If you are a Facebook fan then you are aware of the section where you can choose to post your “life event”. Most times we see those that are shared for engagements, weddings, and milestone birthdays. I don’t recall seeing one for divorce, that may fall into the “it’s complicated” category of your status. Although there is one that says create your own. I ask you…have you ever seen anyone post their divorce as a life event?
The bigger question is, in today’s society with nearly 45% of marriages failing why isn’t divorce on that list? Being one of the most difficult life events, to survive I feel it should be recognized. One of the first three questions on every healthcare form, or job application asks for your marital status and divorce is an option on those forms.
My discussion today in regards to divorce being recognized as a life event stems directly from this blog. I took some time to think about why I started this site, what my initial purpose was and is it smart for me to keep it going? I’ve often wondered if looking back on my past was hindering my healing or moving forward. I started to reflect on the significance of certain events in life that truly change who you are and the path you were on and placed you somewhere you never thought you would be. Then I thought about where I might be had that particular life event never happen and I couldn’t see that part of my life. I closed my eyes and really tried to focus on my past, my marriage and tried to imagine what it would be like today…the mental page was blank.
I was upset at first, but then I sat down and started looking over the comments on this site. I read so many that started out by saying “thank you for writing this”. My first post on this site was not my hardest but it was the scariest. Not knowing how it would be received, would it be helpful to other’s as well as aid in my healing? Today I am proud to say it has been a very positive experience. Some posts were very hard and took a lot out of me, but those also seem to be the ones that were most received and helpful to those suffering the same experiences.
I’m a big believer of things happen for a reason, some may not happen the way we want, or how we ever imagined, but there is always going to be a reason.
I will never regret sitting here and typing my thoughts, fears, feelings, and sharing my tears, knowing that I may be offering someone out there a virtual hug, a listening ear, or just a calmness in knowing they are not alone.
So why not celebrate the life event that got me where I am today? I have a great job, family, a roof over my head and many new friends that were strategically placed on my path because of where my life took me. I found my passion for writing, which I never would have had the confidence to do without going through that life trial.
Mr. Mark Zuckerberg I would like Divorce to be placed on the Life Event section of Face Book please. (end of relationship doesn’t count).
Do you believe, the greatest trials of this life can also be your mercies in disguise? Please comment.
Kimberly
Courageous Butterfly
Related links/posts
I’m Still Learning, Lessonsfromtheendofamarriage
This week will mark the five year anniversary of my divorce. Needless to say my emotions are all over the place. December is a tough month, we would have been married 25 years and then toss in Christmas. Divorced and married in the same month does not bode well in the healing process.
If you have been feverishly looking for the post that was titled Swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool, I’m sorry to tell you it has sank like the Titanic. A first has happened…I wrote a horrible blog post and actually deleted it from my site! I was very scatterbrained, and all over the place. There were so many thoughts getting jumbled in my head that night, nothing came out on the page the way I wanted it to. So…. I hit DELETE!
So, back to the original post. A friend of mine recently told me that I was swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool. Let’s take a short pause here and interject some humor if you will. Imagine a pool with crystal blue water and it goes as deep as the sea. The sun should be shining, but the day is presenting with a soft light rain. The air is slightly warm and there is a mild breeze. The water is perfect, warm and soothing. Life is great, happiness is overflowing and then it hits…….I can’t swim!!!
Out of the Chrysalis 