love and respect in his heart for his son’s return.  I believe it is his faith that gives him the strength to do so.  It is his faith, which allows him to welcome his son back into his life with no questions asked; and it is through the need for compassion, they are reunited.

Remaining on the radio station and listening to the last five minutes of the broadcast, meant the world to me.  First, it reminded me that no one is alone in suffering, not only are we held in God’s embrace, there are other’s going through similar circumstances.  Secondly, strained relationships are far more prevalent than ever before and it is a fast growing concern for any family, broken or not.  And lastly, I learned that it is OK to be in a state of unrest, frustration, sadness, and despair when grieving the loss of a prodigal as long as we know what to do with those emotions.

One of the callers on the broadcast suggested simply praying “Help me God”.  Other suggestions are “Heal his/her heart”, or “Please love them as I love them”.

Prayer, an intimate conversation with God, can be a replacement for picking up the phone and setting yourself up for the rejection that is most likely on the other end.  When that urge hits to reach out to your prodigal and you are not sure if it is the right thing to do…pray and let God lead.

In the meantime, if you need to fill an empty space, imagine that all of the energy which goes into the worry, frustration, and sadness, will, in God’s time, be transformed into a beautiful reunion, filled with compassion, love, understanding, and the blessings of God.

For anyone suffering from this loss, please know that you are being lifted in prayer by all others who are waiting, wondering and hoping for their returning prodigal.  If you have a similar story and would like to share, please lift other’s up by commenting.

Many Blessings to All,

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

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Tears as Fuel


I’m going to begin this post by quoting song lyrics from the very popular movie Frozen.  From the song titled Let it Go:

“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I’ve tried
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know”

Only five lines but boy do they pack in meaning!  If I were to reflect back on some of the worst times of my trial, I would see many days of tears, but more so holding them back.  Most of us know as that song plays out, she let’s go and stops hiding who she really is.  But is she really being true to herself and her emotions?  If you saw the movie, then you know when this song happens, she is angry and secluded herself from family, friends and the town.  What exactly did she let go of? I think she actually let go of the very things she secluded herself from, and in that respect, she has lost people who love her.

Grieving a loss can be so complex, and it is natural for us to want to be alone, and not let anyone see how we are being affected.  Doing so, can result in much anxiety, stress, and may eventually lead to mental and physical breakdowns.  So, what are we supposed to do with our tears…I say give them to God, and allow him to use as fuel for your healing.

God is the one who holds every tear you cry in his hands.  We can “Let it go” as the song encourages, but first, we must give everything over to God and then let Him dispose of it.

silhouette and grayscale photography of man standing under the rain
Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

All of the hurt, frustration, anger, and other countless emotions that you are feeling during your loss or even healing period, let God have it all.  God’s hands will become a place of respite, which you can cry into.  Every tear that falls is blessed, kissed and held ever so tightly in His hands.

I can share with you my own experience when one day I allowed myself to cry in God’s precious hands.  I had made the decision to let my tears become my strength, and no longer allow them to bring me down.  In prayer, I laid it all in His hands and it proved to be a very freeing experience.  It won’t always be easy, some things we go through are so hard that it almost seems like the acknowledgment of them to God, is accepting the situation as something you are ok with.  That does not have to be the case!  In surrendering the circumstance, you are merely letting God know that you need his healing upon you and the issue.  It can be very helpful for your emotional well being, to place your feelings into blessed hands.

So give yourself a cry fest! Let it all go! Allowing God’s hands to hold every tear for you, and replenish you with a loving grace that will ultimately result in a happy heart.   If you have difficulty with the thought of this type of prayer, then go to a trusted friend or advisor, share your feelings, and ask them to hold your tears, while you walk in your path to healing.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences!

Psalm 107:19  “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress”

Courageous Butterfly

2/17/19

H.O.P.E.


Life happens; It is what it is; sorry for your luck; that’s too bad; you deserve better.

hope-butterfly-jane-coenenThese are just a sampling of phrases we may hear throughout and after any trial, and I’ve realized that very few and far between are phrases like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel; God is good; have faith; focus on love; listen to your heart; you’ve got this!

It is a natural tendency that when we vent, we attract a negative response.  And let’s face it, we have all vented! I don’t think it is a bad thing, as long as it is kept in context, and once it is vented, it is then released.  However, during a trial, I think what we need to hear are phrases of HOPE, the latter will just bring us down.

So my plea is for those of you who are hearers of those venting.   Lift them up! Praise them! Put yourself in their hearts feeling where they are and react accordingly.  Think about what response you would want to hear if you were the one facing the life change.  Let’s remember to remind them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that God is in fact Good.  You are loved and you will love; listening to your heart will reap many rewards and with God all things are possible.

I’ve suffered and I have found my light.  It was an extremely rough road with a lot of speed bumps and setbacks, but here I stand alive, well and blessed.  My message to you is to stay grounded in everything you believe in.  Live with HOPE in your future, dance every morning, be still with the clouds in the afternoon and gaze upon the stars at night.

We are all meant to walk the earth with someone at our side, whether for a reason, a season or a lifetime, our job is to be prepared for the walk.   For some it may be a little jaunt, for other’s a jog; it could be a hike and for many others a mountain climb. dance1

My wish for you is to enjoy the journey when it arrives, no matter how long or how hard your climb, it is well worth it.  Keep your focus, stay true to who you are, do not be afraid to love with an open heart; HOPE will find you and within it, you will find your rest.

Do you have a HOPE story to share, please respond in the comments.

Courageous Butterfly

Kimberly

9/16/18

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