Tag: strength

Praying Through Circular Thinking

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

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“Well, I thought,” the three most dangerous words ever to enter my thinking pattern. Any word in the dictionary could follow that phrase, and I would still end up in the same place, making assumptions without all the facts.

One of the worst possible outcomes of any situation is assumed. It holds no merit because it never existed.  Oh, how my imagination loves to cook up the most unpleasant in even the best situations! To make myself feel better, I blame it on the creativity of the writer within me. In reality, it is the dangerous swirl of circular thinking that takes me down a dark winding road.

I do admit, on many occasions, this has had a negative effect not only on my mind but my overall well-being. A hazardous place to be is in a worrying state of mind, especially when one makes a habit of focusing on the same thought consistently.

Let’s make it clear that circular thinking does not include times when something needs to be mulled over or instances which require much thought before a decision is made. I am referring to those cycles when the thought patterns repeatedly make assumptions about a resulting outcome. “Maybe if I did this, then that would happen,” or “He hasn’t responded to my email, I’m sure I’ve made him angry,” and phrases of this nature.

I’m not a professional, but I believe many factors induce this thinking pattern. Societal influences, childhood memories, or having a nervous personality, to name a few. In my younger days, in high school, I developed an undeniable fear of public speaking. This was ironic because I had been part of a choir before high school. There were even times when I sang a solo. Yet, something triggered a genuine fear, a circular thinking pattern, when speaking before my peers.

The fear was so intense that I would take a zero on an assignment, not prepare, and skip the class. I had repeated visions, all made up in my mind, that whatever I was supposed to do would be a failure.  Another aspect of circular thinking is going back over something again and again. Now, it’s too late to fix my state of mind at 16. However, at my current age, I can face fear and flourish in it.

How I reacted as a young girl is a part of who I am today, and I would not change any of it. Is the fear still there? Absolutely! However, I am old enough to see it, face it and grow because of it. Over the last several years since becoming a spiritual director, I have had to laugh at where God has taken me.  Part of my ministry has evolved in speaking engagements, putting myself on video saying prayers, and having a passion for spiritual writing.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So, what do you do when God places your biggest fear repeatedly on your path? You pray through it and conquer it. It is through these events that I have learned to remove fear from my mindset, all with my mighty God!  I’m not perfect; after all, it was in the act of circular thinking that this post originated.

Thoughts of this nature are going to happen. It’s in knowing how to shut them down where faith and growth play a part. The only circular thinking I allow myself to remain is knowing that I am in God, and God is in me! That phrase is one I will never tire of repeating!  God is in me, and I am in God!

For Their Sake I Consecrate Myself: Sister Maria Bernadette of the Cross (1927–1963)

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

by Jadwiga Stabińska, OSBap

Translated by Justyna Krukowska

Originally published @ Siostry Sakramentki, Warszawa 2008

English edition @ Arouca Press 2022

Translation @ The Cenacle Press at Silverstream Priory 2022

“Cut me in strips, but let them return to You and give You glory.”                               

Sister Maria Bernadette of The Cross

I am drawn to and intrigued by the religious life and those called to it.  For Their Sake I Consecrate Myself is a remarkable reflection on the dedicated life of Sister Maria Bernadette of The Cross.

Before her monastic life, she was known by friends and family as Maria Róża Wolska. In this detailed recollection, the author takes the reader on a biographical journey focusing on family and Sister Bernadette’s desire to draw nearer to God. The historical accounts include family struggles, a love for nature, apprenticeships, and her fondness for prayerfully creating art and music.  

The author portrays Sister Bernadette’s biographical sketch in multiple photographs throughout the pages. Mountainous vacation views, her parent’s wedding photos, candid family snapshots, and Sister Bernadette’s drawings, to name a few. The images add an element of significance in taking the reader deeper into what Sister Bernadette held close to her heart.

The desires of one’s heart are precious gems. Some offer them at no cost, while most of us keep them under lock and key. Sister Bernadette lived an adventurous monastic life in which a sacrificial desire became her focus. Knowing that God was preparing her for “great graces,” she focused on the sacrifice of surrendering her will.  

In reading her story, I am convinced that there was not one element of Holiness that Sister Bernadette did not encompass. The steadfast love of God became apparent in her most official voluntary sacrifice. “Cut me in strips, but let them return to You and give You glory.”  It was through these words and an illness that would not let go that Sister Bernadette offered her Holy Sacrifice in dying for the sins of others.

