Tag: motivational

Facing Fear

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

At the beginning of  May I wrote  a post about fear and a leap of faith.  Within that post I mentioned being in Hawaii and snorkeling with the fish and how much fun it was once I had allowed myself to face that fear.  Well, this week I found an underwater camera I had forgotten to get developed.  I was so excited to see all the beautiful pictures I had taken that day.  I remember being pretty nervous in the open water but I never anticipated how nervous I actually looked.  I had managed to snap a photo of myself underwater and I was stunned to see the fear in my eyes; a midst the happy memories of my trip I had forgotten about the fear I had to face in order to get there.

Surprisingly, what I remember about that day is not that I was afraid.  I remember the brilliantly blue sky; how fun it was to kayak in the open water; being among my friends; and how beautiful nature is.  Those are my memories, the picture however, tells a completely different story.  I can see the fear in my face; the wide-set eyes; the wrinkles on my forehead; and the general look of shock.  So why can’t I remember the fear that I was obviously facing?

I believe it has to do with the outcome.  Think about it, if you take yourself back to a time when you were afraid and it did not turn out the way you wanted you will always remember feeling that fear and it will force you to not want to go down that road again.  For example my first roller-coaster ride did not go so well.  I was with someone who was 6ft 4″, I am 4ft 11″; because of our height difference the lap bar would not hold me in securely and with each hill I thought for sure I was going to fall out.  I never went on another roller-coaster again.  The memory of that moment is complete and utter fear and I would not dare to face it again.

So why is the snorkeling different?  I can see in the pic I was terrified and I remember how I felt leading up to that moment before I leaped off the kayak, but I would definitely do it again, because it had a good outcome. My reward was seeing the vibrant colors of the fish below me; how softly the water flowed over me as I paddled along; and being truly happy once I resolved to sticking my face in the water and actually looking at the beauty that surrounded me.

We can’t always know how things are going to turn out, and I had several of those instances during my divorce, but there have been rewards.  I can’t say I have good memories of what I went through but that situation has produced different kinds of rewards.  I have become who I was meant to be; gained confidence in myself as a woman, and mother; strengthened bonds with family; met some amazing people; re-kindled some past relationships; and most importantly learned that facing fear will not kill me!

We all have different fears, public speaking (myself included); water; heights; karaoke; spiders; snakes; boats; airplanes, the list can go on forever.  There is one fear that we all have in common and that is Facing It!  Admit it, each one of us is afraid to face fear no matter how small or large it  is.  It is a natural instinct to be afraid of something you are not sure about.  

Imagine how disappointed I would have been had I not jumped into the water that day.  I would’ve been forced to stay in the kayak and watch my friends making their rewarding memories.  I am extremely happy with the choice I made.  I can honestly say that I am happy that I was able to face my fears of my life trial as well.  Even though it did not have the same outcome, it has made a positive impact in my life and I’m so proud  that I can now see what they are.

I’d love for you to share your fears and outcomes!

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

6/10/12

Featured post in eBook will be……….

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

All The Kings Horses has received the most votes and highest ratings and will be the featured post in the eBook.   If you haven’t had the chance to read it make sure you check it out.

Watch for updates on this as I may ask for more reader responses as I put the eBook together.

New post coming later tonight, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Mom’s and Mom’s to be!

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

5/13/12

FEAR, a 4 letter word or a leap of faith?

Published on by Kimberly Novak10 Comments

I was stopped at a red light today and had the pleasure of watching a black bird dodging cars while trying to get to a bag full of crackers someone had tossed out into the road.   As I sat for that brief moment I thought “wow that takes guts!”  I watched the bird sitting patiently on the curbside waiting for each car to pass then it would leap out into the street only to be forced to retreat back to safety before reaching its goal.  Sound familiar?

I think we can all relate to being in that same situation.  Life get’s tough and when it does our natural instinct is to pull ourselves back to a place where we feel safe and secure.  The black bird was not giving up.  I was only able to watch for a few minutes but in that time the little gal/guy tried to reach those crackers at least 10 times.  I can probably bet that the goal was to reach the food on the first try, however it was not possible due to the many obstacles in its way.  Those obstacles did not seem to bother the bird in any way, and I know had I been able to continue to watch I would’ve seen it finally persevere.

Fear can be a very scary word and in most cases I would generally try to steer clear of anything that caused me to feel fearful.  I didn’t have that luxury when it came time to face what I was going through.  Divorce was hard enough but I was dealing with more than one fear during my trial.  Fear of  my new living arrangements, fear of moving forward, and fear of letting go of what I once had.  Every situation is different but for me I was not prepared or ready to say goodbye to that part of my life.  That is a scary feeling and is felt in any type of loss.  I was stuck and forced to face it all head on.  I had to realize that what I had been fearing for many years was actually true and it was happening.   What I didn’t know was how finally accepting that fear would make me stronger.  I use the word accepting rather than facing because it was a situation I could not control, it was part of my life and I had to accept it.  Just like the black bird had to accept the fact that its next meal was in that bag in the road and the only way to continue on with life was to finally get to it.   I had to live through my fears in order to become who I am today.

Facing a fear is a bit different.  For instance last year  I faced a few fears.  I went body surfing in the ocean and I cannot swim!  I zip lined in Hawaii and I”m afraid of heights and then I decided to snorkel  with real  fish, again in the ocean. I had a lot of fun doing those things but did they make me a stronger person?  Probably not but accepting my fears, living through them, and preserving is what made me stronger.   We can all be that little black bird and instead of worrying about facing our fears we can make the choice to accept them and grow stronger through them.

It’s been two years since I first accepted fear and I am proud to say that in doing so I have become a much stronger person.  I still have my moments of weakness but because I took that chance and let myself accept fear I know I can survive it.  Afterall, it’s just a silly 4 letter word.

I’m going to steal this quote from the movie New Year’s Eve.  ” What would YOU do today if you knew you were NOT going to fail? GO DO IT”.

Have you taken a Leap of Faith? Share your experience in the comment box.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

5/3/12