I bought a new dress!! When I tried it on in the store I thought it looked great. I even asked another shopper what she thought and she told me it was a keeper! I went to the event today with a somewhat moderate level of self-esteem thinking I looked halfway decent. The dress fit me well, and I felt it hid any imperfections that I was not willing to show. Well, to my surprise I received this comment
” Wow, that dress looks great on you, it really shows off your curves.” The only word I heard was “curves”.
My initial reaction was that this person has just told me that the dress makes me look fat! Ya, I know just like a woman to think that way. I thought I had picked a dress that hid all of that. I’m sure that’s not what she meant when she said the word curves. I was looking at myself through my eyes, not hers. I wonder if I took a moment to see myself through her eyes would I see the same beauty in the dress? That got me thinking. If we take the time to hide our physical imperfections under our clothing, what else are we hiding? Maybe the physical things we see as imperfections, do not look that way to someone else. In turn, maybe any emotional imperfections we are keeping held in would be more beneficial if we let them out.
This is going to sound silly since I type out all of my feelings into this blog, but I have to say I am guilty of holding in those emotional imperfections that I don’t want other’s to know about. Take for instance when I first started seeing my counselor. I would intentionally withhold information just because I didn’t want him to see what was really going on inside. It’s no different from hiding extra bumps and bulges under our clothing.
We hold things in because we are afraid of the reactions of those around us. I held in a lot during the divorce because I needed to maintain the image of strength around my family and most of all my kids. As I look back now though I’m wondering if I did them more harm than good? I say that because once the divorce was over, and I no longer felt the need to stay strong, they kind of saw the emotional side all at once. If I put that into the perspective of showing any physical imperfections all at once it makes me shudder!
So how do we train ourselves to be able to share those imperfections with other’s? I’m still in the process of that myself. As far as the physical side goes, the end of a relationship will literally demolish your self-esteem. Now that I am dating that is slowly coming back but it has not been easy. As for the emotional imperfections, the outlet of this blog has helped me immensely!
There are other ways to be comfortable with our little imperfections. I highly recommend keeping a journal, talking with someone you can trust, mediation and prayer. As far as the physical side goes, I think I looked darn good in that dress and I can now say that since it shows my curves I guess I have set them free. Exercising in a group is always helpful when we are trying to hide. There is more support in a group setting and having someone to celebrate your goals with is always a plus.
I’d love for you to share how you have freed yourself from your little imperfections by allowing other’s into your heart. Please comment below.
Courageous Butterfly 8/5/12