No more carrying around unnecessary suitcases that were once filled with doubt, regret, failure, defeat, and pain. I have one bag that will hold, love, laughter, joy, faith, hope, confidence, strength and determination. Now, I know life is not going to be perfect and I will hit a few speed bumps along the way, and there is room in my bag for those events; however, they will only be passing by and not invited to stay.
Two years ago today I reluctantly began a new journey. I was sad, confused, hurt, and defeated. Anticipating how I may be feeling about it all, I did not sleep well last night. I was afraid of waking up today and having those feelings back just because it was an anniversary. I am PROUD to say that I survived and kept it a completely tear free day. Instead of focusing on what I went through and why today was going to be so hard, I focused on what is ahead; yet to come; surprises that await me; new beginnings; fun; excitement; love; hope; and dreams.
I spent the day being thankful that I am where I am after the struggle I endured. I’m thankful for the lesson’s I learned, and even thankful for the tears I cried. It was within those tears that I was healing. I’m thankful that I was given the chance to begin again, find out who I am and what I’m all about. I still have my moments, fears, and also discovering some scars that were left behind, as I wrote about in my last post. But I’m ok with that, it’s part of the healing and transformation that I am making. Even though I’m still 4 ft 11″, I feel like I have grown through this experience. Today I stand on my tip toes and embrace the new me!
Loss is horrible, but when you can see what you have learned from the process…it’s AMAZING! The most important value I have learned so far is not to live in the past. Keep your eyes forward. Only you are behind the wheel of your life, you make the choice to keep moving forward, or to detour back to the past. Maintaining a steady cruise seems like the best way to travel. Speeding through can bring feelings of fear or doubt. When this happens, take a deep breath, reflect and make sure it’s the path you want to be on.
My windshield is looking pretty awesome right now. The road I’ve been traveling on has led me to some pretty fantastic places, and brought wonderful people into my life. It’s not all going to be sunny skies, there will be days when I’m driving through a storm but now I know I will make it through. My broken road has been replaced, the top is down, the wind is blowing through my hair and I am on my way to a new beginning!
Do you feel your on the path toward healing? Please share in the comments section below.