Following the recollection of her sacrificial death, the author has provided what I consider to be a goldmine of Sister Bernadette’s genuine love for God.  Nuggets of inspiration adorn the pages among letters to and from family, friends, and the religious community. Many God-kissed and invaluable life lessons are shared straight from Sister Bernadette’s heart. 

“I’m not worried because that would be rude: One should always be rejoicing. It is precisely such “hopeless’ moments that can be worth something. It is better to be happy than to worry.” 

Originally published in Polish translation in 2008, in this English version, Jadwiga Stabińska sets out to shine a light through the life of Sister Bernadette and invites the reader to see her as a place in which God resides. Not forgetting to embrace the hopes of heaven and service to God in the life lived now. The conclusion of Sister Bernadette’s story left me with feelings of genuine hope in God, a glimpse of Heaven, and a yearning for a Christ-centered life.

 “Prayer can last three seconds: I beg you to say something to God every day from the bottom of your heart, even if it’s just two words or merely a glance.”   

       ~Sister Maria Bernadette of The Cross

I highly recommend you visit the website: The Cenacle Press at Silverstream Priory for more information and purchase options

May my living reveal God’s Goodness

Published on by Kimberly Novak5 Comments

Heat, humidity, and July activities are sure signs that we are in the depths of Summer! It is in July when I secretly long for the arrival of Fall, anticipating less sticky and slower days. The celebrations this time of year are always a welcome blessing, yet I can tolerate only so many hot dogs and hamburgers before I begin to crave homemade soup.

Perhaps the biggest challenge I have during this time is that I grow another year older. To change things up a bit, I gave God my birthday this year. Enjoying a Sabbath Day at my local retreat house, I devoted the day to the one who gave me life. One cannot argue with a day off work, quiet time for prayer, and even an hour spent on mindful creativity. It all sounded wonderful until I checked in, looked around, and muttered to myself, “why am I here?”.

As per usual on the sacred grounds of this place, God did not waste any time in responding as He guided me to a journal entry written in March of this year.

“Close your eyes and let yourself be carried away on the flowing current of My grace; close your eyes and do not think of the present, turning your thoughts away from the future just as you would temptation.”

Exerpt from The Surrender Novena

Settled on an outdoor bench beside a water fountain, I set my phone on silent, closed my eyes, and basked in the glorious sounds of nature. I opened my eyes only to glimpse a bird bathing in the waterfall. The water looked refreshing as the bird immersed its face and then fluttered about to cover its wings. Seemingly enjoying the water feel, yet staying only long enough to fulfill its purpose.

I figure God must have given the bird reason to stay and enjoy for that brief moment, and perhaps the same would happen to me. The sound of the water invigorates my soul, allowing me to close my eyes once more, relaxing my body and spirit.

Not having a schedule for the day felt strange. However, lunch served at a specific time helped me to stay on track. Following my silent meal, I made my way to the creativity room. Intimidated by the urge to want to create a masterpiece, I let my mind go back to the sounds of the fountain.

The peacefulness of this day was proving to be fruitful in many ways. I felt connected to God, the sacred place, and my spirituality. Then it happened. I checked my phone to see what time it was, only to glimpse a special email gift. Staring at the screen, I debated whether or not I should open it. After all, I promised myself I would not look at anything outside the present moment. The Holy Spirit then gave me a nudge as I realized I was reacting within the confines of the here and now.

Inhaling a deep breath, I clicked the email, and there it was, the final approval and release form for my novel. This retreat house, a gift unlike any other, served as the epicenter when God revealed His plan for Bella’s Beautiful Miracle. A flurry of emotions befell as I considered the length and breadth of Bella’s journey.

I hesitated only for a moment, unsure if I wanted to sign in the presence of family or bring this to fruition in the sacred space where it all began. I dove into a prayerful conversation with God, and within minutes, I printed the page, signed my name, and scanned it back to the publisher.

Breathing in the stillness of the accomplishment, years of work, and God’s influence, I was carried away on the flowing current of God’s Grace. It was only after the initial shock wore off that I realized an inscription on the pen holder upon the library desk.

“Gracious God, Thank you for the gift of today. May my living reveal your goodness.” Pat Bergen C.S.J.

I pray God will continue sending opportunities my way which reveal His Goodness and Glory! One way I know for sure is always to consider if the action, consideration, or event is pleasing to and praising God.

On a side note, that particular email was the only one that came as an alert on my phone that afternoon. A reminder to pay attention to heart nudges, as they are often gifts and insights from the Holy Spirit. 

Blessings,

Kimberly

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