I had quite the “wake up call” last night and it is definitely something I felt I needed to share. It made me question “are we ever really mentally prepared for what is going on in our lives”? When we see something coming it’s a natural instinct to prepare ourselves for the event. Let’s use surgery for example we mentally prepare for the surgery itself, the recovery process and how we will be feeling afterward. Do you think it’s possible to mentally prepare for something that you don’t know is coming? I didn’t until now.
Last night I stumbled upon a journal I wrote in 2006, yes a long time ago and I still have it! Actually it was really a short book that I had written and never had published. I decided to skim through it and I was amazed and upset by what I found. When I started reading I was horrified at the thought that maybe I did see my divorce coming somehow and that I had just made excuses for the behavior of my ex. I contributed a lot of it to his job and I was convinced that’s all it was. Last night when I read it I truly felt like even though I really didn’t know what was happening at the time, I was mentally preparing myself for the future.
Could I have seen it all coming? When I wrote that book six years ago did I have the foresight to know how my life was going to change?
What I really want to share with you from this experience is that it is very important to get in touch with your true feelings and emotions. Obviously six years ago I was not in tune with mine. I don’t know why I let that journal sit so long before going back and reading it but I’m glad I got it back out. I think it will make a very good tool in my healing process.
If you are keeping a journal maybe it would be a good idea to go back and read it every once in a while to help you to stay in tune with your emotions. Sometimes we write things that we cannot say out loud and you may be surprised by how you are feeling emotionally. You may not even know it until you see it in writing just like I did.
Courageous Butterfly
1/30/12
Out of the Chrysalis 
Kim,
How insightful of you to realize that you were mentally preparing yourself.
The fact is, GOD was getting you ready and you didn’t know it at the time.
Marge
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Marge, I have to say that at first when I read the old journal I was extremely upset with myself for not seeing what was right in front of me. Then a very close friend of mine said “you had foresight didn’t you?” After I looked up the word “foresight” (pathetic I know) is when it really struck me that all that time I was being prepared mentally for what was coming.
Courageous Butterfly
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