Delete, Delete, Delete!!!!


Cupid-datingIf you have been feverishly looking for the post that was titled Swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool, I’m sorry to tell you it has sank like the Titanic. A first has happened…I wrote a horrible blog post and actually deleted it from my site!  I was very scatterbrained, and all over the place.  There were so many thoughts getting jumbled in my head that night, nothing came out on the page the way I wanted it to.  So…. I hit DELETE!

How nice would it be if we could actually hit a delete button when life itself gets jumbled and nothing goes right?  We have all wished for a do-over…a what if moment…a magic button that would make it all ok.  The good news is, we can!  We are blessed to wake up every day with a fresh start, a new day to make many many more mistakes or seize the day and make it what we want it to be!

sparkly poolSo, back to the original post.  A friend of mine recently told me that I was swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool.  Let’s take a short pause here and interject some humor if you will.  Imagine a pool with crystal blue water and it goes as deep as the sea.  The sun should be shining, but the day is presenting with a soft light rain.  The air is slightly warm and there is a mild breeze.  The water is perfect, warm and soothing.  Life is great, happiness is overflowing and then it hits…….I can’t swim!!!

Legs are flailing around as fast as they can, arms are trying to paddle to stay afloat.  Panic is setting in, breathing becomes heavy, fear is taking over the body. That…my friends is what swimming in the dating pool feels like!

Now who is to say which end is the correct end to be swimming in? Or in my case treading gently.  I have always stayed in the shallow end of life.  The safe zone I guess you can call it.  Regularly avoiding conflict, constantly pleasing everyone.  Lately though, I am feeling confident and secure in who I am and what I want my future to hold for me.  I’m learning to swim through life without wearing a vest, and that is a very scary thing, though necessary.

It is necessary because swimming with a life preserver on is extremely difficult.  All you are really doing is floating and not getting anywhere.  I’m ready to swim and maybe even jump off that high dive.  It is time to surf! Grab a board and go for it! I think my balance is strong enough to carry me to where I want to be.

Dating is a scary thing, especially at a later age.  I really want to embrace it, enjoy it, and pursue it, rather than deleting it.

Have you dated post divorce? Would love to hear your story.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

10/24/15

Love It Anyway


6a0120a4cbac3d970b0120a5ea961e970b-800wiLife is full of moments…those of happiness, sadness, joy, excitement, fear, doubt, and pure satisfaction.  We cannot choose when and where these moments will happen, they just do and we have it in our power to take each as it comes and love it anyway.

The last few months I have felt kind of lost. I thought I was still looking for what I was supposed to be when I grow up but as it turns out I am passionately happy in my current career.  I love where I work even if it is not the best paying gig on the market, I mean something to those around me.  I am appreciated, accepted, and needed.  It’s not the top of the latter, but I love it anyway.

I have the cutest apartment ever.  I don’t have to landscape, I have met friends, I am comfortable.  Rent may be high, but I love it anyway.

Family is awesome! Loving, accepting, although sometimes overbearing, critical, self-serving, overpowering, but I love it anyway.

When I think about that phrase “love it anyway” It makes me relax.  That may sound strange but if you really think about it in any situation and just apply that principle it can make a whole lot of difference.  Take for instance, a little toddler throwing food around, you accept it and love it anyway.  When my dear princess dog runs off with the T.P.  I stop to take photos because I love it anyway.

How would relationships work if we applied the “love it anyway principle”? And does it mean the same thing in a romantic relationship?  When it comes to family or our children we are easy to let things slide; can that be done when we are dating?

free-falling1I am still trying to figure all this out.  From my recent studies (living life) what I can say is that no, we cannot apply the love it anyway principle.  It is not that easy just to go where the wind blows or to accept where the wind has taken you.

In a fairy tale world we all want to live by this rule, life would be perfect if we just loved it anyway.  We can do that with the little things in life. As was proven with the toddler and the puppy.  But I don’t think it can be applied to the every day adult life.  However, I am not one to let life kick me in the ass!  I’m gonna love it anyway!

I will continue to take what is given to me and just go with the flow! I may be knocked down here and there, I may come out with a few bruises.  It’s the gold medal that will count and I have to earn it.  I may only be at a silver or bronze, but the gold is just around the corner, I can feel it.

I may not be where I thought I would be at this point in my life, but I love it anyway!

Can you say the same? I’d love your comments.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly 9/12/15

Related topics/links

Do It Anyway, Martina McBride

God’s Plan Is Greater

The Very Best Will Come To Be

The….TICK…TICK…TICK……of the Clock.


timer-digital-clockNO! That is not my biological clock ticking, it is the constant pounding sound of the love clock which is buried deep within me somewhere.  Sometimes it is extremely loud and other times I can’t even hear it, but I know it is there, I’m just not so sure if I should be watching it or just let time run its course.

TICK….TICK….TICK…annoying isn’t it?

I am CERTAINLY not an expert on relationships and I hope that I never will be, life without that mystery would be really boring!  I watched a movie last night called the Timer, and it really got me thinking….sometimes good, sometimes not so good….but I decided to keep that thinking going and after a while it kind of made some sense.  My last post talked about finding our soul mate, is it possible?  Perhaps….Can we be patient?  Most of us would say no…we want to know right now if we have found that ONE.

The timer in the movie is a clock that was implanted in the arms of someone over the age of 14.  They all started with a zeroed out clock, at some point the clock starts working and gives you a count down of when you will meet your soul mate.  When two souls that are meant for each other meet, their clocks simultaneously zero out again,  Most people succumb to the pressure of needing that clock, constantly watching it to see when and where they will meet the love of their lives, while other’s protest it and only look for those who are timer-less. Some even go as far as having it removed because they can’t handle the fact it has been zero for so long and they are sure they don’t have a soul mate out there.

At first I found the movie a bit off the wall, but it started to feel so real to me after a while.  There was a period of time when the lead thought she had found her soul  mate in a timer-free man even though he had not started the count down on hers, but it didn’t stop her from just living in the moment all the while thinking she was falling in love with him.

She thought she was happy and went to have her timer removed believing she had met her soul mate and that the timers were a farce.  Just as they were reaching out for her arm to do the removal her clock started counting down.  Now she was faced with a choice…..ignore it and stay happy with whom she had found, or have faith in the clock and wait it out for her ONE to find her.  THAT was  the moment it all became real for me!

So many people go through there lives knowing that they have their one and only, I was pretty sure I had in my ex, but then there are those who continue to wander aimlessly looking, hoping, praying, and unfortunately settling.  Not to say that settling is all that bad, as I learned in the movie she was pretty darn happy with the timer-less love, but her soul wasn’t, and the sound of that inner clock beating on her heart was a constant reminder that she needed to wait out her clock.

Happy ending of course, as the two soul mates came together their eyes locked and both timer’s zeroed out, however it was a movie.  So can this really happen, not having timer’s shoved into our arms, but can we really meet the one whom we are destined to be with and when we do will we KNOW we have found them?  fuse

I am feeling mighty faithful this morning and I am more than ready to go ahead and keep listening to my inner timer even though at times that clicking sound may seem like nails on a chalkboard, it will stop someday and then I’LL know.  My fuse is lit and I will not douse it on my own, I will wait when the time is right it will put itself out.

Do not give up my fellow singles, that someone is out there listening to their clock and when the time is right you will both zero out together.

Can you hear your clock? Will you have the patience to wait for the real deal?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Kimberly

Courageous Butterfly

2/15/15

Related links/posts

One, Ed Sheeran

True Love, My Thoughts, My World, My Blog

Settling, Life After HerAffairs