We’ve all heard the phrase “buyer’s remorse”. It is described as a feeling one get’s shortly after a large purchase is made. A feeling comes over you and you begin to second guess your decision. I haven’t made a large purchase lately but I did make a big decision that gave me that same type of feeling. I felt relieved, satisfied and happy. I had no regrets I knew I was doing what I needed to do for ME; which is something that I usually do not do. Up until this point in my life I’ve always considered other’s before considering what I need. So for the first time in my life I made this decision based on what Kimberly needs.
When I divorced I moved from my family home into an adorable little condo. I knew being in something smaller would be a perfect backdrop for getting used my new life. It has proved to be true. The surroundings are beautiful, the amenities are perfect for me and the location could not be better. Recently it came time to decide where to “plant my feet”. At this point I don’t feel that I am ready to make a major life changing decision like that. I am still growing into this newer version of myself as well as healing and I do not know where it is going to lead me. My mind and body need to take some time away from more stress and we all know how stressful moving can be. So what’s the problem? Well the only issue is the size of my cute little space. This is where my decision got difficult and I had mixed emotions over choosing a bigger place for my family when they are with me, or making the decision based on only my needs. My mom hormones were quickly out numbering Kimberly’s and for a while I was convinced I had to move. If I were to describe how I was feeling when I realized that this decision needed to be made solely on what I needed some of the words would be: heartbroken, confused, nervous, sad, anxious. It was painful for me to make a decision only for what I wanted, so I had to make the decision based on what I needed in order to continue healing, growing and making a positive transition in my life.
I know that if I am going to continue on a positive path I cannot keep putting additional stress on top of what is already there. I need to make sure that I am content, happy, and somewhat stress free in order to make a healthy progression in my healing. Therefore as hard as it was to do, I made a decision for ME this time.
The weather was beautiful yesterday and I decided to take a walk around my complex and in doing so I was looking around and again second guessing my decision. I was trying to put the negative thoughts about it out of my head when a song called Blue Sky came on my I pod. Hearing those words immediately forced me to look up and to my surprise…in the big blue sky…. was an X! I stopped in my tracks and just smiled and said “X marks the spot”. This was my relief that I have made the right decision; and it was a wonderful sight to see. I know that I am right where I am supposed to be in my journey and I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to remain in a place where I can be happy, confident and content. I’m sure we will have a few adjustments to make but what is most important is that the surroundings and the situation make it possible for continued healing and positive transition for all of us.
Wherever you are in your journey do not second guess your decisions. I am learning that the ones that are the hardest to make usually are the ones that will make a positive effect on your life.
here is a link to the song Blue Sky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUUTDcIvC9o&feature=fvst
4 thoughts on “X Marks The Spot”
Kim you have such a way with words and a way to inspire others. I think you are truly finding your calling. So proud of you!
Thank you Rosemary. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it is I am being called to do. I’d really like to pursue inspirational writing. While we are on the subject of finding your calling I’d like to as my readers to comment on what your true calling is and have you pursued it? What was the outcome?
Can’t wait to hear your comments.
Kimberly has inspired me so many times and she does again in this blog–before reading this story i was questioning my new found freedom of happiness. Happiness is a odd feeling to gauge. What makes me happy may not make someone else happy. How can you be happy when it makes someone else sad. How responsible should i feel for someone else happiness. To many questions were going thru my mind and all I knew is that i was happy. I just made a hard decision in my life but i beleive it will be one of thhe most positive decisions that will bring me happiness and blueskys. Bob
Thank you so much for your comment. I’d like to open this up for discussion with my readers. How many of you have been forced to make a very hard decision that ended up being positive and possibly the best decision you have ever made? Please share with us what your decision was and how it has changed your life for the better.
Looking forward to your comments.