Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within


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Patience As Your Armour


hope tool boxJust when you think things are getting better, it happens AGAIN!  Of course, we know that is what life is all about.  The ups, the downs, the happy as well as sad.  I had spent an entire year preparing for something that was to have taken place last weekend, but I was struck down with the flu virus.  And not just the 24 hour or even 4 day flu, it was the 7 day tied to the couch illness.  One week from receiving my flu shot of course.  But the flu is not the purpose for this post today, it is learning that when we are fighting a foe, patience isn’t always the easiest.

Often during my divorce there were times when I was being referred to as “a patient woman”.  It wasn’t just from one person, I was hearing this phrase over and over again from various people in my life.  Each of those people serving a different purpose and all having totally different experiences with me than the other.  I would almost laugh out loud every time I heard that title because I never felt it.  Other than just on one occasion, I could not see what they were,  as far as having one shred of patience coming through me.  I felt quite the opposite.

The phrase was even uttered to me as early as the first meeting with my attorney, way before I began my quest to become a butterfly.  Now I can see how it goes hand in hand with the patience our friend the caterpillar has to cling to in order to make its ultimate transformation.  So, this time around I decided to hold my focus on being patient, not just with the virus, but also letting go of the fact that maybe I was not supposed to accomplish the task I had been preparing for, just yet anyway.  If I am patient and content with the way things turned out, I am confident my day will come and if not then I know there are bigger and better things ahead.  I could have pouted this entire week, that would not have produced anything.  I spent my days doing things I usually don’t have time for and because of that I know that I want to make time for them in my life.  Being tolerant this week has given me a chance to grow within myself, as if I were in a cocoon.

patience-quotes-2Many of the outcomes of my divorce were surprises to me and not what I had expected or anticipated, just at this past weekend.  However, the divorce produced new life, new change and a chance to grow and strengthen, as well as this past weekend.  I’m seeing a pattern here.  Both of these instances were successes in my life and should not be seen as anything less.   This time I could see it quicker and more clearly because I knew what to look for.

As far as I am concerned, I was given another chance to hone in on those “skills”, strengthen my Armour so to speak.  I will choose not to focus on what I may have missed out on because the happenstance produced a gift, one that I may not have received had I not spent that year preparing.   Instead I will treasure the chance I had, the way I have grown out of the struggle, and the wisdom to know that my Armour is still in tact.

I look at this as Step 1 on my new journey; taking the time to discover the hidden gifts that I am carrying with me, that were all a result of my challenge.  I look forward to seeing what is next and what other life techniques will be unearthed.

Have you found a new skill or one that you thought was lost since enduring your change?  Please comment.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

10/11/14

Related links/blogs

Patience……

I Can’t Wait

Practicing Patience and Positivity

 


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The calm before the storm


In nature we know that the calm before the storm is when the trees become still, the birds are quiet and the colors in the sky become ominous.   I have to say that the animals are very lucky that they know how to see that calm and can then prepare for the storm.  The bad news for us humans is that we don’t notice that calm until we are in the midst of our storm.

Not to long ago I wrote a post about how important it is to try to see the beauty that  is hidden within your storm and the fact that once you make it through you will be better for it; you will grow stronger through that trial.  So how can we sense that we are in a calm before the storm?  Some people may say “my life is going too well something bad is going to happen”.  Or the famous “it’s too good to be true, so something bad must come of it”.  The truth is we don’t see that we were in the calm until the storm happens.  Just tonight I had a close friend say “I hope this storm passes quick I have been pretty stress free for a few weeks”.  We don’t have a doppler system for the storms of life so how do we embrace our calm if we are seeing it only when the storm hits?

I’m sure you can think back to a really good day or a time when you thought to yourself “wow things are going really well for me”.  We need to pay attention to those moments and take inventory on how we are feeling.  Pay attention to your outlook on life, energy level and overall happiness.  Then, be in tune to the impact those feelings are having on you in that moment.  Maybe they are causing you to be successful in a project you are working on or maybe they just helped you brighten someone’s day.  No matter how large or small the success is make sure you note it!  Place these feelings and moments of happiness and success in your emergency storm bag because they will become your tools for survival.

I love this pic! She has her tool in hand!

You’ve taken inventory on your best day you have those feelings and moments in your mind and all of a sudden your sky opens and your storm hits.  Stress is being piled on you from every angle.  Be it work, a relationship, kids or anything that can cause you stress, it’s all hitting you at once.  What do you do?  You reach out for your tools.  You remember how you felt when things were going well in your life and you focus on those feelings and ask yourself  “what do I need to do in order to feel like that again?”  If you take just a moment to look back you will quickly realize you would much rather have the feelings of happiness and success rather than the feelings the stress is causing you to have.  Now I know you can’t just close your eyes and make your problems disappear.  It would be awesome but  it’s not going to happen.  You will still have to deal with whatever the issue is but use your tools while you are dealing with it. Remind yourself that you are strong enough to find a solution to your problem and release the stress.  Encourage yourself to work through whatever it is and get yourself back to the feelings you had when you were in your calm. We can’t know how long our storm will last but we can use our tools to help bring us out and back to our calm.

The last couple of years have been a pretty big storm but I did have some good days thrown in there.  I will now look back on those days and pull the tools out of my emergency bag whenever a storm hits.

Would anyone like to offer any suggestions to my blog reader’s on how you were successful in working through a stressful time, we could all use helpful tips!  (respond in the comments)

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

5/8/12