Tag: motivational

Trusting Intuition

Published on by Kimberly Novak3 Comments

This could possibly be one of the most difficult topics I”ve written on in a while.  As a survivor of divorce I will be the first to admit that trusting my intuition is something I had never done.  I was quick to assume that my doubt or feelings of worry were all in my head.  Most times what I was concerned about was something those around me had no idea was going on.  For the few that I had confided in there was no concrete proof.   I made the decision to look my intuition in the eye and just shake my head in wonder.

Since the divorce I have gone through a lot of emotional changes but this one I was unaware of until recently.  This past weekend my intuition paid a visit.  I was very surprised when it had arrived, as I had resolved a long time ago that our relationship had ended.  I was faced with a dilemma and instead of shying away from the feelings that were invading my gut I chose to act on them.  In doing so I was able to find the proof I needed to ease my wonder and solved the case!

I had a brief moment of fear creep in when I was going through all of the possibilities of what may or may not have transpired.  The most important of all of those feelings was that they were the SAME feelings I felt all those times in my  marriage when my intuition was trying to tell me something.   I even had the sickness in my stomach, which surprised me because the weekend event itself was not that upsetting.  It was not something I would hope would happen, but it was not life changing.  I’m glad though that I was able to have a mild reason to be able to learn to trust my intuition again.  This way the next time I am faced with something more serious, I will be more than ready.

I was happy, confident, and even gloated just a little bit.  I felt like I could really begin a new relationship with myself, my emotions, and what goes on in my silly little mind.  I had proven to myself that if I just take the time to think  and act on my feelings I can get to the bottom of things.

Then a switch was flipped.  As I stated this instance was an easy one.  The outcome that I was trusting in was not life changing like the divorce was.  I started to question whether or not I could trust my intuition if the stakes were higher.  We don’t know how we are going to react to any given situation.  If we can’t trust our own thoughts or feelings then I believe we won’t have trust in anyone or anything.  All situations come with doubt, even the good ones.  Deciphering between a feeling of doubt and an uneasy feeling is the hard part.

If something is making you uneasy then it is probably a good idea to get to the bottom of it.  Those uneasy feelings will only lead to more serious conditions.  Here is my take on it.  Feelings of doubt usually will go away after some consideration, advice gathering, reflection and prayer.  When  you are uneasy about something and your body is screaming at you, it is probably a good idea to listen to it.  If you immediately know the answer without having to guess; you have that feeling that you are correct;  something is pulling at your gut telling you this is how it is.  These are the times when you trust your intuition, your mind, and your body.

Trusting in what your body is telling you about the situation is not an easy task.  It will take practice, but most of all it will take a willingness on your part to face the outcome, good or bad.   A natural reaction in these situations is to ignore it.  We like to tell ourselves it will all work itself out. I have found there is a downside to that.  I spent many years telling myself those exact words instead of listening to my gut, and in turn had more difficulty when it did come time to face it.

This past weekend was a gentle reminder of what I am capable of when it comes to trusting in myself.  Just a day or so after this revelation I am faced with yet another circumstance this one is proving to be more challenging.  I have faith in myself that I will once again be able to trust my intuition and act accordingly.

During a significant life changing event we sometimes lose sight of the fact that we are really in tune with our emotions.  Sometimes we just need a little nudge to get us restarted again.  Is there a time when your intuition was screaming at you?  Please leave a comment.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/5/12

 

 

Unfortunate Events

Published on by Kimberly Novak3 Comments

Anyone remember the book series?  A series of unfortunate events.  It was a very popular book series when my boys were younger.  My oldest read them on his own then I read them with the younger two.  We all really enjoyed the series until the movie came out.  Sadly, it was not as good as the books and we were all very disappointed.   Sorry Jim Carey.   Each book focused on an unfortunate event that led to a bigger one and then a bigger one and on an on.  Eventually it got to a point where an important decision had to be made.

What exactly is an event?  The dictionary says it is a significant occurrence or happening.  Which means that most of what we go through in life is an event.  Even the little things are significant in our lives.  So what happens when we have a series of negative or unfortunate events?

I’ve had my fair share of big, medium, small, extra-large, extra small, and double extra-large size unfortunate events unfold over the past few years.  I’ve struggled through them with friends, counseling and making changes in my life.  I’ve been moving in a positive direction with my job, friends, and even dating.  Things were going so well until………..Another unfortunate event.

I fell……fell how?  Lost my balance and hit the pavement.  People fall all the time, why is this a significant event in my life?  It’s forced me to ask myself why the fall?  why now?  Why in the midst of my happiness am I being forced to STOP, REST, and THINK?

Anyone see the movie City of Angels?    The angel falls so that he can be human and enjoy all of the senses we do.  He falls so he can smell, taste,  touch, and be able to love.  What a silly angel!  He quickly learns just how painful life can be when we are able to use all of those senses.

During the series of my unfortunate events I’m sure I’ve missed out on a few things.  I have let my emotions get the best of me sometimes and didn’t allow myself to fully enjoy my surroundings.  Even with the divorce aside my life has still been stressful. Trying to adjust to my new lifestyle, living away from the kids, the new job (s), and learning how to be close to someone again.  I’ve adapted to it all but have I really let it all sink in?

