The….TICK…TICK…TICK……of the Clock.


timer-digital-clockNO! That is not my biological clock ticking, it is the constant pounding sound of the love clock which is buried deep within me somewhere.  Sometimes it is extremely loud and other times I can’t even hear it, but I know it is there, I’m just not so sure if I should be watching it or just let time run its course.

TICK….TICK….TICK…annoying isn’t it?

I am CERTAINLY not an expert on relationships and I hope that I never will be, life without that mystery would be really boring!  I watched a movie last night called the Timer, and it really got me thinking….sometimes good, sometimes not so good….but I decided to keep that thinking going and after a while it kind of made some sense.  My last post talked about finding our soul mate, is it possible?  Perhaps….Can we be patient?  Most of us would say no…we want to know right now if we have found that ONE.

The timer in the movie is a clock that was implanted in the arms of someone over the age of 14.  They all started with a zeroed out clock, at some point the clock starts working and gives you a count down of when you will meet your soul mate.  When two souls that are meant for each other meet, their clocks simultaneously zero out again,  Most people succumb to the pressure of needing that clock, constantly watching it to see when and where they will meet the love of their lives, while other’s protest it and only look for those who are timer-less. Some even go as far as having it removed because they can’t handle the fact it has been zero for so long and they are sure they don’t have a soul mate out there.

At first I found the movie a bit off the wall, but it started to feel so real to me after a while.  There was a period of time when the lead thought she had found her soul  mate in a timer-free man even though he had not started the count down on hers, but it didn’t stop her from just living in the moment all the while thinking she was falling in love with him.

She thought she was happy and went to have her timer removed believing she had met her soul mate and that the timers were a farce.  Just as they were reaching out for her arm to do the removal her clock started counting down.  Now she was faced with a choice…..ignore it and stay happy with whom she had found, or have faith in the clock and wait it out for her ONE to find her.  THAT was  the moment it all became real for me!

So many people go through there lives knowing that they have their one and only, I was pretty sure I had in my ex, but then there are those who continue to wander aimlessly looking, hoping, praying, and unfortunately settling.  Not to say that settling is all that bad, as I learned in the movie she was pretty darn happy with the timer-less love, but her soul wasn’t, and the sound of that inner clock beating on her heart was a constant reminder that she needed to wait out her clock.

Happy ending of course, as the two soul mates came together their eyes locked and both timer’s zeroed out, however it was a movie.  So can this really happen, not having timer’s shoved into our arms, but can we really meet the one whom we are destined to be with and when we do will we KNOW we have found them?  fuse

I am feeling mighty faithful this morning and I am more than ready to go ahead and keep listening to my inner timer even though at times that clicking sound may seem like nails on a chalkboard, it will stop someday and then I’LL know.  My fuse is lit and I will not douse it on my own, I will wait when the time is right it will put itself out.

Do not give up my fellow singles, that someone is out there listening to their clock and when the time is right you will both zero out together.

Can you hear your clock? Will you have the patience to wait for the real deal?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

2/15/15

Related links/posts

One, Ed Sheeran

True Love, My Thoughts, My World, My Blog

Settling, Life After HerAffairs

Imagine……YOUR Change!


life is artI’m here!! It’s finally happened I have climbed an unimaginable hurdle and guess what? I survived!  Though the bumps and bruises along the way have left some scars, I feel like I am ready to embrace my change.  For so long I have wanted to make it all go away, there had to be a way I could go through it without actually living it.

Unfortunately I never found out how to do that.  The road was long and there were many times I wanted to just give up.  Today I sit in my new space with fresh walls that will hold only new memories for me and I am a very happy Butterfly!

It has been very strange since I moved, things are actually happening without a struggle.  The old saying “everything is falling into place” is really happening.  The last few weeks I have caught myself not wanting to get too excited thinking maybe I would jinx something.  If I were to do that though, I would miss out on a lot of new-found happiness.  My surroundings are beautiful, peaceful and a great place for new beginnings.  This weekend I spent decorating and boy did I put my heart into the energy and created what I think are some beautiful rooms.  It’s amazing that one little $2.00 purchase would get the creative juices going and an entire theme room took shape.   I took something that by itself was plain and simple, added a little glitz and created something spectacular.

I am a very lucky lady today, I have been given a chance to embrace my change and imagine all the possibilities of the future.  Just a few years ago I never would have given any of that a second thought.  I was stuck in the event that was forcing unwanted change and thought for sure that is where I would forever be.

My new assignment is to learn how to really take it all in without worry or stress.  I know the practice of living in the moment takes a lot of discipline but I am willing to give it one heck of a try.  Living day-to-day without stressing over something whether it be big or small is just what the doctor ordered.  I am Learning how to imagine a future where I can be happy. Anything_Is_Possible

Within these new plain walls, I have begun to create a canvas of hope.  Something I never thought would come, but will forever be a welcome guest in my new home.

Did you know when you were ready to imagine your change, your future?  Please comment.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/21/14

Related Links/Blogs

For The First Time In Forever, Frozen

Your Mind Is A Canvas

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Turn Signal… It’s time For A New Journey


195362657 (2)“Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again” are the lyrics that have been burning through me over the last few weeks.  I’ve been grappling with decisions on where to plant my feet and start my new beginning and making those choices has been crazy. I’ve had to think through so much  in the last few years that I just could not do this last one, even though it was possibly the most important.  I couldn’t do it.  Each time I thought I knew what I wanted I would change my mind again.  I was going in complete circles and not ending up where I knew I needed to be, but did I really know where that was?

This is another situation where I may have looked to be strong and handling everything ok, but inside it wasn’t happening.  There was a time in my marriage when I had my doubts and suspicions and I chose not to act on them and when I did, those concerns were belittled and brushed aside.  The past four years I have been reliving that memory on a daily basis, it is my route home, and each time I take it I see it clear as day.

We had left the same time that fall day, the kids and I headed out and he to work.  His car moved ahead of mine and got a couple of car lengths ahead but I could still see it.  I looked up and saw I was being stopped by the red light and followed his car with my eyes as he ventured forward.  Just as the light turned green I saw it….the turn signal, he was making a left even though he should have been going straight.  I had driven that path before certain that I would see what I thought in my heart was happening, but never did.  I had a choice to make and having my children in the car I chose to go on with our day and question it later.  

I’ve never forgotten that moment, each day when I hit that left signal to return home I see it happening again, only this time I am the one going to that destination and I have no idea how or why I chose to end up here.  For some reason since I got the news the house has sold and I”ll soon be free to make my new beginning that flashback is even more clear to me.  I don’t know if that memory was holding me back from making the decision on where I want to start over but I know my heart needs to make a clean break.

Over the past two days I have finally made my choice and it is to take that leap.  I can’t stay a prisoner in this town and relive all those moments over and over again.  I have found  a place that makes me smile, it’s pretty and shiny and happy!!  A little pricey but hey, it’s well worth it.  The emotions I have right now are unremarkable, just knowing that I will not have to drive that path again and see that left turn signal, instead I will be going straight on my new path, not looking back and free.  dreamer

I have no idea what is in store for me but I know I will be comfortable and happy, and maybe will even be able to find out who I am.  I know it’s a cliché to say you have to find yourself, but it’s true.  When you have been through a loss and a trauma that turns your world inside out, it transforms you into someone you never thought you would be.  I need to find Kimberly, get to know her and together she and I will embark on this new journey.

Is there a memory that is holding you back?  Please share.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/10/14

Related topics/blogs

Tell Your Heart To Beat Again, Danny Goke

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