The Power of Stress


stressI’m back!!!  It feels like forever since I did my last post.  I’m sorry I was gone for so long but life was weighing me down a bit and I needed to focus, well I tried to focus anyway.

In a couple of past posts I mentioned my health was not that great and I’ve also talked about how stress can make you sick.  Well, I’ve been finding out lately that I totally underestimated the power stress has over the human body.  Unfortunately it looks like it has taken me three years, five neurologists, and roughly $25,ooo.oo to be told that my divorce has possibly made me sick.

This isn’t a topic I’m thrilled about and I’m even embarrassed to speak about it, but I feel it is extremely important that reader’s know how crucial it is to seek help even if you don’t think you are suffering from emotional stress.  Anyone who has been through a trauma, be it physical, emotional, or mental is at some point going to suffer some ill effects.

I don’t want to whine or bore you with the details so I’ll just give you the short version.  The last three years I’ve been dealing with constant pain, and I’ve been tested for everything including MS.  The good news (I like to pick out the positive) that we found some  minor things that I will need to follow with easy remedies like taking a baby aspirin every day.  I’ve sampled a buffet of meds along the way and we finally found one that took the pain level from a 7 down to a 4, which is awesome! but I was still looking for a concrete answer.  My final and next step was to seek out information on a chronic pain treatment program.  I was pretty upset knowing that we would never find the cause of the pain but if we could somehow treat it or eliminate it that would be the answer to my prayers. So off to the consult I went.

After telling my life story AGAIN in an exam room the doc very gently scooted his stool over and said “I’m gonna tell you some things you don’t want to hear”.   First, he said the amount of wine I was relaxing with every night is excessive for women, (why is it different for women than men??) and that it can make the nerve pain worse.  Ok, so step one ditch the red wine.  (Done!) Ok, so then he asked me if I thought he could give me an answer for the pain, I told him all I was after at this point was treatment but if he could shed some light to go right ahead.  That’s when he said that he thinks its stress and anxiety induced nerve pain, or nerve damage caused from STRESS!!

All I heard in my head was that I was causing my own pain…oh I was so mad at myself, but I needed to remain calm so I didn’t cause myself any more pain, that would be counterproductive.  I tried to think back to other times when I had stress in my life, to see if I remembered feeling any physical pain.  I couldn’t come up with an instance but I did remember feeling tired and sick.

Think about it, people who are grieving or upset generally end up feeling sick.  Some people have stress induced headaches, others stomach ulcers, some have panic attacks.  When our bodies cannot handle the anxiety it doesn’t know what to do, so it comes out in other ways.  For me it attacked my nerves.  Not feeling well, produced stress; medical bills produced more; no answers and fear of scary disorders produced even more.  I thought I had taken care of myself by seeking counseling after the divorce, and I was getting regular check ups, one of which showed high blood pressure for the first time.  If I look back now that is most likely how my body first started responding to the anxiety and stress of my situation.

Ladies, and gents I ask you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don’t ignore signs and symptoms of emotional stress especially if you are feeling physical symptoms.  It can be anything from a headache, stomach ache, feeling anxious, fatigue, etc.  Google emotional stress symptoms and a long list will pop up.

I am hopeful that the chronic pain program will be beneficial to my pain. We are also looking into vitamin levels and I’ve already had to begin supplementing two of them.  Between that and staying away from the red wine I am sure to be on the road to recovery, however long it may be.  I’ve begun to implement ways to decompress and teaching myself how to relax.  Things like yoga videos, and walking the dog on a nice day have been beneficial so far.  Lighting aroma therapy candles, and relaxing with chamomile tea at night have also been helpful.  There are many ideas for relaxation online, next on my list is guided imagery a few nights a week just to learn how to breathe without being stressed! relaxed frog

Ok, now that I got all that off my chest, It feels good to be back at the laptop sharing my words in the hopes to inspire or just let other’s know that you are not alone!  We are all in this together! 🙂

Has stress had a long-term effect on your health?  Please share.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

6/16/14

Related Links/Blogs:

Emotional Stress Causing What Health Problems

The Effects Of Stress Overload

How Stress Effects Your Health

Sick with Worry: How thoughts affect your health

 

Overcoming


pause“You can’t fast forward something that hasn’t happened yet, pause press and enjoy the moment”.  I wrote that quote at the beginning of this week and have been staring at it since then.  Some days it made me feel stuck, other’s it helped me to just enjoy the day without worrying about the next.  Tonight it finds me sad and excited at the same time.

