Tag: strength

Embracing Loneliness

Published on by Kimberly Novak3 Comments

Grayson 1998-2012

 

When I first thought of writing on this topic I had originally titled it Accepting Loneliness.  When I went to sleep last night I was fearful for the coming morning.  It would be the first morning I woke up completely alone since my divorce.  The past 19 months my mornings, evenings and nights have all been spent with mans best friend and early Tuesday morning he went to heaven.

I woke up an hour before my alarm and realized my entire morning routine is now changed.  I was frozen and did not know how I was going to get up and start my day.  I thought about just spending the day in bed and as that thought was crossing my mind my body said differently, I jumped up with a leg cramp.  I was now forced out of bed!

Since the sun was shining I decided to take myself for a walk.  Sneakers went on, I pod ready to go, headphones in.  I set out at first feeling pretty sad but as I walked I realized that I had completed step one to creating a new morning routine.  I did something to get my day started and it was a positive thing.   It gave me time to clear my thoughts and focus on my schedule for the day, all while allowing myself time to listen to my favorite tunes.

Clarity was slowly seeping in and I realized that I have a choice to either accept the feelings of being alone or embrace them.  If I only accept them I”m really not making any positive changes for myself.  My world is now changed whether I like it or not.  The better thing to do would be to embrace it.

I’m content with the fact that today will be rough for me, but I got through the hardest part.  Over the next week or so I can set my routines how I want them.  I am in control of deciding what I will now do with my extra time and I am choosing to spend it being happy in my loneliness.  I figure I”ll play around with a few different changes and see what fits best into my schedule.  I really enjoyed the walk today and when winter hits I have access to an indoor center right across the way.  My morning routine is now set!  

I’m sure I will have waves of sadness, fear, and reluctance along the way, but those are all common feelings when a change is occurring.  Life is all about thriving through change sometimes they are happy changes, and sometimes they are filled with loss, pain and grief.  As I’ve said before in previous blogs, the latter are the ones that we grow through.  Just like the caterpillar  (yes I’m using the reference again!) who grows in her chrysalis, change makes us stronger!

Be all you can be in your loneliness, embrace who you are and live happy!  How have you embraced loneliness or change?  Reply in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/19/12

Time To Simmer

Published on by Kimberly Novak1 Comment

A friend of mine recently visited The Butterfly House and was  lucky enough to release some butterflies.  After taking the lid off the container she gently slid in her finger.  The butterfly perched on the tip, as she extended her hand to set it free she said “enjoy your 21 days”.

It got me thinking….Did that butterfly set out with a plan?  What will be important over the next 21 days?  Will she live out her dreams?    Imagine if we only had 21 days.  What would our plans be?  The butterfly has no idea that it only has 21 days, just as we have no idea what our life span will be.

People spend a lot of time worrying about the next day.  When we leave work we are already concerned about what our day will be like tomorrow.  Children leaving school worry about tests the next day.  As we are driving home from work we are stressed over what traffic may be like.   Then there are the evening worries…will I get everything done so I can get a decent nights sleep and wake up and do it all over again?  That is life for most of us.  Are we making the most out of our lives?

If the butterfly worried day after day about what was going to happen next she wouldn’t have much of a life in that short 21 day span.  All of the strength she gained while in the cocoon would be wasted.  Instead, she set’s out on a course of discovery.  Fluttering around from flower to flower, embracing her life and the time she has.  Imagine what could happen if we embraced life.

I’m not one to talk, I’ve spent a lot of my life in the worry stage, but I”m also realizing that I am much happier if I make the choice to embrace life rather than worry about it.  Recently I was stuck on the side of the highway with a flat tire.  A natural response for most after hearing the POP is to immediately get angry.  I heard the sound, looked up and noticed how blue the sky was; sun was shining; it was a beautiful day…I chose to embrace it.  After calling work; calling for roadside assistance; I rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof and enjoyed looking up at the brilliantly blue sky.  I had 40 minutes to enjoy.  I was also blessed with an hour and a half walk around town while waiting for the tire to be fixed.  My responses set the course for the rest of my day.  Anger would’ve turned to stress, which would’ve brought on physical symptoms and so on.