If I were to analyze this past week, I’d say my fall is a really good reason to stop and smell the roses.  I need to take a minute and a big deep breath to see if I am where I really need to be.  Now that I’m past the divorce, and somewhat comfortable in my surroundings, it’s time to reflect on the decisions I’ve made.  I no longer have to make any decisions based on what I’m going through.  That is all behind me and I need to focus on the future.    First step is to determine if the fall is in any way related to my other health concerns.  Secondly is to embrace the resting time to really reflect on where I am heading and what makes me happy.

So, was the angel really silly to fall?  I’d say no!  Even though I’ve been through hell and back and have fallen yet again it has made me realize that I was missing out on some of those senses.  I need to close my eyes and really taste the pear, smell the oranges, and feel the fruit in my mouth.  (if you saw the movie you will get that, if not rent the movie!)

I guess the point I”m trying to make is that when you fall no matter what the circumstances are, take the time to really figure out what you are supposed to be doing during your down time.  There is a reason we fall be it just in a slump for a while, fall in love, fall out of love, or literally hit the pavement.  It is a moment in time that will lead to our next event.

I have two to three weeks to embrace my fall and reflect on where I am and why.  I cannot wait to see where I am headed!  I’d love to hear your experiences on how a fall or unfortunate event changed something in your life. Comment below.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/30/12

 

Life Happens….

Published on by Kimberly Novak8 Comments

I want to start off this post with a heart-felt apology.  I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post.  I feel like I have disappointed my readers, followers and friends who check on a regular basis to read what I have to say.  It has not been from a lack of interest that is for sure, I have been caught up in the happenings of life.  Not only have I let you down but I have also broken the number one rule of blogging, post regularly!  One other order of business before we get to today’s topic.  The eBook is still happening, though it’s a slower process than I had first anticipated. Who knew it would be so complicated to self publish your own online book?  I will continue to keep you updated on the progress, and I thank you for your patience.

Life and stress all seem to continue no matter what we are dealing with emotionally.  I have found this out most recently.  I like to think of it as Life Happens, instead of the more popular Shit Happens. (pardon my french)  Wouldn’t it be nice if when dealing with emotional stress, grief, loss, and worry we were placed into a quiet space until those troubles resolved themselves?  I’ve pictured my setting many times.  The room would be cream and soft blue with pale yellow window coverings.  It would look over a brook complete with a waterfall.  I’d spend mornings on the veranda with herbal tea, a rocking chair and a soft blanket draped across my lap reading an inspirational novel.  Afternoon walks along the brook would serve to be relaxing and bring calm to my spirit.  My day would end with a light massage, red wine, smells of lavender and honey, while sounds of the ocean play until I drift off to sleep.

Hello….Hello…..Back to reality!!!!!  In the real world we have to learn how to function in our daily lives along with the emotional issues we carry with us.  Our lives do not have a hold button and reality is not the scene I described earlier.  Figuring out how to get through our day and live with our stress is not an easy task.  For starters you need to acknowledge what it is that is causing it.  Once you have your finger on the trigger, then putting a plan in place will be easier.  

For me recently my stress triggers have been my health issues, weight gain, finances, and sale of a property (or lack of sale).   Some of those I have no control over, my job is to work on the ones that I do.  I have begun to implement a plan and all I can do is take one day at a time and focus on the important aspects of each day as it happens.  Looking behind or into the future will only add more stress to the pot.  The key is to remember to live life looking through the windshield, see only what is right in front of you at the present moment.

After you acknowledge what your triggers are and you have your plan in action the next and probably most important step is to just let life continue to happen.  Try not to live in the past, live in the moment of each day.  Try by saying an affirmation everyday when you get out of bed.  Some examples are :  I choose to see each obstacle as an opportunity to grow; I choose to be happy; I approve of myself; I am proud of myself; I light the world with my smile.  Just today I found a perfect song for daily affirmations, it helped to inspire this topic.  It’s called Good Morning by Mandisa.  I will attach the link at the bottom of the post.   The daily affirmations will become a habit once you start doing them.  It may be easier for you to leave reminders around the house.  Write one on a mirror, leave one on the fridge, in your car, etc.

So to review, we know life happens and unfortunately we cannot retreat to our happy place until what we are going through is over.  In order to move through life and the situation in a positive manner it is important to first find your stress trigger, secondly chart out a plan of action to live each day while dealing with the stress, and lastly remind yourself with daily affirmations that you will get through it.  Also, you can find a way to bring yourself to your happy place.  I have found a wonderful tool called guided imagery and I pick recordings or scripts that describe the happy setting that I see in my mind.  I listen to it at night in order to calm myself for sleep and it has really been helpful.  Simply Google Guided Imagery and a plethora of information will be at your fingertips.

My plan is to listen to this song every day before I even step out of bed!  What are your tips for daily affirmations?  Respond in the comments.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4Sj6TmSG4w&feature=related

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

8/22/12