Learning how to listen


a quiet moment in Hawaii 2011
a quiet moment in Hawaii 2011

I can remember when I was little and my mom or dad would always ask in an angry tone “don’t you listen?” or “why aren’t you listening to me?” Well I’ve been asking myself that exact question for the last few years.  My divorce recovery has not always gone the best, there have been good and bad days but for the most part I can say I am proud of where I am right now.  Except for just one thing…I still do not know how to listen.

I am referring to listening to my inner self, thoughts, questions and fears.  During these last few years I have found much difficulty in trusting myself to make decisions even the simple ones.  I have sought out advice from everyone I am in contact with on pretty much all aspects of my life and I still find myself in limbo.  I have heard over and over again what a patient woman I am yet I cannot seem to find the patience within my own being.

When I counseled last she recommended to me that there really wasn’t a need for me to come back, that took me by surprise and kind of upset me.  Then she asked what I had hoped to gain from our sessions and I couldn’t answer.  Why was I really there?  She said that it looks to her like I am feeling stuck.  I quickly agreed.  At this point in my life I had hoped that I would be on a clear path yet I am still trudging through some mud and jumping over puddles.

Today, I watched Soul Surfer, it is a VERY inspirational movie about a young girl who loses her arm in a shark attack.  This young person overcame every obstacle set in her way and she realized her dream of becoming a professional surfer.  There was one scene in the movie that caught my attention along with my heart.  I think it fits almost every situation that deals with loss and the message I took from it is that you just have to be patient and listen.

I am going to try my best to focus every day on just listening to my body, mind, and heart and then live my day accordingly.  At the same time making sure that what I am doing is guiding me towards my future, whatever that may be.  The lines below are from the scene I referenced.  You can also click here to view the clip.

If you can offer suggestions on learning to listen to your inner self please share!!! I would love to hear what you have to say!

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

 

Bethany Hamilton:

Go ahead, tell me how everything’s going to be okay.

Tom Hamilton:

Yea that’s me Mr. jump-right-in-and-fix-it, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut for once.

Bethany Hamilton:

I’m done, aren’t I? I can’t even paddle out to the line up passed the big waves. I don’t understand, what happened to… I can do all things. Why? Why did this happen? Why did I have to lose everything?

Tom Hamilton:

You didn’t lose everything Bethany, not even close. That shark didn’t kill you, you’re here, you’re alive, you have your family.

Bethany Hamilton:

But what am I suppose to do now?

Tom Hamilton:

I don’t know…

Bethany Hamilton:

Then how am I suppose to know?

Tom Hamilton:

When the times right you’ll know. You just have to listen.

Bethany Hamilton:

Listen for what?

Tom Hamilton:

For whatever comes next.

 

Looking Ahead With Hope


Today summer ends and a new season begins to take shape, some of us are ready, some are not.  Looking up at the darker fall clouds I am reminded of how sometimes changing seasons in our lives can be just as cold and dark as changing weather.

There was a comment left on yesterday’s post Imagine Your Change that spurred the energy for this post.  It spoke about finding the joy in moving on and how sometimes that can be extremely difficult.  There were several times in the last four years that I tried to or thought I had actually moved on from what had happened to me and that I was going to be able to put it behind me and be happy.  I’m sure I even had a few posts that reflected those feelings at the time, but the reality is I may never actually totally put it behind me.   My marriage was half of my life, and it included many pivotal and defining moments that has helped to make me who I am.  I also know that in order to put some of that pain aside and heal from it there has to be forgiveness in your heart, not just on your lips.

Finding peace in your grief can be done but will actually be something that you have to practice, pray on, and really want.  I have found that all the negative thoughts and moments of heavy sadness and grief were not very productive, but the nights where I started to look ahead and focus on positive changes in my life brought some comfort.  So how do we forgive?  That’s a question only you can answer.  It will depend on how open your mind is and how ready you are to move forward and most important is to remember that forgiving doesn’t mean we forget, it means we simply acknowledge where we are in our life now and accept the challenge of this next life transition.  Not every transition in our lives will be what we want, all we can do is deal with it the best way we know how.hope

So find something that gives you joy, for me it’s Butterflies of course and hold it close to your heart.  When you find you are having a bad day or just need something to get you through a difficult moment cling to it, focus on it and let that person, object, scent, place, or insect guide you on your path for that day and your new tomorrow.

Can you welcome your season change and look ahead with hope?  Please comment.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/22/14

Related links/blogs

Hope In Front Of Me

Hurricane

I”m About To Rebuild You

Rest Stop….autumn is finally here

Imagine……YOUR Change!


life is artI’m here!! It’s finally happened I have climbed an unimaginable hurdle and guess what? I survived!  Though the bumps and bruises along the way have left some scars, I feel like I am ready to embrace my change.  For so long I have wanted to make it all go away, there had to be a way I could go through it without actually living it.

Unfortunately I never found out how to do that.  The road was long and there were many times I wanted to just give up.  Today I sit in my new space with fresh walls that will hold only new memories for me and I am a very happy Butterfly!

It has been very strange since I moved, things are actually happening without a struggle.  The old saying “everything is falling into place” is really happening.  The last few weeks I have caught myself not wanting to get too excited thinking maybe I would jinx something.  If I were to do that though, I would miss out on a lot of new-found happiness.  My surroundings are beautiful, peaceful and a great place for new beginnings.  This weekend I spent decorating and boy did I put my heart into the energy and created what I think are some beautiful rooms.  It’s amazing that one little $2.00 purchase would get the creative juices going and an entire theme room took shape.   I took something that by itself was plain and simple, added a little glitz and created something spectacular.

I am a very lucky lady today, I have been given a chance to embrace my change and imagine all the possibilities of the future.  Just a few years ago I never would have given any of that a second thought.  I was stuck in the event that was forcing unwanted change and thought for sure that is where I would forever be.

My new assignment is to learn how to really take it all in without worry or stress.  I know the practice of living in the moment takes a lot of discipline but I am willing to give it one heck of a try.  Living day-to-day without stressing over something whether it be big or small is just what the doctor ordered.  I am Learning how to imagine a future where I can be happy. Anything_Is_Possible

Within these new plain walls, I have begun to create a canvas of hope.  Something I never thought would come, but will forever be a welcome guest in my new home.

Did you know when you were ready to imagine your change, your future?  Please comment.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/21/14

Related Links/Blogs

For The First Time In Forever, Frozen

Your Mind Is A Canvas

You Need To Know Something