I received a gift this week, it was small but meaningful. Given to me by someone who knows nothing about me only the fact that I have an obsessive collection. It could be annoying to others which makes me smile just a little. It holds purpose and keeps me on track. I felt special to have been the person to whom it was offered. Have you guessed it yet?
I will end your suspense, it was a clock. But not just an ordinary clock it is in the shape of a butterfly. Made of plastic, the clock mechanism came out which left the butterfly totally empty. An empty butterfly is not a pretty sight in my eyes. In fact when I first realized the clock came out of the shell I thought I had broken it, but the clock kept ticking so I knew it was still working. I was reminded of myself, I was broken, but kept ticking long enough to keep myself working to prepare for my flip.
So here I am, having survived several what would be anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and at the same time I have invited new friends, and relationships. I have met some very wonderful people who needed me just as much as I needed them. I have held the hands of some who needed me and others have held mine.
Some can flip a house and others can flip a soul. Both are flipping “time”. I’ve been there and have witnessed lives being changed. I have seen a crossover between faithless and the faithful when a man visits his mom for the first time at her grave in over ten years. I have felt the love of a son to his parents when being introduced at their grave sight.
Both of those instances stopped time for me. I found purpose and meaning where my 
life was at that moment. I had flipped time and I was making a difference. Everything happens for a reason, I will always believe that.
So let’s flip some time my way, I am about to embark on another journey. Making a move back to the area where I grew up. It will take some adjusting but I am confident that I will find myself pretty close to where I left off.
A young, vibrant woman holding on for love, true to herself, ready for adventure, and for the “one” to give her the ultimate flip!
Courageous Butterfly
6/1/16
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I was all set to call it a night, I leaned over to turn off the light and my body paused. I looked at the lamp and was reminded that I still carry pieces of my past with me. As I embark on yet another move, I am determined to let go of these items that have lingered in places where they really didn’t need to be.
You can’t forget life and you can’t undo what’s been done. What you can do is learn, grow and survive. I know in the coming weeks as I continue to pack I will most likely stumble across more things that I thought I had let go of. I will put on my wings and FINALLY set the items free. Lightening the load will make it much easier for me to move both physically and emotionally.
Just when you think things are getting better, it happens AGAIN! Of course, we know that is what life is all about. The ups, the downs, the happy as well as sad. I had spent an entire year preparing for something that was to have taken place last weekend, but I was struck down with the flu virus. And not just the 24 hour or even 4 day flu, it was the 7 day tied to the couch illness. One week from receiving my flu shot of course. But the flu is not the purpose for this post today, it is learning that when we are fighting a foe, patience isn’t always the easiest.
Many of the outcomes of my divorce were surprises to me and not what I had expected or anticipated, just at this past weekend. However, the divorce produced new life, new change and a chance to grow and strengthen, as well as this past weekend. I’m seeing a pattern here. Both of these instances were successes in my life and should not be seen as anything less. This time I could see it quicker and more clearly because I knew what to look for.
Today summer ends and a new season begins to take shape, some of us are ready, some are not. Looking up at the darker fall clouds I am reminded of how sometimes changing seasons in our lives can be just as cold and dark as changing weather.
…..or are they merely the beginning of something new? We have all purchased a puzzle before, it comes in a box all sealed up never before seen. Sometimes the pieces are safely inside a plastic bag and other times they are just right inside the box. It’s exciting to begin to put the pieces together and start to see the image on the cover of the box appear before us. I don’t know about you, but I cannot put any puzzle together without first looking at the image so I know where the pieces go and what it is supposed to look like when I’m finished. Puzzle pieces are fun, colorful, and exciting; so why is that when we are falling apart it is called “falling to pieces”?
I’ve noticed that while we see the beautiful butterfly, the product of all the hard work, we rarely see the caterpillar. I visited a butterfly garden this summer and the focus was on the butterflies flying around the exhibit, but I was entranced with the caterpillars in their cocoons. The time spent in the chrysalis is the toughest part of the transformation. I would guess that there would be confusion, pain, worry and fear. Sounding familiar? They are too me. Those are exactly the feelings I dealt with while surviving my divorce, or as I like to think of it, the beginning of my time spent in the chrysalis.
