If you have been feverishly looking for the post that was titled Swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool, I’m sorry to tell you it has sank like the Titanic. A first has happened…I wrote a horrible blog post and actually deleted it from my site! I was very scatterbrained, and all over the place. There were so many thoughts getting jumbled in my head that night, nothing came out on the page the way I wanted it to. So…. I hit DELETE!
How nice would it be if we could actually hit a delete button when life itself gets jumbled and nothing goes right? We have all wished for a do-over…a what if moment…a magic button that would make it all ok. The good news is, we can! We are blessed to wake up every day with a fresh start, a new day to make many many more mistakes or seize the day and make it what we want it to be!
So, back to the original post. A friend of mine recently told me that I was swimming in the wrong end of the dating pool. Let’s take a short pause here and interject some humor if you will. Imagine a pool with crystal blue water and it goes as deep as the sea. The sun should be shining, but the day is presenting with a soft light rain. The air is slightly warm and there is a mild breeze. The water is perfect, warm and soothing. Life is great, happiness is overflowing and then it hits…….I can’t swim!!!
Legs are flailing around as fast as they can, arms are trying to paddle to stay afloat. Panic is setting in, breathing becomes heavy, fear is taking over the body. That…my friends is what swimming in the dating pool feels like!
Now who is to say which end is the correct end to be swimming in? Or in my case treading gently. I have always stayed in the shallow end of life. The safe zone I guess you can call it. Regularly avoiding conflict, constantly pleasing everyone. Lately though, I am feeling confident and secure in who I am and what I want my future to hold for me. I’m learning to swim through life without wearing a vest, and that is a very scary thing, though necessary.
It is necessary because swimming with a life preserver on is extremely difficult. All you are really doing is floating and not getting anywhere. I’m ready to swim and maybe even jump off that high dive. It is time to surf! Grab a board and go for it! I think my balance is strong enough to carry me to where I want to be.
Dating is a scary thing, especially at a later age. I really want to embrace it, enjoy it, and pursue it, rather than deleting it.
Have you dated post divorce? Would love to hear your story.
Kimberly
Courageous Butterfly
10/24/15
Out of the Chrysalis 
So your friend was suggesting that you were down in the shallow end, and advised you should jump in the deep end?
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Not really. My friend was suggesting age wise I was in the wrong end of the pool. And that men that age don’t want what I want. I want to life life jumping in and seeing what is there. Age to me has no bearing.
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I suppose, just like jumping in the deep end, there are risks if you cannot swim. But maybe that is the only way to learn! I am not that brave and would need to tread softly softly.
(Although it is NOT where my head-space is at the moment. I am enjoying the freedom of being single.)
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You hit the nail on the head Elizabeth!!!! Learning what you are looking for is the most important part of the dating process. I have found that sometimes it is difficult to know what that is. For me it’s trial and error right now. Sometimes I THINK I know what I want but then there are other times when what I thought I wanted was totally the wrong direction.
What we need is a guide book for women over 40 (at least I do) who have been divorced and never really dated before in their lives! I was married at 19, so I really haven’t dated as an adult! It is an experience that is for sure!
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