I have to be honest and let you know that I cannot take credit for the title of this post.  A very wise woman said it just the other day and I’ve heard her say it very often.  Today I found myself repeating it to someone else so I thought I should pass it along to you.

I’m sure we’ve all had an experience where someone was in our lives one minute and then gone the next.   Sometimes it can be a mutual decision but most times it is not and someone ends up hurting and wondering why?  I thought about that a lot during my divorce.  I wanted an answer to why my ex was in my life for so long and then one day just gone!

I never thought I’d get an answer to that question.  To quote the wise woman “People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime”.  At first I didn’t get it, but then I started to think back to some of the people I had met in my life and I could actually place them in one of those three categories.

A Reason would be someone who was in your life briefly with an outcome.  For example say you’re struggling with trying to find a new dentist and you’re in line at the bank and overhear the person in front of you saying they love their dentist.  You strike up a conversation and before you know it you have a business card in hand for your new dentist.  That person in line with you was placed in your life for a reason.  A reason could also be someone who you met and had a friendship with for a short period of time and then the friendship just fizzled out.  If you think back on it now you will discover what the reason was that you became friends in the first place.

A season would be someone who was in your life for a longer period of time but you do not have any ties to that person that would put them with you for a lifetime.  Maybe someone you dated for a few years or the good friend you had during college.   This person would be in your life for more than just a trip to the dentist but may only last for a minimal amount of time.

A lifetime is pretty self-explanatory right?  Nope! Not at all!  See when she first told me about this I immediately assumed that since I was divorced my ex would’ve been someone who was in my life for a season.   After all we would not be spending the rest of our lives together.  I took some time to reflect on what she said and I realized that my relationship with him will be a lifetime.  Even though we are not walking hand in hand we shared over 20 years together, those memories will last a lifetime.  More importantly though are the kids.  Our kids will keep us connected for the rest of our lives.  Whether I like it or not this man will be in my life for a lifetime.  I was actually comforted by this realization because I no longer have to wonder why.

If you’re wondering about some of your past relationships or friendships take a few minutes and try to apply this principle you may also have a moment of comfort as I did.

Hopefully I’ve explained that well, I’d love your comments.

Courageous Butterfly

2/8/12