Tag: getting on with life

Extra, Extra, Read all about it…..the eBook is PUBLISHED!!!

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

It’s done!, It’s Done!, It’s DONE!!!!

After two years of writing, while living through it, I finally have the eBook completed and published.  I have to say it is an amazing feeling and I certainly understand why it takes so long for books to be complete.  This is just a simple 30 page eBook and it took me almost the entire day  just to upload it to the publishing site.  A print version will be available very soon for those of use non-computer savvy people.

I need to give some shout out’s here, first to my editor…Christopher Woodside I can’t begin to express my gratitude for all the work you did on this project, not only with the editing but also with getting me through some really rough times.   Asking you to edit the book seemed  logical to me because you saw me through each and every word on those pages.  I will be forever grateful.

Second goes out to Tracie Louise Photography for providing the cover pic at a very reasonable price two years ago when this project was just a glimmer in my eyes.

Next I need to thank David Hall Page for your generous, fabulous, sweet yet comical forward.  You are also someone who has gotten me through some “crap” as you put it and it means a lot to me to have you part of this project.

Finally but not in the least my family, friends, and spiritual advisors…you all know who you are!  But if you want to see your name in print I’ll throw out a few, here goes:  Michelle, Susan, Chuck. Rachel, my lovely children, Mom, Daddy, Michael, Phyllis, Elizabeth, and my awesome co-workers.

So without further ado I proudly announce

eBook Version:

Out Of The Chrysalis:  Free To Fly  (click link for purchasing information)

Out of the Chrysalis : Free to Fly

Paper back print version:

Out Of The Chrysalis: Free To Fly (click link for purchasing information)

Out of the Chrysalis : Free to Fly

 

Waging War With Emotions

Published on by Kimberly Novak10 Comments

picking-yourself-upWhat happens when you are at war with your feelings, emotions and inner self?  Someone has to win and lately I feel like I am not in the driver’s seat when it comes to my feelings.   As a survivor of a huge loss, I know there will be periods of up and down and even some all around days, but this time I am growing angry because I have found myself in one of those moments.

I know I can’t speed my healing along, however there are times when I really don’t want to be feeling the way I am, this week has been one of those times.  Tomorrow marks an anniversary of a big step that my ex took in his new relationship and it is eating away at me from the inside out.  I have blogged about this topic before in a post I did two years ago on the actual day. ( Sometimes Broken Can Be Beautiful)  I talked about how I had survived a day that I thought was going to be extremely painful but circumstances of MY day led me in a different direction.  So why now?  Why this week a couple of years later am I feeling like it just happened?

I’ve been trying to analyze the circumstance to see why it is so upsetting to me, other than the obvious of course.  I haven’t been much help to myself in thinking about it so I’m trying to rationalize it but I’m not having luck there either.  If I look at the senses that contribute to memory I come up empty.   I do not have a visual memory nor did I actually hear what was going on in the moment; it’s not like I could touch or smell anything from that day either.  I’m still left with the big WHY?

How is this memory, that is not mine in the first place, able to be so haunting?  I have tried and tried to change my focus this week and it all comes back to that impending date.  If it was possible to erase a day from the calendar, out of all the painful days I have had I have to admit I would erase that anniversary.

Here is my logical explanation, however logical it may or may not be.  I spent 20 years married to my childhood sweetheart, my only true love, and on that one day, in possibly a brief hour, my heart was broken.  Yes it was damaged during the divorce and everything that led up to it and even in the days following, but this one event was the icing on the cake so to speak.

So now I am at this point where I can see why I am reacting this way, how do I stop it?  I’m sure someday this month and date will roll in and not be such a big storm for me, but in the meantime how do I embrace it so that it does not tear me up inside?   As I write this tonight,  I am sitting in my lovely pink office, (yes pink with glitter), candles are lit and I’m reminding myself to relax.  I look up and focus on the oil painted butterfly that hangs above my desk and I am reminded of why I love the butterfly.  STRENGTH, COURAGE, TRANSFORMATION and RE-BIRTH.

All of those qualities that I cling to with the butterfly are what I will have to use to get myself through.  I will need the strength to not let myself get so upset; the courage to stand up against my feelings and tell myself that I will be OK; transformation will happen with each year I am faced with this pending date; and re-birth will happen on that day that I no longer remember what it meant.calm

As far as the war goes, I’ve won because I’ve acknowledged that I still need to heal from this.  My inner-self is waving a white flag because it knows that as long as I am honest with myself, and continue the work on my healing, those feelings do not stand a chance.

Have you fought with your inner emotions?  Please comment

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

3/19/14

Free To Be Me, Francesca Battistelli

You Transform You, KFMUELLER

Little One, Where The Clouds Talk and The Trees Whisper

Broken;Welcomed, Just Me, No More Or Less

Its The Little Things

Published on by Kimberly Novak2 Comments

little thingsWe all know how to take things for granted in life, some better than other’s and I”ll admit that I have done it as well.  Recently I have noticed that I am missing some of the little things of my marriage.  A morning smile, sharing a cup of coffee, or just a simple hug before beginning my day.  I was really in a funk wishing I had someone to share all those things with, but upon about five minutes of reflecting on my past I can honestly say that I don’t think I ever had many of the little things while in my marriage.

So if I didn’t have them then, why am I missing them so much now?  How do I know what it is I’m missing?  A wonderful roommate was graciously dropped into my home and in spending time with her day in and day out is when I noticed that I really enjoyed sharing those little things with another person.  I like having conversation in the morning over a cup of coffee.  Having an actual conversation with someone while preparing dinner who is over the age of 14 is fantastic!

It’s given me a chance to really think about some of the other little things I may want to share with someone down the road, and it’s showed me how important they are.  Just because they are called “the little things” does not mean that they should not carry as much importance as some of the “bigger things”.

When I look back now I wish we would have shared more of those tiny moments because they would have been more meaningful than the times that we thought were more important.

Going back is not an option so for me; all I can do is take note of how I’m feeling about those little things, and make sure I am aware of just how important they are to me.  This way I am assured of making them meaningful in any future relationships.  My little things will actually be the biggest part of any new relationship.  I will make sure that they are known and that whoever I am with is ready and willing to share them with me.  Enjoy the Little Things

I”m making my list and I”m checking it three times, twice is not enough.  I am keeping track of when I notice that little something missing from my life and I will move it to the top of the list.  This way nothing get’s forgotten, nothing will be overlooked, and I will have all that to look forward to when getting to know that special person.

Is any one else out there keeping a list of those little but important things that are missing from your life?  Please respond in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

3/16/14

Related Blogs/Links

Keep Holding On, Avril Lavene

Little Things, Bruised Reed Blessed

Self-Actualization at 23, M.D.