Out of the Chrysalis

Celebrating and embracing the transformation within

Finding Battle Scars

6 Comments


every-scarLet’s start with the definition of  SCAR: a  mark left by a healed wound; a lasting after effect of trouble;  a lingering sign of damage or injury.

Today I spent approximately 30 minutes with a total stranger, who in a subtle way, pointed out that I have some pretty serious battle scars.  I did not share any details of my divorce, only that I had gone through on.   With  the perception or stigma of a “divorce” the conclusion was reached that I have changed the way I deal with certain situations.

I’ve been dealing with some health issues for almost a year now and was seeking another opinion.  I was described very politely as being pragmatic and not accepting of the fact that I’ve been left without a diagnosis.   The phrase used was “you do not want to be left in limbo”.  I had to let that simmer for most of the afternoon but when I really started to think about it, I realized it is the truth.

I survived something pretty horrible and my wounds have healed, but as a wound heals sometimes a scar is left.  Depending on the severity of the wound some scars will be very visible and other’ s may be hard to find.  Obviously this particular scar was pretty evident I just needed someone to point it out.

At this point in my healing, I can relate most to my scar as the after effect of trouble.  There were a lot of  pretty big unknowns during the course of my divorce and it took almost two years before I had an answer to any of them.  It was just as described today, living in limbo; that is a pretty deep scar.

Now that I am in control of what is happening in my life, I cannot find comfort in the fact that there have been no answers in relation to my health concerns.  At first I thought it was a polite way of telling me I’m being impatient and I need to just chill out and let them do their job.  Then I took some time to reflect on it and it makes a lot of sense.

It’s almost like a post traumatic stress symptom.  During my battle I had little control over what was happening and never knew which way things were going to turn.  That was a very long period of time to spend in limbo and now unbeknownst to me, I’ve found myself there again.  Lucky for me this situation is very different because the people I’m working with are working for me, instead of against me.  I am confident that because we are working together we will resolve these issues and I will continue to move forward.

free to flyAs I am still getting to know the new woman I’ve become, I am learning to be grateful for the little lessons along the way.  Now I know what persistence means to me.  It means that I am refusing to be left in limbo and I am hoping it becomes a good trait to have.  As long as I am persistent in the right things and go about it in the right way I think I’ll do alright.  I like to think I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I”m in.  I may have scars but just because I had been broken, does not mean I cannot fly.

Have you found any battle scars?  Please share in the comment section.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

11/30/12

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Finding Battle Scars

  1. HI Kat, thank you so much for your comment. I have two different writing styles and it all depends on what has inspired the blog post. Most times I hear a word or phrase or have had a moment and I jot down my idea on a post it note until I am fully ready to commit my energy to writing. I look at that post it note all day and being to formulate the post in my mind. Then when I do sit down to write I try to find a song that relates to what I am trying to say and I listen to that song on replay while I write, then I add a link to that song to the end of my blog post. Other times it is the song that I hear first that inspires the post, and still I listen to it on replay until I have finished writing.

    As far as tips I guess I would say if you are having trouble getting started look for something that energizes your mind and focus on that. For me it’s music, certain songs will bring all kinds of emotions out of me.

    Hope this helps!
    Kimberly

  2. First of all I would like to say great blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was interested to find out how you center
    yourself and clear your head before writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there.
    I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first
    10 to 15 minutes are generally wasted simply just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any recommendations or tips? Thanks!

  3. Thank you for the positive thoughts Kitten. I’m glad you were able to find some comfort with the post!

  4. Pingback: Scarred, but hopeful « renplus

  5. Kimberly. I really appreciate this post. Sending positive thoughts your way. Spread your wings and fly. You’ll find that you have it in you to soar. You have the scars to prove it.
    Be well.

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