Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within


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The Fire Inside Me


runningTomorrow I run!  My first 5K of the season and third all time.  I’m no Forrest Gump but I will do my best.  The path is unknown I will have to look for the route markers and stay the course.  I will need to delve deep into my energy reserves, focus on my breathing, concentrate on my surroundings, and eventually cross the finish line.   If you close your  eyes and repeat the italicized text,  I promise you can apply that to any life experience.

Being emotional in public can be awkward but when I run no one really notices.  Could be the wind or the sun in my eyes.  So why do I cry when I run?  I asked myself that same question the first time my purple shoes hit the pavement.  I answered the question as I crossed the finish line.

   Accomplishment

Reaching a goal no matter how small can be food enough to fill your soul for a lifetime.  Nearly 8 years go I had a fire lit inside me and at the time I had no idea where it was going to take me.  I did not know that it was meant to prepare me for the struggle ahead.  I didn’t have a plotted route, or even a clue of what I was about to face.  Reflecting on it now, I am certain the opportunity that was placed in my hands and lit the fire, was the gift of strength.   Something I had not yet possessed.

I have two caterpillars in little cups beginning to shed into the chrysalis.  Every day I watch their activity and I don’t have to wonder what that struggle feels like, because the human struggle is the same.  The caterpillar does not know that The path is unknown and will have to look for the route markers and stay the course;  will need to delve deep into energy reserves, focus on breathing, concentrate on surroundings, and eventually cross the finish line into complete transformation.chrysalis-wide

After the struggle, accomplishment will become its focus.  The beauty it represents will be appreciated by many and its inner light will shine bright!

I won’t be completely transformed when I cross the finish line tomorrow.  I still have many more runs to complete, each one adding fuel to my fire.

Can you compare a struggle to that of a caterpillar?  Please share in comments.

Shine your light bright!

Courageous Butterfly

Kimberly

4/8/17

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2017 Walk Up and Finish


new-year_resolutions_listI’m still trying to accomplish what I wanted for 2016 and now it is time to make another list, it seemed a bit overwhelming to me.  Looking back on my year, I lost weight, and then gained some back.  I saved some money, then spent more.  Most times life enjoyed me, and I was just along for the ride.

 

According to many sites on the internet, the top five 2016 New Year’s resolutions are:

  1. Enjoy life to the fullest 2. Live a healthier lifestyle 3. Lose weight  4. Spend more time with family and friends  5. Save more, spend less

Sounds easy enough, but tomorrow, most of us will realize we may have only carried out one or two of them.  With a  little help from family, friends and champagne we will make our list for 2017 with every intention of carrying it out.

A friend of mine sent me an idea for New Year’s Eve.  Fill a jar with 10 goals, good things you want to have happen.  In exactly one year, empty it, and see what was achieved.  My response was “OK, but I might be really pissed off in a year!”

This being the last working day of the year, I was focused on getting my mind prepared for my work day, going through my schedule step by step and only paying attention to my thoughts and the traffic.  I had about 10 minutes left on my drive when I finally relaxed my thinking enough to hear what was on the radio.  The traffic report was finally in my favor and I felt myself smile because I was NOT going to be late to work today!  I noticed a light snow begin to come down, the wind slightly increased and then a song came on and I found myself suddenly relaxed.

Have you ever heard a poem, or words from a book or movie that just feel like they are reaching into your soul and squeezing it?  The lyrics I heard this morning were like a whisper to my heart in such a way that tears were immediate.

I could attach a part of my life to each one, some good  and some bad and I felt relieved. I was comforted in the fact knowing that I get to re-set my clock this weekend.  I feel secure enough to be proud of what I have accomplished this year and at the same time courageous enough to reach for more in the coming year.

Today’s timing could not be more perfect, with the new year on the horizon, it was almost like being hit by a lightening bolt; and it brought insight to my thoughts about this past year.  Was I on track? Yes I was on MY track.  I was just where I needed to be.  I may not have accomplished every goal but I did reach some that were never set in the first place.

