Out of the Chrysalis

I have to be honest and let you know that I cannot take credit for the title of this post.  A very wise woman said it just the other day and I’ve heard her say it very often.  Today I found myself repeating it to someone else so I thought I should pass it along to you.

I’m sure we’ve all had an experience where someone was in our lives one minute and then gone the next.   Sometimes it can be a mutual decision but most times it is not and someone ends up hurting and wondering why?  I thought about that a lot during my divorce.  I wanted an answer to why my ex was in my life for so long and then one day just gone!

I never thought I’d get an answer to that question.  To quote the wise woman “People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime”.  At first I didn’t get it, but then I started to think back to some of the people I had met in my life and I could actually place them in one of those three categories.

A Reason would be someone who was in your life briefly with an outcome.  For example say you’re struggling with trying to find a new dentist and you’re in line at the bank and overhear the person in front of you saying they love their dentist.  You strike up a conversation and before you know it you have a business card in hand for your new dentist.  That person in line with you was placed in your life for a reason.  A reason could also be someone who you met and had a friendship with for a short period of time and then the friendship just fizzled out.  If you think back on it now you will discover what the reason was that you became friends in the first place.

A season would be someone who was in your life for a longer period of time but you do not have any ties to that person that would put them with you for a lifetime.  Maybe someone you dated for a few years or the good friend you had during college.   This person would be in your life for more than just a trip to the dentist but may only last for a minimal amount of time.

A lifetime is pretty self-explanatory right?  Nope! Not at all!  See when she first told me about this I immediately assumed that since I was divorced my ex would’ve been someone who was in my life for a season.   After all we would not be spending the rest of our lives together.  I took some time to reflect on what she said and I realized that my relationship with him will be a lifetime.  Even though we are not walking hand in hand we shared over 20 years together, those memories will last a lifetime.  More importantly though are the kids.  Our kids will keep us connected for the rest of our lives.  Whether I like it or not this man will be in my life for a lifetime.  I was actually comforted by this realization because I no longer have to wonder why.

If you’re wondering about some of your past relationships or friendships take a few minutes and try to apply this principle you may also have a moment of comfort as I did.

Hopefully I’ve explained that well, I’d love your comments.

Courageous Butterfly

2/8/12

We all carry around extra baggage in our lives.  This can be in the form of external baggage as in being overweight, taking on too much at once, or being around negative influences.    We also carry around internal baggage such as stress, worry, fear, loss, guilt, low self-esteem or hanging onto being hurt by someone or something.

So  how and when do we know  it is time for us to “lighten the load” and begin to rid ourselves of the extra baggage we are carrying?  I think an important step would be to learn to trust your feelings.  If  someone or something is dragging you down then it’s time to take a good look at the relationship or situation.  If it is causing a negative affect in your life you will need to do something about it.  This can be hard for some of us especially if you are not confident in yourself to move on without the baggage that you have been holding on to. When we get used to something in our lives we cling to it.  Even if it’s negative, there is a comfort in knowing it will always be there.    I’m being vague here because there are so many things that the baggage could be.  It could be  a negative person in your life, a negative lifestyle, a loss, a fear, or general feelings of worry and stress.  This list goes on.  No matter what your “load” may be it’s important for you to learn how to live without it if you are going to move in a positive direction towards your transformation.

If we continue to carry around this negative load  it can take a toll on us not only emotionally but also physically.  Some develop ulcers, others have a rise in blood pressure and there are many other health signs that we are carrying a load that is too heavy.  So how do we begin to lighten the load?   Well first we need to look and see what is in our immediate control.  I would probably say any external baggage is within our power to change.  It will all take work, diet is not easy, job changes are stressful, but in the long run will in turn make your life better.  The internal baggage will be more complicated and finding a place to start may require some reflection on your part.

During my reflection one day the Serenity Prayer came to mind:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Serenity is peacefulness, calm, tranquility, quietness and stillness.  If you are in a position where you cannot control when or how you dump your baggage keep those words in your mind.  Focus on the stillness of a pleasant moment or the peacefulness you will feel when you have found the courage to make the changes that you can; the calmness you will carry around when you have discovered the wisdom to know the difference.   These word’s can  help to bring you to a point of acceptance, courage and wisdom to continue to move you towards a positive change.

Courageous Butterfly

2/7/12

 

I stumbled upon this tonight when I was playing around in google and I was amazed!  It’s a butterfly hatching from a chrysalis and it’s in HD!

We have been talking a lot about struggles and how the caterpillar struggled to finally break free of the chrysalis.  Well watching this video really shows you how hard the caterpillar worked to be reborn into the world!  The chrysalis is translucent so it looks like it would be easy to break free from but it clearly is not.   When I first looked at the video I expected it to break free all at once, I had no idea how hard it was.  Sometimes people around us may be thinking the same thing about our struggle.  To outsiders it may look like we should be healing quicker or getting through our struggles faster.  But they are not in your cocoon so how could they know the work you have ahead of you.

Also notice once it does finally break free it clings to the cocoon.  It is still struggling with leaving that comfortable place and completing the transformation before it finally spreads open it’s wings to move forward.

Watching this video really makes you stop and think and it may help you to put things into perspective.  Yes you will have struggles but you will get through them eventually and once you are free you may have difficulty moving forward but eventually you will and your transformation will be complete.

The only downside is I wish this video had some soft music to go with it you’ll just have to imagine!  Enjoy!

Courageous Butterfly

2/2/12