It was recently brought to my attention that it would seem I have my life in somewhat of an order. It will be three years this August since my life came tumbling down and only a year has gone by since the divorce was final. I will admit I still have my moments and they are not easy to overcome but I’ve come to accept that they will always be there. Though the pain will lesson and the sting will subside as time goes by, it’s something I will always carry with me.
Some have wondered how I’ve been able to move forward. We have already discussed that everyone transforms at their own speed and for me I think I am moving at a reasonable pace. When I was at my worst I could have chosen to remain in that little ball in my kitchen and dwell on what had happened to me; but I chose to look ahead to what my future holds.
I will say a lot of it has to do with my faith, but also the fact that I’ve lived probably close to half my life and I don’t want to waste anymore time sitting around dwelling on the past. I am so curious to see what lies ahead for me! It’s exciting for me to move forward finding all sorts of surprises along the way. Like the fact that my new job is giving me so much joy and the new friendships I have because of where my life has taken me that might not have been there otherwise. Of course it won’t all be good as I found out this weekend with the passing of my grandma there will be bumps along this road. But look at the gift I’ve been given to change my life and re-discover myself! I’m ready to take the bull by the horns and just go for it and move forward.
At this point my life is not perfect, I’m still dealing with the emotional side of things. I am confident in my choice to let go of what I can, reflect on what is still bothering me and continue to stay on the path that will bring positive change to my future.
Courageous Butterfly
1/25/12
Out of the Chrysalis 
I agree completely! I am at an age now where I am excited to see what life has to offer. Even though there are big changes on the horizon they excite me rather than frighten me!! I believe it all has to do with perspective! Still praying for all of you and hope you were all able to get some rest and laugh and cry together! Had so much fun given the circumstances. Love you all,
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Clarica thanks for your comment! I wanted to respond to what you said about being excited rather than frightened by change. I think it’s important to note that I do still have fear of change as most people do but I’m using that fear as fuel to push me towards making positive changes. Once I started looking fear in the face is when I realized I was becoming a stronger person.
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