Tag: comforting

X Marks The Spot

Published on by Kimberly Novak4 Comments

We’ve all heard the phrase “buyer’s remorse”.    It is described as a feeling one get’s shortly after a large purchase is made.  A feeling comes over you and you begin to second guess your decision.    I haven’t made a large purchase lately but I did make a big decision that gave me that same type of feeling.  I felt relieved, satisfied and  happy.  I had no regrets I knew I was doing what I needed to do for ME; which is something that I usually do not do.  Up until this point in my life  I’ve always considered other’s before considering what I need.  So for the first time in my life I made this decision based on what Kimberly needs.

When I divorced I moved from my family home into an adorable little condo.    I knew being in something smaller would be a perfect backdrop for getting used my new life.  It has proved to be true.  The surroundings are beautiful, the amenities are perfect for me and the location could not be better.   Recently it came time to decide where to “plant my feet”.  At this point  I don’t feel that I am ready to make a major life changing decision like that.  I am still growing into this newer version of myself as well as healing and I  do not know where it is going to lead me.  My mind and body need to take some time away from more stress and we all know how stressful moving can be.  So what’s the problem?  Well the only issue is the size of my cute little space.  This is where my decision got difficult and I had mixed emotions over choosing a bigger place for my family when they are with me, or making the decision based on only my needs.  My mom hormones were quickly out numbering Kimberly’s and for a while I was convinced I had to move.  If I were to describe how I was feeling when I realized that this decision needed to be made solely on what I needed  some of the words would be:  heartbroken, confused, nervous, sad, anxious.  It was painful for me to make a decision only for what I wanted, so I had to make the decision based on what I needed in order to continue healing, growing and making a positive transition in my life.

I know that if I am going to continue on a positive path  I cannot keep putting additional stress on top of what is already there.  I need to make sure that I am content, happy, and somewhat stress free in order to make a healthy progression in my healing.  Therefore  as hard as it was to do,  I made a decision for ME this time.

The weather was beautiful yesterday and I decided to take a walk around my complex and in doing so I was looking around and again second guessing my decision.  I was trying to put the negative thoughts about it out of my head when a song called Blue Sky came on my I pod.  Hearing those words immediately forced me to look up and to my surprise…in the big blue sky…. was an X!  I stopped in my tracks and just smiled and said “X marks the spot”.   This was my relief that I have made the right decision; and it was a wonderful sight to see.  I know that I am right where I am supposed to be in my journey and I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to remain in a place where I can be happy, confident and content.  I’m sure we will have a few adjustments to make but what is most important is that the surroundings and the situation make it possible for continued healing and positive transition for all of us.

Wherever you are in your journey do not second guess your decisions.  I am learning that the ones that are the hardest to make usually are the ones that will make a positive effect on your life.

here is a link to the song Blue Sky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUUTDcIvC9o&feature=fvst

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

4/14/12

Getting Out Of The FUNK!

Published on by Kimberly Novak5 Comments

Feeling blue?  Not sure how to get out of that “funky feeling”?  I hear ya!  No matter what may be going on in your life, big or small, it sometimes is very hard to get yourself up and out of  feeling down.  I have to share a quote with you that came from a very good friend of mine this week.    I had been stating how I was feeling at the beginning of this week and my friend said “it’s time to pull yourself up by the bra-straps and let the transformed Kimberly back in”.  Over the past couple of weeks the way I was feeling was allowing my old self, the defeated self to creep back into my life.  I was becoming depressed and very unhappy. My friend knew not to sugar coat the words and tell me point-blank to get out of this mood and continue on the path to renewing who Kimberly is.

I explained that I needed to take a little time just to process the feelings I was having, but I also did need that reminder that if I stay in the “funk” for too long, it could move me backwards.  It’s not easy to think about when we are dealing with emotions that are upsetting but it is so  important that we do.  I was reminded that I have become a stronger person and I cannot let these emotions take that away from me.     Ignoring the emotions we are feeling will not work,  it is important to move through them no matter what the situation is and the key is to know when enough is enough and put that emotion behind you.  If you are dealing with a loss of a loved one,  a marriage, or a relationship you will have many emotions to deal with and you never know when they will pop up.

I’ve been divorced for more than a year and I still have these emotions that pop up and I’m learning how to process them.  The fact that I know I need to process them and move forward is what matters the most.  When you find yourself struggling over an issue, emotion or fear remember to feel it, let it go and move forward.   I made a promise to myself and I encourage you to do so as well.  

“Do NOT let what you have been through defeat you, for if we remain confident in ourselves we will continue to be lifted up”

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

4/4/12

What If?

Published on by Kimberly Novak2 Comments

A lot of times when we go through change or a hard time in our lives we sometimes wonder “what if”?  Just last week a face book friend posed the question “if you could go back and change something what would it be?”  I honestly said nothing!  Even though times have been hard recently and there are some things I have gone through that I wish I hadn’t, those things have made me who I am today.   I’m a firm believer of everything happens for a reason but when you are in the thick of things those reasons are sometimes hard to see.  My reasons are my kids I could not imagine life without them and I know that they are here because of the decisions I have made in my life and I would not change a thing.  I know I’m not alone in feeling that way, most of us who have been through a life changing event can say exactly what the reason is, but deep down we will all wonder…what if?

My “what if'” thoughts lately have been:  What if I had found out about things sooner?  I wonder what life would have been like being single several years ago.   Where would I be? What would I be? Who would I know?   There is a lot that has happened over the past two weeks that I never imagined would’ve taken place in my life but it did and I have to face it.  Sometimes “facing it” is the hard part.  I’m seeing that now.  I had been able to “face” the divorce, the move, the job, the new surroundings but for some reason “facing” the event of my ex making his new life official has been really hard on me.

I’ve been on a roller coaster of sorts lately with my emotions which is not like me.   Usually I can find where I’m at and move past it, but for some reason this “event” has a hold on me.  Our relationship ended with our divorce but I fee like I’m going through it all over again.  I have to admit  that sucks!  Going through it once was enough but having these emotions again has forced me to really stop and think about things.  Am I where I want to be? Am I what I want to be?  Do I know who I want to know?

My answer is YES.  I know I will continue to have moments of sadness and will most likely shed many more tears but even so I am right where I am supposed to be.  I love my job, I love my relationship with my kids, I love where I am living, and I love the people who have entered my life because of what I went through.  Would I have chosen the bad things to have happened in my life?  No, but I would not go back and change any of it because without all of the negative I would not have the positive that I have today.

We will always wonder “what If” but what matters most is “what Is”

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

4/1/12