I know I can….


This post is dedicated to the little engine in my life.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.  A popular line from a children’s story of The Little Engine That Could.   When I first decided to blog about this famous line I had a totally different approach in mind.  My first thoughts were to talk about how life sometimes presents us with struggles that we don’t think we can get through, and if we focus and set our mind to the task of surviving that struggle, then just as the little engine, we will also climb our hill.  I wanted to do more research on the story and when I stumbled upon a version by Watty Piper I was blown away, and immediately changed my point of view.  Take a moment to read this story and my remarks will follow.

Little Engine That Could - Uknown

The Little Engine That Could, by Watty Piper

A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull.

She went along very well till she came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard she tried, she could not move the long train of cars.

She pulled and she pulled. She puffed and she puffed. She backed and started off again. Choo! Choo!

But no! the cars would not go up the hill.

At last she left the train and started up the track alone. Do you think she had stopped working? No, indeed! She was going for help.

“Surely I can find someone to help me,” she thought.

Over the hill and up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo!

Pretty soon she saw a big steam engine standing on a side track. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, she looked up and said:

“Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and heavy I can’t get it over.”

The big steam engine looked down at the little steam engine. The he said:

“Don’t you see that I am through my day’s work? I have been rubbed and scoured ready for my next run. No, I cannot help you,”

The little steam engine was sorry, but she went on, Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!

Soon she came to a second big steam engine standing on a side track. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired.

“That big steam engine may help me,” thought the little steam engine. She ran alongside and asked:

“Will you help me bring my train of cars over the hill? It is so long and so heavy that I can’t get it over.”

The second big steam engine answered:

“I have just come in from a long, long run. Don’t you see how tired I am? Can’t you get some other engine to help you this time?

“I’ll try,” said the little steam engine, and off she went. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!

After a while she came to a little steam engine just like herself. She ran alongside and said:

“Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and so heavy that I can’t get it over.”

“Yes, indeed!” said this little steam engine. “I’ll be glad to help you, if I can.”

So the little steam engines started back to where the train of cars had been standing. Both little steam engines went to the head of the train, one behind the other.

Puff, puff! Chug, choo! Off they started!

Slowly the cars began to move. Slowly they climbed the steep hill. As they climbed, each little steam engine began to sing:

“I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I think I can – I think I can – I think I can I think I can–“

And they did! Very soon they were over the hill and going down the other side.

Now they were on the plain again; and the little steam engine could pull her train herself. So she thanked the little engine who had come to help her, and said good-by.

And she went merrily on her way, singing:

“I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I thought i could – I thought I could – I thought I could – I thought I could – I thought I could – I thought I could I thought I could –“


If you are like me you are probably a little teary eyed after reading that.   I had heard that story as a child but as an adult it means so much more to me, and IT MAKES SENSE!!!!  During my struggle I gravitated towards people stronger than me.  First was my lawyer, she was a little ball of fire!  My counselor was a strong, confident person.  The family member’s that I looked to for guidance were strong in their marriages, and the friends I confided in were always stronger than I.  

Now don’t get me wrong all of those people were instrumental in giving me what I needed during that crucial time.  But once it was over I needed something different.  The key line that stole my heart in this story is  After a while she came to a little steam engine just like herself.   I am totally in love and blown away with that simple line.  At first she thought only the strong could help her and in the end it was the one most like her that brought victory.

This is why I think my blog and other’s like mine is so important to those going through struggles of life.  Along with support groups for the grief you are dealing with.  I never thought that finding and confiding in someone just like me was what I needed.  But in order to be successful for both you and your little engine, you must lay all cards on the table.  During my early months of counseling I held back.  I held back in talking with family.  I had no idea that I needed  someone the same as I.

I am elated to say that about a year and  a half ago I found my little engine.  Someone who went through the same thing I did.  We were able to share stories, vent to each other.  We were an understanding companion during the time of trying to survive what we went through.  In that process I  was able to find myself again.  I was able to straight up tell it like it really is, and in doing so I am forever changed.  I’d like to say the same for my little engine partner, as I  have seen so much growth in both of us.

It is a blessing and a gift to be able to mend your heart and grow alongside of someone who is dealing with the same feelings you are.  The lesson I have learned is that you don’t always have to look for the strong in order to become stronger.  The experience of growing strong along side someone who was also gaining strength through me is an experience of a lifetime!

Do you have your engine to heal with?  I strongly recommend you seek out someone just like yourself to share a journey with.  A promise of a rewarding and lasting bond awaits you.

I encourage you to share your story of how an engine helped you or how you helped another little engine and together we will all be able to say………I know I can, I know I can, I know I can.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/24/12

Related Blogs:

Lovely Quotes:  Little Engine That Could

The Little Engine That Could, and the Outsider Mother

Sharing Grief

Helping Friends Grieve, Why I Share

Embracing Loneliness


Grayson 1998-2012

 

When I first thought of writing on this topic I had originally titled it Accepting Loneliness.  When I went to sleep last night I was fearful for the coming morning.  It would be the first morning I woke up completely alone since my divorce.  The past 19 months my mornings, evenings and nights have all been spent with mans best friend and early Tuesday morning he went to heaven.

