Tag: faith

What An Awesome God

Published on by Kimberly Novak1 Comment

It is no secret how I feel about Christian Worship music, especially songs written by Phil Wickham. God has always used music as a way to speak to my heart. Sometimes the lyrics have given me little warnings of something on the horizon. At other times, the music serves as a means for God to comfort me, filling me with love and joy.

A few weeks ago, I downloaded Phil’s newest song, “What An Awesome God,” and within seconds, my toes began to tap, my shoulders started swaying, and before I knew it, my arms were reaching to the clouds in praise to our Heavenly Father.

After listening to the lyrics, I was completely at peace, and I knew that God was about to do something miraculous in my life. It has been a year and five months since my traumatic brain injury, and my healing journey has been full of ups and downs. I am one of the lucky ones; I have been left with only mild side effects. Still, though, I have been dealing with what seemed like one new diagnosis after another.

In a previous post, I wrote about the visions I experienced while in the hospital, where Jesus’ crown floated around my room. Since then, I have been praying over and over again about what a wonderful gift I received. Not just the gift of life, but the chance to see the face of Jesus through the vision of His crown.

This Lent, our church allowed venerating the crucifix. This, I pondered, is my moment. My chance to give Jesus all of my bodily pain, my tears, and my love. Perhaps this is the moment God had in mind all along. I didn’t even think, as my turn at the cross arrived. I reached my hands and touched the crown on Jesus’ head, and gently kissed Him right where I feel my pain. Tears of joy and hope fell from my eyes, and I praised my Awesome God for the gift of life both now and in eternity. Life, given to me by the sacrifice of His only Son.

My head pain subsided the next day. I didn’t want to react too quickly, thinking maybe I was just having a good day. As the weeks went by, though, I knew I had been healed. Or the medication I was given was finally working. Either way, I was grateful.

Fast forward to a month ago when I faced yet another diagnosis. Here we go, I thought. God took one thing away, and now I’ll get something new. I allowed myself to grieve health in a sense, but then turned to prayer. God showed up big time! In the process of diagnostic testing, I had to stop taking the headache medication for a few days. I was sure the pain would be more than I could bear, but I had no choice if we were to get to the bottom of another possible health crisis.

It has been one week since I stopped that medication, and I have had no headache! Proof positive that God healed my pain as I kissed Jesus’ head on Good Friday! It is also an answer to the prayers of many people who have been praying earnestly on my behalf. Also praiseworthy is that the new diagnosis they were testing me for came back negative! I see this as an opportunity given to me by God to go off that medication. He knew I didn’t need it anymore, but he had to show me. He used the laboratory tests as a way to do that.

God has always been very creative in the ways he gets my attention! And I love it when he uses Phil’s music to do so. If you’re looking for some praise music that may be life-changing, put on your dancing shoes and sing along with Phil…
“My God, You’re an awesome God
You’re great in all You do
I’m made to worship You
My God, You’re an awesome God!”

Praying Through Circular Thinking

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Well, I thought,” the three most dangerous words ever to enter my thinking pattern. Any word in the dictionary could follow that phrase, and I would still end up in the same place, making assumptions without all the facts.

One of the worst possible outcomes of any situation is assumed. It holds no merit because it never existed.  Oh, how my imagination loves to cook up the most unpleasant in even the best situations! To make myself feel better, I blame it on the creativity of the writer within me. In reality, it is the dangerous swirl of circular thinking that takes me down a dark winding road.

I do admit, on many occasions, this has had a negative effect not only on my mind but my overall well-being. A hazardous place to be is in a worrying state of mind, especially when one makes a habit of focusing on the same thought consistently.

Let’s make it clear that circular thinking does not include times when something needs to be mulled over or instances which require much thought before a decision is made. I am referring to those cycles when the thought patterns repeatedly make assumptions about a resulting outcome. “Maybe if I did this, then that would happen,” or “He hasn’t responded to my email, I’m sure I’ve made him angry,” and phrases of this nature.

I’m not a professional, but I believe many factors induce this thinking pattern. Societal influences, childhood memories, or having a nervous personality, to name a few. In my younger days, in high school, I developed an undeniable fear of public speaking. This was ironic because I had been part of a choir before high school. There were even times when I sang a solo. Yet, something triggered a genuine fear, a circular thinking pattern, when speaking before my peers.

The fear was so intense that I would take a zero on an assignment, not prepare, and skip the class. I had repeated visions, all made up in my mind, that whatever I was supposed to do would be a failure.  Another aspect of circular thinking is going back over something again and again. Now, it’s too late to fix my state of mind at 16. However, at my current age, I can face fear and flourish in it.

