I feel like I’ve been at the top of my game! Other than the fact that I am literally shrinking, life is good; kids are awesome; new job is going great; I start school in the fall; making progress on my running and actually achieving goals that I’ve set. I’ve had nothing to complain about, until my subconscious started playing games with me!
My dream world has become a place that is not user-friendly. I know that when dealing with loss, everyone heals at their own pace and that is the healthy way to do it. Measuring your progress using someone else’s ruler is never good. Trying to figure out why I’m experiencing this now, after all this time is driving me a little nuts. I’ve learned how my mind and emotions react to certain situations or circumstances, and I’ve had a pretty good handle on that…until I sleep.
How cool would it be if we could control what we dream about? First off it would be really hard to get up in the morning if we could manifest our dreams, but secondly it may hamper what our brains are trying to do for us in a recovery phase. There is no way I want to actually think about the scenario’s that my mind is creating while I sleep; so why are they being produced?
The dreams center around a big fear from my past, but intermingled with life as if they fit. Pictures are clear; faces are well known, and I awake with a familiar knot in my gut. I don’t know what the trigger is, they all have a consistent theme, which leads me to believe that I need to work out what that issue is. It might be time to dig deeper than I have ever gone before and pull out whatever splinter is still left in my wound.
Removing a splinter at times can be difficult, especially those that you feel but cannot see. I know it’s there because my dreams tell me so, but in my conscious state I don’t see it. Removing it will take a steady hand, focus, patience and being OK with a little sting. I’m not going to say that I’ve lost a step in my healing progress, because I haven’t. This is just another facet of it that I didn’t know existed.
The good news is that it is happening when I feel like I can accomplish anything! All except for the shrinking thing but that, unfortunately, is out of my control. So for now I’m small and mighty, ready to tackle anything that comes my way.
Are your dreams messing with your reality? Please comment.