I”m sitting in a house that I’ve tried to refinance three times with no luck.  Three strikes and your out as the saying goes.  According to my divorce decree that means it must be sold.  Ironically it is a house I really never wanted to be in and I’ve put in an insane amount of blood, sweat and tears.  I”m not exaggerating either, this project has taken its toll on me.  I am at a point now where I need to finish what I have started and move on.  The house came with my divorce and it holds some pretty messed up memories for me.  Well, not my memories, my fears come to pass.

During this time, my only recourse was to make it my own.  I’ve been told several times that I have accomplished just that.  However, in the process of “making it my own” I have had to deal with the demons that have controlled my thoughts in each and every room of the house.  I cannot remember a day when I have not woken up to the thoughts of what went on here prior to my obtaining the home.  Falling asleep each and every night  with those same thoughts, it is a wonder I am not insane!   Even though some may argue that.

Getting this place ready for the market is going to take a couple more months of work and money, both of which I am running out of energy for.  This entire process has been very stressful and I really need to curtail that somehow.  I’ve tried on several occasions to just “live in the moment” but thoughts of the upcoming weight I will have with trying to sell this place always creep in.  Then there are the days when I picture it sold and I become very excited at first because I will be free of those thoughts and memories of what was here before me.  Unfortunately, those pictures into the future also include the urgency of packing and moving yet again.

Today I took the afternoon not to fast forward in to the future but to just “be”.  I sat outside on the porch which held a very significant moment of my divorce and I stayed there for nearly three hours.  I didn’t think about tomorrow, selling, work, money or moving.  I just sat.  I took in the sounds of nature, the warmth of the sun and I enjoyed that moment.sunlight

Last night a placed a rather unusual sign in the yard that says “For Sale Soon”.  That moment was defining for me, not only letting the community know that it will be on the market in a short time, but letting myself know that in time,  I will be able to release all of those thoughts, memories and fears that have been weighing on my mind for so long.  I’m sure that sign will make most chuckle and may even be confusing to some and to that I say, “oh well”.  That sign for me is a stepping stone towards healing and peace, which I desperately need at this point in time, before I embark on my next journey.  To quote yet another memorable saying, there is a light at the end of my tunnel; knowing how long that tunnel is, well that’s just not possible.

Have you ever questioned the length of your tunnel?  I welcome your comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

4/13/13

Related blogs/links

Overcome, Shine Bright Baby

Little Caterpillar, Today I Am With God

Growing, sirexpressive

 

 

Extra, Extra, Read all about it…..the eBook is PUBLISHED!!!


It’s done!, It’s Done!, It’s DONE!!!!

After two years of writing, while living through it, I finally have the eBook completed and published.  I have to say it is an amazing feeling and I certainly understand why it takes so long for books to be complete.  This is just a simple 30 page eBook and it took me almost the entire day  just to upload it to the publishing site.  A print version will be available very soon for those of use non-computer savvy people.

I need to give some shout out’s here, first to my editor…Christopher Woodside I can’t begin to express my gratitude for all the work you did on this project, not only with the editing but also with getting me through some really rough times.   Asking you to edit the book seemed  logical to me because you saw me through each and every word on those pages.  I will be forever grateful.

Second goes out to Tracie Louise Photography for providing the cover pic at a very reasonable price two years ago when this project was just a glimmer in my eyes.

Next I need to thank David Hall Page for your generous, fabulous, sweet yet comical forward.  You are also someone who has gotten me through some “crap” as you put it and it means a lot to me to have you part of this project.

Finally but not in the least my family, friends, and spiritual advisors…you all know who you are!  But if you want to see your name in print I’ll throw out a few, here goes:  Michelle, Susan, Chuck. Rachel, my lovely children, Mom, Daddy, Michael, Phyllis, Elizabeth, and my awesome co-workers.

So without further ado I proudly announce

eBook Version:

Out Of The Chrysalis:  Free To Fly  (click link for purchasing information)

Out of the Chrysalis : Free to Fly

Paper back print version:

Out Of The Chrysalis: Free To Fly (click link for purchasing information)

Out of the Chrysalis : Free to Fly