Tag: broken heart

Love It Anyway

Published on by Kimberly Novak3 Comments

6a0120a4cbac3d970b0120a5ea961e970b-800wiLife is full of moments…those of happiness, sadness, joy, excitement, fear, doubt, and pure satisfaction.  We cannot choose when and where these moments will happen, they just do and we have it in our power to take each as it comes and love it anyway.

The last few months I have felt kind of lost. I thought I was still looking for what I was supposed to be when I grow up but as it turns out I am passionately happy in my current career.  I love where I work even if it is not the best paying gig on the market, I mean something to those around me.  I am appreciated, accepted, and needed.  It’s not the top of the latter, but I love it anyway.

I have the cutest apartment ever.  I don’t have to landscape, I have met friends, I am comfortable.  Rent may be high, but I love it anyway.

Family is awesome! Loving, accepting, although sometimes overbearing, critical, self-serving, overpowering, but I love it anyway.

When I think about that phrase “love it anyway” It makes me relax.  That may sound strange but if you really think about it in any situation and just apply that principle it can make a whole lot of difference.  Take for instance, a little toddler throwing food around, you accept it and love it anyway.  When my dear princess dog runs off with the T.P.  I stop to take photos because I love it anyway.

How would relationships work if we applied the “love it anyway principle”? And does it mean the same thing in a romantic relationship?  When it comes to family or our children we are easy to let things slide; can that be done when we are dating?

free-falling1I am still trying to figure all this out.  From my recent studies (living life) what I can say is that no, we cannot apply the love it anyway principle.  It is not that easy just to go where the wind blows or to accept where the wind has taken you.

In a fairy tale world we all want to live by this rule, life would be perfect if we just loved it anyway.  We can do that with the little things in life. As was proven with the toddler and the puppy.  But I don’t think it can be applied to the every day adult life.  However, I am not one to let life kick me in the ass!  I’m gonna love it anyway!

I will continue to take what is given to me and just go with the flow! I may be knocked down here and there, I may come out with a few bruises.  It’s the gold medal that will count and I have to earn it.  I may only be at a silver or bronze, but the gold is just around the corner, I can feel it.

I may not be where I thought I would be at this point in my life, but I love it anyway!

Can you say the same? I’d love your comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly 9/12/15

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God’s Plan Is Greater

The Very Best Will Come To Be

Dating Ugh’s!!

Published on by Kimberly Novak4 Comments

One day in 1984 I wrote this:

FullSizeRender (8)Dear Mom and Dad,

I have a very important question to ask you.  I”m not saying that I was, but if a guy asked me out to the show or to the mall or something like that on a weekend, would you let me go?  What I’m trying to say is I think I am old enough for you to be able to trust me with a guy.  It’s not like I’ll stay out all night.  I just think I am old enough to go out to a show or a dance with a guy, and I know I would probably have to meet him there or something cause I know you wouldn’t let him drive me.  Plus I only want to go out with a guy in the 9th or 10th grade and they can’t drive.  Do you understand what I’m trying to say?  I hope so.  Please think about it ok?

(and now here the truth comes out)

You see there is the kid he is in 10th grade and he is 15.  Well, he likes me and I like him and he asked me if I’d go out with him sometime.  I told him I didn’t know.  (I knew I would have to talk to you about it first before I gave him an answer)  He is real nice and is good in school and he is in choir too.

Well, just do me a favor and PLEASE think about it.  PLEASE!!!!!!

Gotta Go Love,

Kim

OK, so the reason I am sharing this comical note is because I kind of wish I could do that again now!  However, at the age of 45 I think my parent’s would finally commit me.  On the other hand, my mom may actually enjoy it!  LOL

Kidding aside, if you have ventured out into the dating world following divorce, then you know just how hard it can be.  I was very blessed to be in a relationship for 6 months with a wonderful man.  One day I was told by a friend that  I was being hypocritical of my post that said I would never settle. (click here to read)

I found myself being very comfortable in the relationship and no matter what, during those months I was genuinely happy.  What I wasn’t seeing was that my happiness was based on the fact that I had someone in my life, not necessarily that he was right for me.

Do I have regrets? No way!! I made a new friend and at the same time I learned a lot about myself.  I learned what I will accept in a relationship and what I absolutely will not!  I really got to know myself while I was busy trying to get to know him.  It really surprised me how much I grew while I was dating him.  I also see now what I lost, things I stopped doing that I never should have and I am very excited to do those things again

The lesson I learned, is no matter who I am dating, I should NEVER let go of who I am.  I should CONTINUE to do the things that I want to do!!  Hopefully someday I’ll find someone who also shares in those same things.

So back to the note written to mom and dad.  What can I take from that now reading it 31 years later?  Well, if I”m being honest the qualities of the guy that I pointed out to my parents were what I thought they would approve of.  So the real question here is: What do I approve of?

Have you had similar experiences in dating following a divorce?  Please share.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/30/15

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Free to Love

Published on by Kimberly Novak1 Comment

I’m going to go out of the box on this one. I need you to use your imagination and have an open mind.

“Take a moment and think about what happens if you take a broken heart and mend it with a caterpillar in the center.

Now I want you to add gentle swirls coming off the caterpillar and filing the heart. These will represent your struggles, losses and fears.

Take a moment and really look at the image, notice the strength of your swirls, and focus on the center of your heart. Those hurts and broken dreams are what has made you whole again. By allowing yourself to feel the pain and bring it to the surface, you have begun to heal your heart.”

I’ve attended a women’s retreat this weekend most of which was silent. The past 30 hours or so have been filled with many soul searching moments but most of all I have figured out that I have come full circle since beginning my journey four years ago.

The pivotal moment came for me today while prayer walking outdoors on a beautiful sacred campus. After walking I took a pen to paper and began to draw what I was feeling. Not in words but in an image. Before I knew it I had filled my heart with the love and passion of the butterfly. It was at this moment that I was ready to fully give it all up, let it go and make my heart free to love again.

Saying it felt amazing is an understatement!! Especially when I got a good look at my drawing, it really made sense to me.

My heart now has wings and is free to fly. I trust there are bigger and better things ahead and I am now fully open to experience them.

If you can I highly recommend a short quiet time, actual silence and just be with your thoughts. Then when you ready, take a pencil to paper and let it go. You may be amazed by what you have created!!!

I welcome your thoughts. Have you doodled your feelings?

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

3/7/15

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