Tag: storms of life

A bigger life….The Butterfly Life

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

Did you ever wonder what would happen if the storm you were living in suddenly began to subside?  Our storms of life have to eventually come to an end just as the recent “Perfect Storm” did.  It came in with a vengeance, ripping apart homes, cars, leaving people stranded and without power. In the blink of an eye it left a path of destruction and was gone.  I think a lot of us can compare our personal struggles with that very storm.

Some were prepared and other’s decided against fleeing their homes; forecasts were predicting what was to come, however other’s chose not to head the warning.   The storm left a definite path of destruction and  some scars that will take time to heal.  That is no different from what I went through in  MY storm.  I can continue comparing the destructive path of that storm with the destruction that my divorce left, OR I can focus on the strength and courage I gained while riding out the storm and where it has gotten me today.

I guarantee you that anyone who was in the eye of the recent weather will someday tell their story of strength, courage, and will to live.  It is very easy to lose sight of those things when you are living through or grieving over something terrible that happened.  It is usually not clear to those suffering that during the phases of grieving they are really growing and beginning their transformation.  I’ve seen signs along they way that I was healing but at times I still lacked the confidence that I was truly on a path toward my future.  Recently I was asked where I am in my grieving process and I had to stop and think.  I was surprised at how long it took me to reach an answer.  When I finally got it and spoke it out loud I did it with a smile on my face.  Sounds odd I know, but it showed me how strong I really have become.    At this point in my process I am in the “snap my fingers Hell No phase”! The “why did that person think they could do that to me?” phase.  I felt as strong as ever when I answered that question, along with feelings of hope that I am that much closer to having the wound healed.

It’s amazing, all I needed was one simple question to make me see the path I am currently on, the path to my future.  Just as the caterpillar when it breaks free from the cocoon realizes that it is on its way to a bigger life, the butterfly life.  I like to think that I am just beginning my butterfly life.  I can honestly say for the first time in a long time that I am HAPPY.  I can see possibilities ahead.  I know life is not perfect and I”m sure I will come up against a few rain showers here and there, but I’ve survived the “Perfect Storm”, I can survive anything after that.

I am ready to discover all of the capabilities that my new path has to offer.  I know what it feels like to be in the eye of the storm and cling to hope.  I also know what it feels like when the storm takes a horrible turn.  If I am faced with a storm again I will always chose hope rather than focusing on how bad the storm can get.  It is the hope that has gotten me where I am today.

Do you have a story of hope you can share?  Respond in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly 11/1/12

Related photos:

Storm Survivor

Related Blogs:

Surviving the Perfect Storm

The Storms of Life

 

 

I’ve been VALIDATED!

Published on by Kimberly Novak2 Comments

It is a frustrating feeling when you are unsure about something that you think is truth but you  have not been able to achieve getting concrete proof.  I have had doubts about something that happened in the past.  The reason I doubted myself at all is because it was not something that was tangible.  I couldn’t see it therefore maybe it didn’t really happen. Well, I was not expecting to ever really learn if my truth was actual and I have finally been provided with the confirmation I was hoping for. I am happy to say that I can now let go of every bit of that doubt.

Here is where it get’s tricky.  The information I was hoping for is also something that was very upsetting to me and really hard to take.  Even though deep down I knew it was the truth, getting that confirmation was a scary feeling because of the pain it caused me for so many years as well as in that moment.  I am Excited to report that it was in fact only a “moment”.  As soon as I realized that I was heading towards those horrible feelings of pain and hurt is when I realized that it wasn’t pain I should be feeling, it was VALIDATION.  I had been suffering for so long with my own doubts wondering if what I thought was the truth really was and in this “moment” I was Blessed with the truth.  Therefore, I did not slide down the slope of pain and hurt instead I stood proud in knowing that I had been Validated. If this has taught me anything, it is that I will forever trust my instincts even if I do not have concrete proof.  The worst that can happen is that I may be wrong, it is nothing compared to having feelings of doubt.

Sometimes  it is hard for us to be tuned into seeing the signs of something that is happening directly in front of our faces.  There were a few signs that were thrown into my face for many years but for some reason I didn’t see them coming.  I was obviously looking in another direction, but if I had seen the signs would it really have mattered?  I believe the answer to that question is YES.  Allowing myself to see the signs may not have changed the outcome but instead may have made it easier to handle.  We know that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason that it took me so long to finally be able to know the whole truth.  
Maybe someday I”ll know what that reason is or maybe not.  For me today it does not matter what the reason is or was because along with the validation came acceptance.  Now that I have the truth I have something tangible and I can choose to accept what happened and move forward.

Recently, today actually, I was again Blessed by a HUGE sign about something else going on in my life that I had wondered about.  I know that the only reason I was able to see it is because of what I went through.  I am now able to see the signs whether they are big or small and I will always allow them to be present in my life.  I am grateful that I was able to accept what happened in the past and begin to move forward.

So my friends I’d like to ask you.  Have you ever had the privilege of seeing your signs or had the validation experience?  If so how has it changed you?

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

4/22/12

Patience….

Published on by Kimberly Novak3 Comments

I have never been a patient person.  I’m the type that needs instant gratification no matter what the situation is.  For example if I purchase paint for a room, I’m painting that same day.  I’d like to read the end of the book before the first chapter just because I cannot wait to see how it ends!  Let’s look at the definition of patience:

1.  The quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation or the like.

2.  An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

3.  Quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care.

Let’s start breaking it down with #1.  My biggest test of being patient during misfortune and pain was during the divorce and I think my attorney will agree that I failed at that.  Here I was in an extremely stressful situation and there was no instant gratification in sight!  Unfortunately the court system calendar does not book court dates according to how stressed out the parties are.  Circumstances beyond my control caused me on many occasions to lose my temper, complain and be irritated.
#2.  Why would anyone in their right mind be wiling to accept delay? With today’s technology we have all been trained to do things and have things done quickly.  We all want faster computers, we expect fast food to be thrown at us out of the window as we drive by and if we are forced to sit and suppress that gratification we do so with cell phones in hand.
#3.  For me this is the definition that makes sense.  QUIET, STEADY, EVEN-TEMPERED CARE.  What do all of these words have in common?  They are all calming, happy, warm words.  We all become stressed when we are asked to be patient.  Just the phrase “be patient” can send one into a frenzy, it makes us nervous that we don’t know what is coming next.
If we can take a deep breath when we need to exercise patience and remember the key words, quiet, steady, even-tempered care it will help us to think about patience in a different light.  I wish I would have had those words two years ago, I may not have been so stressed out.  Also, take a look at the first two definitions; the word “annoyance” is used.  THAT is what I was focused on during my struggle and when you are annoyed you are stressed.  At the time it seemed like nothing was going my way and with every annoyance I was losing my patience.
Luckily for me once the divorce was final I had a support system in place to help me become quiet, steady and even-tempered and in turn I have learned to be patient.  Well for the most part anyway.
Most recently I am learning to ride out the events of my life and enjoy each and every moment.  I am embracing every new experience with a quiet, steady and even-tempered pace and I am a much happier person.  I no longer feel annoyed by not knowing what the end result will be and I am free to sit back and enjoy what is to come.  I no longer think of the hour-glass when I’m exercising my patience instead I am in a serene setting.
I don’t want to sound cliché but I highly recommend taking the time to smell the roses and let them bloom in their own time.
Kimberly
Courageous Butterfly
4/19/12