If I look at the top 5 again I would answer this way:

1.  Enjoy life to the fullest? Yes, I took a trip out-of-state to spend time with a woman whom I never met but who meant the world to me.
2. Live a healthier lifestyle? Yes, I joined a gym hired a personal trainer and not only ran my first 5K but two of them!
3. Lose weight? Yes, even though I put some back on, I still lost enough to motivate me to continue.
4. Spend more time with family and friends?  Yes, I was blessed to have spent three weeks with a cousin from Australia that I had never met, and I have re-kindled a friendship from my childhood.
5. Save more, spend less? Well, if making a budget and sharing expenses counts as saving then yes! As far as spending less….go back to #1 enjoying life to the fullest.breast-cancer-5k-2

What I initially thought were setbacks,this year were just nudges in a different direction bringing me closer to my best life.  For me this song is my 2017 walk up song, you know like when a baseball player is going to bat, or a runner crossing the finish line.

I will share the song with you in the hopes that it will also reach someone out there who may be looking for their song to close out 2016 and welcome 2017 with open arms.

The song is called “One Step Away” by Casting Crowns.  The verse that really called to me is below.  (click and it will take you to the entire song)

Lay down, lay down your old chains
Come now, and take up your new name
Your best life up ahead now
You’re one step away

Have a Blessed and Happy New Year!!!  Got your song ready? please share in the comments

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

12/30/16

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A Path To Contentment


waterfallcrisp A place you thought was your ending; your landing strip could possibly be your starting point; your ready–set–go!  How do you find contentment when your mind is full of doubt, fear, and concern that you are making the right choices.  I’ve been on a few bumpy and frightening paths but this one could be the most frustrating of them all.

With the last few years behind me I have a craving for contentment.  I long to have a day where I am completely relaxed and at ease with where I am, what I”m doing and where my future is heading.  I’ve been wondering lately if that is a possibility at this stage in the game.  Here I am in my 40’s trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, getting settled in yet another new residence, and looking  for my soul mate, the person I am meant to walk the earth with.

There will always be little  reminders of what I had that will pop up and  never go away,  as each day passes they will be distant memories that will always be with me; they are  part of my soul and I would not trade them for the world.  They remind me of an early time when my life was being fulfilled with being a wife and mother, and it is that feeling that I am hoping I am on a path to find.  We don’t know what lies ahead and that keeps life awfully exciting.  As I sit here tonight I never dreamed this is where I would find myself, so full of doubt and fear and a need to feel fulfilled again.  Just when I think I may be on the correct path, a wind comes and tries to carry me in another direction.  Not knowing if I am supposed to follow it or if it is meant to carry me another way is terrifying.  I tend to immediately go the direction the wind is blowing me, but then I am hit with an uneasy feeling that I was not supposed to do that.

“Being content with your own decision-making is by far one of the most complicated virtues one can possess.”

The feeling of being at ease and genuine feelings of gladness seem like dimmed stars that I am trying to reach and make bright again.  I am walking a path toward them in hopes I will be able to reach up and illuminate them by filling my heart, mind and soul with peace.  It would be really nice if God gave us path markers so we knew that we were going the right way.  I guess when the feelings of fear and sadness creep in, it may be time to change directions.  However, what if we are supposed to conquer those feelings in order to be made stronger for the path that lies ahead?

I certainly can attest to the fact that going through trials makes you stronger and sometimes we are supposed to go through them.  I just hoped that my quest for contentment would be a little easier.    Some days are great and I’m excited to be able to start again, make new dreams, and go where the wind blows.  Other days there are only one set of footprints in the sand, because God is carrying me.  I know he is with me tonight as I write this in hopes of helping others, only a moment ago my son handed me a treasure he found in the attic of my new home….a pin of Our Mother Mary, with the words,  Child of Mary.  We are not alone!  We have our angels right along with us if not to guide us then to provide comfort along the way.

footprints

Somewhere on my path is a beautiful day with the stars as bright as can be, butterflies surrounding a crisp blue waterfall and I will take a moment to be still and know.  There will come a day when I am content with who I am and where I am,  until then I will be content in knowing that God has me right where he wants me and that Serenity awaits……..

 

How do you know when your content?  Please share in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

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