Just when you think things are getting better, it happens AGAIN! Of course, we know that is what life is all about. The ups, the downs, the happy as well as sad. I had spent an entire year preparing for something that was to have taken place last weekend, but I was struck down with the flu virus. And not just the 24 hour or even 4 day flu, it was the 7 day tied to the couch illness. One week from receiving my flu shot of course. But the flu is not the purpose for this post today, it is learning that when we are fighting a foe, patience isn’t always the easiest.
Often during my divorce there were times when I was being referred to as “a patient woman”. It wasn’t just from one person, I was hearing this phrase over and over again from various people in my life. Each of those people serving a different purpose and all having totally different experiences with me than the other. I would almost laugh out loud every time I heard that title because I never felt it. Other than just on one occasion, I could not see what they were, as far as having one shred of patience coming through me. I felt quite the opposite.
The phrase was even uttered to me as early as the first meeting with my attorney, way before I began my quest to become a butterfly. Now I can see how it goes hand in hand with the patience our friend the caterpillar has to cling to in order to make its ultimate transformation. So, this time around I decided to hold my focus on being patient, not just with the virus, but also letting go of the fact that maybe I was not supposed to accomplish the task I had been preparing for, just yet anyway. If I am patient and content with the way things turned out, I am confident my day will come and if not then I know there are bigger and better things ahead. I could have pouted this entire week, that would not have produced anything. I spent my days doing things I usually don’t have time for and because of that I know that I want to make time for them in my life. Being tolerant this week has given me a chance to grow within myself, as if I were in a cocoon.
Many of the outcomes of my divorce were surprises to me and not what I had expected or anticipated, just at this past weekend. However, the divorce produced new life, new change and a chance to grow and strengthen, as well as this past weekend. I’m seeing a pattern here. Both of these instances were successes in my life and should not be seen as anything less. This time I could see it quicker and more clearly because I knew what to look for.
As far as I am concerned, I was given another chance to hone in on those “skills”, strengthen my Armour so to speak. I will choose not to focus on what I may have missed out on because the happenstance produced a gift, one that I may not have received had I not spent that year preparing. Instead I will treasure the chance I had, the way I have grown out of the struggle, and the wisdom to know that my Armour is still in tact.
I look at this as Step 1 on my new journey; taking the time to discover the hidden gifts that I am carrying with me, that were all a result of my challenge. I look forward to seeing what is next and what other life techniques will be unearthed.
Have you found a new skill or one that you thought was lost since enduring your change? Please comment.
Kimberly
Courageous Butterfly
10/11/14
Related links/blogs
Practicing Patience and Positivity
What happens when you are at war with your feelings, emotions and inner self? Someone has to win and lately I feel like I am not in the driver’s seat when it comes to my feelings. As a survivor of a huge loss, I know there will be periods of up and down and even some all around days, but this time I am growing angry because I have found myself in one of those moments.
Out of the Chrysalis 