How I reacted as a young girl is a part of who I am today, and I would not change any of it. Is the fear still there? Absolutely! However, I am old enough to see it, face it and grow because of it. Over the last several years since becoming a spiritual director, I have had to laugh at where God has taken me.  Part of my ministry has evolved in speaking engagements, putting myself on video saying prayers, and having a passion for spiritual writing.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So, what do you do when God places your biggest fear repeatedly on your path? You pray through it and conquer it. It is through these events that I have learned to remove fear from my mindset, all with my mighty God!  I’m not perfect; after all, it was in the act of circular thinking that this post originated.

Thoughts of this nature are going to happen. It’s in knowing how to shut them down where faith and growth play a part. The only circular thinking I allow myself to remain is knowing that I am in God, and God is in me! That phrase is one I will never tire of repeating!  God is in me, and I am in God!

Follow Me

Published on by Kimberly NovakLeave a comment

2020 has been full of surprises and surrender! I’m learning things about myself, my time management skills and creativity for pandemic boredom.

I’m also learning how to use the opposite side of my body and that is amping up my need for slow controlled movements. Although frustrating, this exercises my virtue of patience.


I had surgery a little over a week ago on my shoulder so I am now only able to use my non-dominant left hand and arm for various tasks. The plan was to return to work next week and continue on the healing journey. Then yesterday happened, I blacked out at the doctors office and had to spend several hours there before being able to come home and salvage what was left of my wedding anniversary.


All of a sudden I find myself in a place of forced respite; the doctor has written me off work for another week. Having a lot of downtime would be awesome, but in this physical state I am limited as to what I can do. I love to journal when I pray and not being able to write with my dominant hand has been somewhat disheartening. Today God invited me to spend some time outside and journal using my left hand and a totally different side of my brain.


In July I attended an overnight retreat on praying through art and received an art prayer journal which I’ve only opened once since then, so today out came the oil based crayons and watercolors.


I began with the page in portrait orientation. While listening to prayerful music and closing my eyes I placed the brush in the center and just started with a gentle swirling motion. Feeling my hand moving upwards, I opened my eyes to extend outward. At first glance what I saw was a snail with googly eyes and I wondered where God could be leading me. Sitting quietly for just another moment I opened my eyes again and turned the page landscape and what I saw then was a unique looking fish! I then worked from the bottom of the sea adding plants and corals then the water. I wanted to put some sort of a light since at this point I knew Jesus was the big fish, and did my best to brighten a yellow spot in the water. As I continued coloring and drawing I did so with a smile knowing that God was bringing out in me one of my favorite scripture passages, Matthew 4:19: “And he said unto them, follow me and I will make you fishers of men”.

Once I realized this, I was a little bummed that I had not left more space behind the large fish for followers. Drawing and painting the little fish proved very difficult with my non-dominant hand some of them look like they can use a little help but then don’t we all!


At this point the yellow brightness was just a blob in the water so I gave it roots and soon it was more plant life. This would be the finishing point and I was excited to have completed it all with my left hand! Even though a 5th grader could do better, I felt accomplished and at ease in my mind.


Looking at the finished product again in portrait mode, I still see that silly looking snail-like creature but now it appears as if the little fish are being held or somewhat shepherded.


When I attended the art workshop I learned some unique things about what colors and lines mean for me. Based on the workshop insights in assigning a color and a brush stroke to an emotion, this painting reveals what I was experiencing during this prayerful moment. The colors of teal, blue, and green represent harmony peace and anticipation. The colors of yellow, orange and black represent hope, sadness and confusion. The purple color represents excitement.


Taking time to reflect on the insights revealed through color and line was amazing and warmed my heart. Jesus is providing harmony; the waters are peaceful and the little bit of green in the coral at the bottom is where the anticipation lies; hope is being revealed in the yellow sea plants that Jesus is swimming towards; confusion lies in the orange of the sea plants at the bottom of the sea; and sadness and frustration are revealed in the black color of the following fish. Then excitement is revealed in the purple branches that are holding up the hope-filled yellow sea plant!


The scripture passage this drawing revealed has always been near and dear to my heart especially when it comes to Spiritual Direction and my answering God’s call. God brought it into my heart today to uplift me and to remind me that He is the one who puts color on my canvas. God knows exactly how I am feeling on this bump in my journey. As long as I trust and follow him with courage, hope and strength in my heart I will be OK.

At this moment for whatever reason , God has asked me to take a step back. This prayerful experience and in this form of journaling has revealed for me that I still have hope in God even amidst the confusion sadness, and my frustration. I know that Jesus is still leading me towards my exciting and hope-filled life!


Thank you for taking the time to read and I hope you get a chuckle at the masterpiece! 😊 Many blessings for a great evening to you all!

Courageous Butterfly