Author: Kimberly Novak

It was recently brought to my attention that it would seem I have my life in somewhat of an order.  It will be three years this August since my life came tumbling down and only a year has gone by since the divorce was final.   I will admit I still have my moments and they are not easy to overcome but I’ve come to accept that they will always be there.  Though the pain will lesson and the sting will subside as time goes by,  it’s something I will always carry with me.

Some have wondered how I’ve been able to move forward.  We have already discussed that everyone transforms at their own speed and for me I think I am moving at a reasonable pace. When I was at my worst I could have chosen to remain in that little ball in my kitchen and dwell on what had happened to me; but I chose to look ahead to what my future holds.

I will say a lot of it has to do with my faith, but also the fact that I’ve lived probably close to half my life and I don’t want to waste anymore time sitting around dwelling on the past.  I am so curious to see what lies ahead for me!  It’s exciting for me to move forward finding all sorts of surprises along the way.  Like the fact that my new job is giving me so much joy and the new friendships I have because of where my life has taken me that might not have been there otherwise.   Of course it won’t all be good as I found out this weekend with the passing of my grandma there will be bumps along this road.  But look at the gift I’ve been given to change my life and re-discover myself!  I’m ready to take the bull by the horns and just go for it and move forward.

At this point my life is not perfect, I’m still dealing with the emotional side of things.   I am confident in my choice to let go of what I can, reflect on what is still bothering me and continue to stay on the path that will bring positive change to my future.

Courageous Butterfly

1/25/12

A Butterfly Memorial Poem

A rush of wings
they flutter high
to touch the sun
and kiss the sky
A butterfly
is with us now
No more a caterpillar
upon a leaf
Our Dear Catherine  with angel wings
A soaring butterfly
with us they sing

I was driving home from work yesterday and the song that was playing really touched me.   The lyrics said:

 ” For I’ve one life to live, one chance to find a newer, better me, the old one left behind”

Those words made me realize that YES what I went through was horrible, but I”ve also been given a new chance to find myself!  We do only have one life to live and it’s up to US to make the most of it.  I am still sad and upset about what I had to go through but I’ve accepted that I will feel that way for quite some time; at the same time Im also embracing the opportunity to move forward.  I”ve been given a wonderful gift, a second chance to reinvent myself and become the person I was meant to be.

I’d like to belive that I have begun to find the newer, better me.  My first step was to go back to my maiden name.  Step two was a job which led me in a direction that I did not imagine I’d be going in, and I”m extremely happy.  Step three is taking the time to reflect on my past, present and what I would like to see in my future.  I”m doing  that a little bit each day. 

I encourage you to also take a moment to reflect on where you are in your journey.  Think about taking your one chance to find the newer, better you, the old one left behind.

If you would like to listen to the entire song I”ll post the video link below.  It’s Laura Story’s One Life to Lose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuQxmRTEq9I&feature=related

Courageous Butterfly 1/15/12