I was all set to call it a night, I leaned over to turn off the light and my body paused. I looked at the lamp and was reminded that I still carry pieces of my past with me. As I embark on yet another move, I am determined to let go of these items that have lingered in places where they really didn’t need to be.
Take for instance the lamp…which I made from a wine bottle…that was given to me by my ex. I have moved three times since my divorce and apparently this lamp has made the trip. Why is it still at my bedside?
I sat down at my vanity earlier today to begin to clean out the drawers and found an old wallet. I pulled out old business cards and in the middle I found a photo probably 15 years old or more of the two of us on a New Year’s Eve…why is this photo still in this wallet?
I shopped at the grocery store today and gave the cashier my phone number for my rewards card…she repeated the name and it is still registered under my married name, why?
I received mail this week that was addressed to Mr. and Mrs…. why? The company who sent it clearly knows that I am divorced.
I am in a place in my life where I am making positive changes, and for the first time I feel like they are changes that God wants me to make. Things are moving smoothly and in a positive direction. So then why am I getting all of these little reminders of my marriage?
It’s been five years and yet every time I make a literal move I find more mementos of our life together. I thought for sure I had done a formal cleanse but items still seem to surface. This move has to be it…I no longer want to find these items that carry so much weight. I like to think that I am at peace with my circumstance. Truthfully I am, until that moment that I’m not.
You can’t forget life and you can’t undo what’s been done. What you can do is learn, grow and survive. I know in the coming weeks as I continue to pack I will most likely stumble across more things that I thought I had let go of. I will put on my wings and FINALLY set the items free. Lightening the load will make it much easier for me to move both physically and emotionally.
Soon, I will return to the area where I grew up, without the restraints of where I have been. Fueled with the power given to me by my children, friendships, experiences, and all of my scars, I will be at peace. I will be ready for yet another transformation to become the best butterfly I can be! Fly with grace, confidence and hope.
Have you flown? Have you let it all go? Are you at peace? Please share in the comments.
Tell Your Hear To Beat Again, Danny Goke