Living life as if we only had 21 days could be kind of exciting!  It forces one to make the best of every moment no matter if it’s a good or bad one.  The bad days are the ones that make us stronger.  When I told a friend about my flat tire experience the first reaction was negative, she was upset for me!  I just smiled because I knew I had made the best of that incident.  I know it sounds silly, but I did feel like I gained just a little more strength that day.

It was a start to conditioning myself to see the good in the bad.  Yes I had a flat, but I also had time to enjoy the nice day that I never would have allowed myself.  I was given a few hours to simmer.

It takes 21 days for a butterfly to soar to the greatest heights it can.  In that short time the glasswing carries up to 40 times it’s weight and is the strongest, but most delicate, of the species.  What do we need to do to be the strongest we can be?  Similarly for us it takes 21 days to change or create a habit.  Kind of like we get a chance to reboot if we are stuck in a bad habit or strengthen by creating a positive one.  

I’ve begun my reboot and I’m confident that once I’m past my 21 days, I will have more strength to soar to the next.   Life’s obstacles are just stepping-stones of strength that will carry us on to another bad day.

How will you spend your next 21 days?……..Comment below on how you have  changed.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/16/12

 

Related Articles/Blogs:

Day one of 21 days

21 days to health eating habits

How to remain positive in adverse situations

Smile feel happy

Positivity Challenge

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unplanned Opportunities

Published on by Kimberly Novak1 Comment

Plan:  a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something

We all have them.  We’ve spent countless hours determining the order they should go.  Some have spent thousands of dollars just to get themselves to a point in which they can carry them out.  What is the reaction when our plans are interrupted?  Those of us who have faced the loss of a relationship know all to well the answer to that question.  We tend to shut down.

When plans are interrupted, not by our choice, it can make one a little cranky!  The trick is to try to respond to life’s pause with love.  It is not easy to see the good in the midst of the bad, but trust me it is there.  At first it will seem like life as you knew it is gone. Only because life has changed the plans for you.  Adapting to change is one of the hardest things anyone can go through.  I’ve heard that the fear of “change” is one of the things people fear the most.  It beats out heights, spiders, plane crashes, and even skydiving.

Believe me it is easy to let yourself slip into the why’s and what if’s when dealing with loss.  Imagine how different life would be if instead we rose to the height of creativity when facing shattered plans.   Using creativity as fuel to propel yourself forward in life can bring so many opportunities.   A journal, for example, is a very creative way to begin to heal.  Other’s have found solace in crafts, cooking, and photography.  There are several celebrities who rose to great heights because they overcame  shattered plans and flourished in their adversity.  Just to name a few, Oprah, J.K. Rowling, Vincent Van Gogh, Bethany Hamilton, and Michael Jordan.   Each of them had gone through and survived a loss which made them who they are today.

Famous our not, we can all react in a way that will help us to achieve our version of greatness.  It is important that we do not become afraid of making new plans and doing our best to carry them out.  But we also have to remember that even though we have our plans, God has his too.   I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of thinking I was in complete control of what I had been planning.  There are several outside influences that will dictate how our plans are carried out.  My marriage for instance was not just in my hands but also in the hands of my ex.  We cannot always count on the fact that what we have plotted out to happen will go exactly the way we want it.

So we have to train ourselves to react to life’s interruptions.  I have begun to train myself with faith, hope and love.  Having faith within to be able to rise to the challenge.  The hope that the new proposal for life will see itself through.  Loving to the point of throwing self-doubt out the window.  If we can face each unplanned opportunity with these three attributes I am confident our new life will be full of wonderful surprises!

How have you faced an unplanned opportunity?  Please share.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

7/22/12