I woke up an hour before my alarm and realized my entire morning routine is now changed.  I was frozen and did not know how I was going to get up and start my day.  I thought about just spending the day in bed and as that thought was crossing my mind my body said differently, I jumped up with a leg cramp.  I was now forced out of bed!

Since the sun was shining I decided to take myself for a walk.  Sneakers went on, I pod ready to go, headphones in.  I set out at first feeling pretty sad but as I walked I realized that I had completed step one to creating a new morning routine.  I did something to get my day started and it was a positive thing.   It gave me time to clear my thoughts and focus on my schedule for the day, all while allowing myself time to listen to my favorite tunes.

Clarity was slowly seeping in and I realized that I have a choice to either accept the feelings of being alone or embrace them.  If I only accept them I”m really not making any positive changes for myself.  My world is now changed whether I like it or not.  The better thing to do would be to embrace it.

I’m content with the fact that today will be rough for me, but I got through the hardest part.  Over the next week or so I can set my routines how I want them.  I am in control of deciding what I will now do with my extra time and I am choosing to spend it being happy in my loneliness.  I figure I”ll play around with a few different changes and see what fits best into my schedule.  I really enjoyed the walk today and when winter hits I have access to an indoor center right across the way.  My morning routine is now set!  

I’m sure I will have waves of sadness, fear, and reluctance along the way, but those are all common feelings when a change is occurring.  Life is all about thriving through change sometimes they are happy changes, and sometimes they are filled with loss, pain and grief.  As I’ve said before in previous blogs, the latter are the ones that we grow through.  Just like the caterpillar  (yes I’m using the reference again!) who grows in her chrysalis, change makes us stronger!

Be all you can be in your loneliness, embrace who you are and live happy!  How have you embraced loneliness or change?  Reply in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/19/12

Time To Simmer


A friend of mine recently visited The Butterfly House and was  lucky enough to release some butterflies.  After taking the lid off the container she gently slid in her finger.  The butterfly perched on the tip, as she extended her hand to set it free she said “enjoy your 21 days”.

It got me thinking….Did that butterfly set out with a plan?  What will be important over the next 21 days?  Will she live out her dreams?    Imagine if we only had 21 days.  What would our plans be?  The butterfly has no idea that it only has 21 days, just as we have no idea what our life span will be.

People spend a lot of time worrying about the next day.  When we leave work we are already concerned about what our day will be like tomorrow.  Children leaving school worry about tests the next day.  As we are driving home from work we are stressed over what traffic may be like.   Then there are the evening worries…will I get everything done so I can get a decent nights sleep and wake up and do it all over again?  That is life for most of us.  Are we making the most out of our lives?

If the butterfly worried day after day about what was going to happen next she wouldn’t have much of a life in that short 21 day span.  All of the strength she gained while in the cocoon would be wasted.  Instead, she set’s out on a course of discovery.  Fluttering around from flower to flower, embracing her life and the time she has.  Imagine what could happen if we embraced life.

I’m not one to talk, I’ve spent a lot of my life in the worry stage, but I”m also realizing that I am much happier if I make the choice to embrace life rather than worry about it.  Recently I was stuck on the side of the highway with a flat tire.  A natural response for most after hearing the POP is to immediately get angry.  I heard the sound, looked up and noticed how blue the sky was; sun was shining; it was a beautiful day…I chose to embrace it.  After calling work; calling for roadside assistance; I rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof and enjoyed looking up at the brilliantly blue sky.  I had 40 minutes to enjoy.  I was also blessed with an hour and a half walk around town while waiting for the tire to be fixed.  My responses set the course for the rest of my day.  Anger would’ve turned to stress, which would’ve brought on physical symptoms and so on.

Living life as if we only had 21 days could be kind of exciting!  It forces one to make the best of every moment no matter if it’s a good or bad one.  The bad days are the ones that make us stronger.  When I told a friend about my flat tire experience the first reaction was negative, she was upset for me!  I just smiled because I knew I had made the best of that incident.  I know it sounds silly, but I did feel like I gained just a little more strength that day.

It was a start to conditioning myself to see the good in the bad.  Yes I had a flat, but I also had time to enjoy the nice day that I never would have allowed myself.  I was given a few hours to simmer.

It takes 21 days for a butterfly to soar to the greatest heights it can.  In that short time the glasswing carries up to 40 times it’s weight and is the strongest, but most delicate, of the species.  What do we need to do to be the strongest we can be?  Similarly for us it takes 21 days to change or create a habit.  Kind of like we get a chance to reboot if we are stuck in a bad habit or strengthen by creating a positive one.  

I’ve begun my reboot and I’m confident that once I’m past my 21 days, I will have more strength to soar to the next.   Life’s obstacles are just stepping-stones of strength that will carry us on to another bad day.

How will you spend your next 21 days?……..Comment below on how you have  changed.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/16/12

 

Related Articles/Blogs:

Day one of 21 days

21 days to health eating habits

How to remain positive in adverse situations

Smile feel happy

Positivity Challenge