Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within

This weeks topic: How should friends who are married be supportive of their divorced friends?

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How should friends who are married be supportive of their divorced friends?

April 18, 2011

Hello fellow blogger’s I’m excited to say that I did receive a topic suggestion from a reader, well from a friend but that’s ok (thank you to my dear friend for believing in me).  I love the topic and I ‘m grateful that I even received a suggestion, please keep them coming. I save the third Monday of the month to blog about the suggested topics, so don’t be shy I’d love to hear what you would like to blog about.

Ok so let’s get to this topic “How should friends who are married be supportive of their divorced friends”?  Well…..my married friends you know who you are, and I need to take this moment to just thank you for being there for me, you all obviously know the answer to this question because you all knew what I needed and knew how to support me during that crazy time!  A true friend is by your side no matter what is going on in your life and if they happen to be married then I feel it’s a two for one deal!  During my divorce I had best friends who just happened to be very happily married and I found it to be a benefit.  When I needed to talk to them and ask advice or just to vent I found that because they were happily married they tended not to focus on the failed marriage and instead made it a point to help me focus on what was ahead.  I haven’t met a women yet who while going through her divorce focused on what was ahead.  When you go through a divorce you are only focused on the now, on your world that is crumbling beneath your feet.  Sometimes it would just be to help me focus on the next day, but still they were keeping me moving forward.  They also helped me to see the positive side of my marriage, and again there are not too many women out there who can focus on the positive side of their failing marriage while they are going through their divorce. 

Not only did my married friends support me with open arms but their spouses did also, and that meant a lot to me.  I was afraid maybe their spouses would think that I was bad mouthing marriage; it was the opposite because of the love and support I was getting from my married friends.  I was welcomed at their homes for dinner, and welcomed when I just needed a quiet place to sleep away from my reality. 

I will always be surrounded by people who are happily married and surrounded by people who have not gone through a divorce and it’s ok. I feel as long as I have the love and support of the people in my life that I love and that love me then that’s all I need.  So…all you happy married people out there…if you have a friend going through a divorce I hope my remarks have helped you to determine how you would like to be supportive for them. 

Kimberly, Courageous Butterfly

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