If you have been feverishly looking for the post that was titled Swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool, I’m sorry to tell you it has sank like the Titanic. A first has happened…I wrote a horrible blog post and actually deleted it from my site! I was very scatterbrained, and all over the place. There were so many thoughts getting jumbled in my head that night, nothing came out on the page the way I wanted it to. So…. I hit DELETE!
How nice would it be if we could actually hit a delete button when life itself gets jumbled and nothing goes right? We have all wished for a do-over…a what if moment…a magic button that would make it all ok. The good news is, we can! We are blessed to wake up every day with a fresh start, a new day to make many many more mistakes or seize the day and make it what we want it to be!
So, back to the original post. A friend of mine recently told me that I was swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool. Let’s take a short pause here and interject some humor if you will. Imagine a pool with crystal blue water and it goes as deep as the sea. The sun should be shining, but the day is presenting with a soft light rain. The air is slightly warm and there is a mild breeze. The water is perfect, warm and soothing. Life is great, happiness is overflowing and then it hits…….I can’t swim!!!
Legs are flailing around as fast as they can, arms are trying to paddle to stay afloat. Panic is setting in, breathing becomes heavy, fear is taking over the body. That…my friends is what swimming in the dating pool feels like!
Now who is to say which end is the correct end to be swimming in? Or in my case treading gently. I have always stayed in the shallow end of life. The safe zone I guess you can call it. Regularly avoiding conflict, constantly pleasing everyone. Lately though, I am feeling confident and secure in who I am and what I want my future to hold for me. I’m learning to swim through life without wearing a vest, and that is a very scary thing, though necessary.
It is necessary because swimming with a life preserver on is extremely difficult. All you are really doing is floating and not getting anywhere. I’m ready to swim and maybe even jump off that high dive. It is time to surf! Grab a board and go for it! I think my balance is strong enough to carry me to where I want to be.
Dating is a scary thing, especially at a later age. I really want to embrace it, enjoy it, and pursue it, rather than deleting it.
Have you dated post divorce? Would love to hear your story.
Kimberly
Courageous Butterfly
10/24/15
Just when you think things are getting better, it happens AGAIN! Of course, we know that is what life is all about. The ups, the downs, the happy as well as sad. I had spent an entire year preparing for something that was to have taken place last weekend, but I was struck down with the flu virus. And not just the 24 hour or even 4 day flu, it was the 7 day tied to the couch illness. One week from receiving my flu shot of course. But the flu is not the purpose for this post today, it is learning that when we are fighting a foe, patience isn’t always the easiest.
Many of the outcomes of my divorce were surprises to me and not what I had expected or anticipated, just at this past weekend. However, the divorce produced new life, new change and a chance to grow and strengthen, as well as this past weekend. I’m seeing a pattern here. Both of these instances were successes in my life and should not be seen as anything less. This time I could see it quicker and more clearly because I knew what to look for.
Today summer ends and a new season begins to take shape, some of us are ready, some are not. Looking up at the darker fall clouds I am reminded of how sometimes changing seasons in our lives can be just as cold and dark as changing weather.
Out of the Chrysalis 