Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within

Discovering the Truth

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Discovering the Truth

 I have to admit this topic will probably be my hardest to talk about so I will do my best.  I also want to explain that in order to protect my family I will not be discussing detailed facts from my story.  My purpose for this blog is to just share emotions and feelings with other women who have gone through or are going through a divorce so that we can grow and move on together.

 Discovering the truth requires a lot of soul searching and for me it was admitting that I had failed.  It wasn’t that something had failed me or that someone had done something wrong to me, it was admitting to me that if I would just sit down and listen the truth would set me free.  Yes I know that is a saying “The Truth Will Set You Free”, and I found that it does work.  What did it set me free from?  It set me free from my failure, no matter who is at fault, once the complete truth comes out there is a feeling of freedom, probably from both sides, although I can only speak for myself.  The truth set me free from further worry, further wondering, further pain and I was free to move on with my life. 

 If you doubt the truth no matter what your situation is, then seek it, and look for it.  But most importantly look into your soul, your soul and you are the only ones who truly know what you are feeling, and if you are feeling that something is a little off then do what you need to do to react to it.  Some people wait too long, some react too soon, but only you know when the right time is. 

 Discovering the truth is a major step because you also have to admit your failure; if you choose to ignore the truth then you are not admitting your failure which for a short time will feel good, but it’s not good for long term.   If you choose to ignore what is really happening then you are only failing yourself.  No one wants to be considered a failure especially when it comes to a relationship, it takes a mature person to admit they failed and accept the truth only then will you be at peace and be able to move on.

 Recently I was asked to admit a failure and when I spoke it out loud it meant so much more to me.  I know what my failure was; I had failed myself by not allowing myself to see the honesty I was sensing.  Even though 60 percent of marriages today end in divorce there is still the stigma of being labeled Divorced.  That is a failure in anyone’s eyes but it doesn’t have to be.  If you are true to yourself and you try your best even if you end up in a divorce at the end it could still be your victory not your failure.   I wasn’t true to myself and that is where I see that I failed but I’ve admitted that to myself and now I can be at peace with  it and move on and seek out my victory.

 In order to discover the truth you have to admit your failures, you also have to admit your strengths and I have found I have a lot more strength than I ever thought I did and my divorce brought those strengths out.  If you can combine your strengths with your failures when you find the truth you will be free.   You will be amazed at the strength you have inside of you at your darkest moment, your strengths will come out.

 There is a difference between being free and at peace and being free from the pain.  I can’t say how long the pain will last that is just human nature, we all feel emotional pain, but when you can admit the truth to yourself and deep into your soul you will have a feeling of peace and that feeling will free you.  You may still feel sad and upset and even angry but deep down you will be at peace.  When I discovered the truth  HAD set me free I cried, I had feelings of sadness but also feelings of peace, I reconciled with myself for my failure and I’m moving on. 

Ok, I counted the number of times in this post that I mentioned the words failure, failed, failing, etc.  I counted 14 but the topic is “Discovering the Truth” why does it reflect feelings of failure?  Because in the case of any divorce the truth goes along with a failure, whether it be on both sides, or even just one side failure is a part of life and you cannot get to the truth until you admit the failure.

 Admitting my failure to get to the truth was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.   When I finally admitted my failure to myself that’s when the strength came out and that strength will lead to my victory. 

 I hope I can reach out to other’s to encourage you to seek your truth and admit your failures so that you can be at peace and let your strength lead you to your victory, everyone fails but those who can admit it will go on to seek truth and victory.

Love,

Kimberly, Courageous Butterfly

 

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