Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within

Sink or Swim

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Sometimes we find ourselves at a point in our lives when we are faced with the option to either Sink or Swim.   We’ve all heard people say “I always have bad luck”, or “nothing ever seems to go right for me”.  The truth is they may be correct.  Something may have happened in their lives to bring them to the place where they are today.  It would’ve been a job loss, divorce, or the end of a relationship, or any major life changing event.   This event may have placed them in what they see is a continual round of bad luck.  I compare that place to someone treading water.  You can only tread water for so long eventually you have to make the choice to either sink or swim.

I was also faced with that choice during my divorce.   I was a stay at home mom for 12 years and NEVER imagined I would be faced with the fact that I may not live with my kids on a full-time basis.  That reality hit halfway through the divorce when I learned a court appointed guardian would be making the biggest decision of my life.  After several months in a courtroom I was told my kids would live with their dad.  I was devastated, hurt and scared to death of what that change would do to my life.

The concept of change to most of us brings intense fear to the point where we want to run in the other direction.   I felt myself going there that day.  I wanted to just curl up and not face that unwelcome change that was about to take place.  I was sinking and I was going down fast.   It took just a few months to realize that even though I would not be in the same house with my kids, they still needed me.  I was angry with myself for wanting to make the choice to sink because it seemed like the only way out of the pain I was feeling.  I had to make the decision to swim.  Through reflection and counsel I was able to find a way to do just that.

Here I was faced with the biggest change of my life and I survived it.  I’m still swimming even though I still have days where I feel like the tide is pulling me in.  On those days I cling to a raft, which could be a friend, a song, a bible passage or just my own reflecting on where I am in my life today.  And I always come to the realization that because I was able to swim through that change it has made me a better mother, a better friend and in general a better person.

Always remember if the caterpillar had chosen to ignore her inevitable change, she would not have survived.

Courageous Butterfly

2/24/12

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