Tag: motivational

From The Bottom Of My Heart

Published on by Kimberly Novak1 Comment

thank you wordle

I want to take a moment to say thank you to my awesome readers for the kind words you have said in your comments on my posts.  Most recently there was a comment on how open and honest my articles are.   I have to admit it is very easy for me to be totally honest when I”m writing. It is almost the only time that my feelings are in a way completely naked. Something happens within me and the words just flow from my heart to the keys and before I know it I have put words to the way I am feeling.

I ended up going to a Christian concert last night last-minute and I am so glad I did. I was able to hear some of the artists speak and one in particular stood out. He spoke of writing the songs and said that their songs are words of experiences they all have gone through. In a sense their journal. He stated that if someone would critique their song, they were actually critiquing the personal journals of each band member.

That is exactly what I am trying to accomplish with my blog. I am putting all of myself out there because that is what I needed in the heat of my divorce, and still to this day. I find comfort in knowing that I may help someone else and at the same time I am cleansing and healing with each word that is written.

Reading your kind comments keeps me from worrying if I’m telling too much, sometimes I think maybe I’ve said more than I needed to in order to get the point across and other times I don’t think I’ve said enough.  You may be surprised to learn that usually the days when I”m struggling the most with my inner feelings, those are the posts that are the easiest to write.  When I stop and think about that now, it’s because in those moments my heart is at it’s most vulnerable.  heartjournal

I’ve been working hard on the eBook and it is just about ready for publication, and I cannot wait for you all to read it, I will welcome your comments with open ears, eyes, and of course my heart.  

Thank you for your continued support, prayers and blessings.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

3/21/14

 

Its The Little Things

Published on by Kimberly Novak2 Comments

little thingsWe all know how to take things for granted in life, some better than other’s and I”ll admit that I have done it as well.  Recently I have noticed that I am missing some of the little things of my marriage.  A morning smile, sharing a cup of coffee, or just a simple hug before beginning my day.  I was really in a funk wishing I had someone to share all those things with, but upon about five minutes of reflecting on my past I can honestly say that I don’t think I ever had many of the little things while in my marriage.

So if I didn’t have them then, why am I missing them so much now?  How do I know what it is I’m missing?  A wonderful roommate was graciously dropped into my home and in spending time with her day in and day out is when I noticed that I really enjoyed sharing those little things with another person.  I like having conversation in the morning over a cup of coffee.  Having an actual conversation with someone while preparing dinner who is over the age of 14 is fantastic!

It’s given me a chance to really think about some of the other little things I may want to share with someone down the road, and it’s showed me how important they are.  Just because they are called “the little things” does not mean that they should not carry as much importance as some of the “bigger things”.

When I look back now I wish we would have shared more of those tiny moments because they would have been more meaningful than the times that we thought were more important.

Going back is not an option so for me; all I can do is take note of how I’m feeling about those little things, and make sure I am aware of just how important they are to me.  This way I am assured of making them meaningful in any future relationships.  My little things will actually be the biggest part of any new relationship.  I will make sure that they are known and that whoever I am with is ready and willing to share them with me.  Enjoy the Little Things

I”m making my list and I”m checking it three times, twice is not enough.  I am keeping track of when I notice that little something missing from my life and I will move it to the top of the list.  This way nothing get’s forgotten, nothing will be overlooked, and I will have all that to look forward to when getting to know that special person.

Is any one else out there keeping a list of those little but important things that are missing from your life?  Please respond in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

3/16/14

Related Blogs/Links

Keep Holding On, Avril Lavene

Little Things, Bruised Reed Blessed

Self-Actualization at 23, M.D.

 

 

Emotional Glacier

Published on by Kimberly Novak8 Comments

small-iceberg-wFrozen:  It’s the beginning of March and we are still being gifted by mother nature with ice and snow.

Frozen: The Oscar nominated song Let It Go, in 2014, a hit for little girls everywhere.

Frozen:  The Disney Movie which defines Love as: “Love,” the character states, “is putting someone else’s needs before your own.” The definition is not only key to the story’s surprising climax, but also biblically solid. For the Scriptures tell us, “Greater love has no one than this: than he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

Frozen: Webster defines it as, frigid, very cold, obstructed by ice.

It’s amazing how one word can have so many different meanings.  So why am I stuck on this very cold, sometimes debilitating word?  Because in the last few years I have had many circumstances where I felt, or wanted to be frozen.  There were times during my trial when something would happen and the result would cause me to feel trapped and out of control of my circumstances.  In those moments I was literally frozen, in that I was not able to do anything to change the outcome.  I was physically and emotionally frozen.

Lately, I feel like I am stuck, I”m sitting on a very large piece of ice in the middle of nowhere, an emotional glacier.  It’s strange because for a while now I have not had any issues with releasing my feelings but for some reason I find myself wanting to hold things in again.  We all know that holding in feelings is never a good idea and that came to pass for me last week.  Now that I can see it though I am committed to working through whatever it is that I am holding on to.  From the lips of a very dear woman “It’s OK to not be OK”.

The last few days I have been trying to figure out what it is that has me trapped on this current glacier.  Other than the obvious, there is an anniversary (not mine) that does seem to be at the forefront of my mind.  It’s something that  I knew I would never be “OK” with, but something I thought I had moved past.  Divorce is truly the death of a relationship and unfortunately for me, I am still in mourning.

 

I know I have made a lot of progress in my healing but then I have these surprises creep up on me and throw me right back onto that glacier where I have an emotional explosion!  The hard part is not to feel like I’m right back at the beginning.  I need to put all those other explosions behind me and just focus on the one that has me on this current block of ice.  Also hard, is to let it all out; finding someone to confide in and tell all of this too.  I have been through three counselors since my divorce; they keep leaving, maybe I need to look into that! (ha ha)  Most importantly though is recognizing when you are feeling isolated on the glacier before it’s too late and you are piled up high one on top the other before the damn breaks.  let it go

In the words of Disney’s Frozen….LET IT GO!  Let it all in and then let it all out.  We have to remember that tears are healing and it’s OK.  Keeping in mind also not to be angry with yourself when you get to these moments.  My first reaction was how angry I was at  because I am still holding on to some of these issues, but then I realized its because I haven’t let them go from my heart.  They are still there because they still cause hurt, and I need to face them in order to release them.

I have been living in the biggest storm of my life, there may be nothing harder than this.  It is going to take time, patience, understanding, love, faith, and hope to guide me towards being healed.  I have no idea how long it will take, or if I ever will be completely over everything that I went through.  For now I know that it’s OK for me not to be OK, and I need to let other’s around me know when I am feeling that way.  It’s not healthy to be alone on that block of ice, the more people I let in and the more I talk about it, the quicker that ice will melt and I will be free of it.   I have to admit when I first pictured myself sitting on a glacier and it was melting away, I felt panic!  What if I”m not ready?  What if it melts and I drown?  Well, the people around, us, those helping us, will be our life jackets.  They will make sure that we are safe to swim and they will lead us safely to the shore.

Do you feel trapped on your own emotional glacier?  Respond in the comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

3/2/14

Related topics/blogs

Let It Go, Frozen

Dream Glacier, Tony Crisp

Let It Go, momofthreelivinginbfe

Seeing Emotions, Enchanted Heart