My Empty Suitcase


suitcase1September 5, 2013 may have been a normal day for most, for me it was life changing.  It was a typical day after work, I came home checked the blog and was ready to respond to the comments, never expecting what I was seeing on the screen.

Someone was hurting and  reaching out.  I wanted to jump through the computer and find her, hold her, cry with her and help her. For a brief moment I was paralyzed and did not know what to do, but my emotions took over and I was on the case!

Sometimes sharing feelings or reaching out for help can be looked at in a negative way.  Unfortunately there are people out there who don’t want to hear it or think that we are just complaining to get attention.  But what about those of us who are deeply hurting, on their wit’s end and just needing a place to share their feelings.  When I read her comment I could’ve just moved on to the next one and let it go, heck it was a click on my page. But that would have defeated my purpose of this blog, to help and embrace those going through the pain of loss.  So I did the most logical thing and called the police!  The poor “old” man who answered the phone replied to me with “what’s a blog?” . At that moment I knew that this was all going to be up to me.

Once I was able to make contact, and make sure she was OK and had a friend on the way to be with her I sat silently and just shivered.  I was proud of myself for sticking with it and making sure that this stranger was going to be alright, but at the same time wondering if anyone would have done the same for me, and that is what keeps this blog going.

Compassion, is one of the most important virtues one can possess.  Listening, sharing, looking into the eyes of someone who is hurting can mean the world to them.

suitcaseSo, at this point your wondering why my suitcase is empty….well in just a couple of days I will finally be meeting this woman who has changed me.  She has given me purpose with my blog. She has given me the confidence to continue writing in hopes that I am helping anyone else out there who may be reading.

We have shared a lot of the same hurts over the past few years as our circumstances were similar.  But I want to arrive with my suitcase empty and ready for her to not only share her world, her friendship and love, but to fill my bag with her strength, courage and hope so that I can return home and thrive on the bond that was grown out of sharing our stories and our openness to be there for each other, even though we had not met.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

4/5/16

 

Imagine……YOUR Change!


life is artI’m here!! It’s finally happened I have climbed an unimaginable hurdle and guess what? I survived!  Though the bumps and bruises along the way have left some scars, I feel like I am ready to embrace my change.  For so long I have wanted to make it all go away, there had to be a way I could go through it without actually living it.

Unfortunately I never found out how to do that.  The road was long and there were many times I wanted to just give up.  Today I sit in my new space with fresh walls that will hold only new memories for me and I am a very happy Butterfly!

It has been very strange since I moved, things are actually happening without a struggle.  The old saying “everything is falling into place” is really happening.  The last few weeks I have caught myself not wanting to get too excited thinking maybe I would jinx something.  If I were to do that though, I would miss out on a lot of new-found happiness.  My surroundings are beautiful, peaceful and a great place for new beginnings.  This weekend I spent decorating and boy did I put my heart into the energy and created what I think are some beautiful rooms.  It’s amazing that one little $2.00 purchase would get the creative juices going and an entire theme room took shape.   I took something that by itself was plain and simple, added a little glitz and created something spectacular.

I am a very lucky lady today, I have been given a chance to embrace my change and imagine all the possibilities of the future.  Just a few years ago I never would have given any of that a second thought.  I was stuck in the event that was forcing unwanted change and thought for sure that is where I would forever be.

My new assignment is to learn how to really take it all in without worry or stress.  I know the practice of living in the moment takes a lot of discipline but I am willing to give it one heck of a try.  Living day-to-day without stressing over something whether it be big or small is just what the doctor ordered.  I am Learning how to imagine a future where I can be happy. Anything_Is_Possible

Within these new plain walls, I have begun to create a canvas of hope.  Something I never thought would come, but will forever be a welcome guest in my new home.

Did you know when you were ready to imagine your change, your future?  Please comment.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

9/21/14

Related Links/Blogs

For The First Time In Forever, Frozen

Your Mind Is A Canvas

You Need To Know Something

 

Calm, Cool, and Almost Collected


calmSince my last post dealt with realizing the amount of physical pain that can come along with stress,  I had better follow-up with talking about the stillness that can come following acceptance.

It was not easy for me to grab onto the diagnosis of stress induced nerve damage, it’s not something that is frequently talked about and I had never really heard of it before.  I figured I had two options, shut up and deal with it or argue.  Since I have been searching for three years for the cause of my symptoms I decided I will just shut up and deal, starting with some positive life changes.

I sat down to make a list of things that I thought would help to alleviate some of the stress, but these had to be things that I could actually control.  Of course I would love to say, erase all debt and make me pain free…There! done! stress gone.   That list is the pretend list cause those things are out of my control.  Yes I can work on my lowering my debt but erasing it all is a complete fantasy.  I didn’t want to overwhelm myself with a long list of things to start with so I wrote just a couple and within a weeks time I have been able to make those changes.  The first was to get extra rest.  I decided to make a cut off time every night where I would sit down, decompress and relax.  I would do this with enough time before I actually went up to bed so that once I was ready to sleep, the thoughts of my day would be done and my mind would be able to rest.  I ended up sleeping 12 hours two nights in a row!  I changed my schedule only slightly, doing some of my weekend morning things in the evening, so that if my body wanted to sleep in I would not be missing anything I needed to do.

The second item was to work on changing my thoughts when they drifted to a place that would cause me anxiety.  This meant any anxious thought that popped into my head at any time.  I knew this would be more difficult than the first item would be and would take more effort on my part.  With comments from my counselor we agreed that when these moments came I needed to first take a deep breath to settle myself, then figure out what caused the thoughts.  What was I doing in that moment that prompted it?  Once I have that information, decide is this something I need to be doing, if not then it would be the last time, but if it is then what do I need to do in order to complete that task without raising my stress level?   So far so good that part is going to take some training but I am confident that I learn to master it.rest

All in all I would say I had a productive week and completed my first step to learning how to alleviate stress that is in my life and/or caused by life.  We will never be totally free of stress and I can attest to the fact that traumatic events will cause stress to linger a lot longer than we ever thought possible.  Learning how to cope so that it does not get to the point of causing us physical harm is vital to our wellbeing.

Do you have any suggestions on being calm, cool and collected when surviving stress?  Please share.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

6/23/14

Related blogs/links

Oceans, Hillsong United

Anxiety, A Life Less Physical

Stress Management (AKA the silent Killer), Real Living

Limits And Stress, QuirkyJuice